What's It Worth Day: Reflection and Projection

As I have the opportunity to have another birthday in life, I think about important things as I guess quite a few people do on their birthdays. At a certain age You reflect upon your past, and what you've done, Kind of proud of certain things in life, while cringing at others. You also take a gander around you and feel out where you are standing at the moment. what your life is like, Who you have around you at the present time, and what your state of mind is. The last thing that you think about is where you are headed. Because there is always somewhere you think you have to be. Whether it be physical, or mental. Sometimes the right now is only good enough until birthdays come around, because birthdays have a way of reminding us of our mortality. There are no bigger mixed feelings for some than to be at the crossroads of appreciating the aspect of getting older, and dreading it at the same time.
 Some people get depressed at their birthdays for a myriad of reasons. Since I understand human nature I get why that happens, but I could never identify with it fully. Living another year is a privilege that some people didn't get on a day that happens to have fallen on your particular birthday. I always wondered why people took that for granted, just because they haven't found love, have lines in their face, or grey hair, or aren't making whatever money they feel they need to make at some particular junction. Yes time is running out as we speak, but there is no need to be wary of that situation, because it is something that you have no control over. What you do have control over is you, and how you perceive things, and how you approach them, and how you view events in your life past and present. Which brings me to my own Birthday.

I consider myself at this point in life to be extremely fortunate. I can look back at my life and say that I have had some worthy life growing experiences, that at the time I wasn't happy about them happening, but upon reflection, they put character in my soul. Some people never have the chance to love and share a life with someone, and I had that opportunity twice. Some people have by this time lost parents or grandparents, or have never even had a substantial parental figure to ground them. I still have mine.  Some people never figure out just what they have for a talent, and never develop that spiritual outlet needed to extend themselves. I fortunately have the ability to play music and give of my inner self in such a manner that it may please some, but if I for some reason never get the opportunity to play in front of an audience again, I will still hopefully have the reward itself of playing music, because that is its own reward to me. I still believe in a dream that I have, and that dream is fully possible, if I work hard, and persevere with discipline, and focus.
I am not wealthy by any stretch of the imagination, but I am rich beyond my wildest imagination with friends who love me, respect me, and I can talk to. With family who has always been there when I needed them, and kept me grounded and based in reality when I get too high faluttin' for my own good, and I have managed to surround myself with good people who don't destroy, but build. Whether it be themselves, or their own particular corner of the universe, they have a purpose in life and accept high standards of behavior within themselves and others around them. Drama is a burden that I don't have patience for, but is irrelevant because the people I choose to spend significant quality of face time with, don't either.
At this point in my life I still don't know as much as some, but I certainly know more than others. I am not a slave to the almighty dollar, as money is not my prime directive. My prime directive is being a good person, and try doing the things I love to do. I sleep well at night knowing that I treat people the way I would like to be treated, and that I do what I can to the best of my ability. If something wasn't enough, then I certainly wish it was, but if I did my best, then that is what I could do.
I guess I feel fortunate for all of the above, and the fact that I have my health, my mind, and my dreams intact, and they are all intertwined to make me who I believe that I am today. Whether that be someone's cup of tea or not is not my concern, nor is my concern to please everyone I come across in life. My goal is to be happy with myself as a child of the universe, and to in my own way try to change a little of the world, or at least leave my space in it a little better than when I got here. I feel good about being the age I am living in the time I am living now because there are fascinating incredible things that can be seen, and some of those fascinating incredible things are as simple as a sunrise in my back yard, or the sound of Bullfrogs. It sounds corny, and simple but it's what I have learned and accept. Appreciate the things that deserve appreciation, and everything else is icing on the cake. And one of the very things to appreciate and not take for granted is growing older. So as my age number changes today, I don't mind growing older. I just don't want to grow old..

.And as the people that know me, or correspond with me, or if I have in some way made some positive impact upon you, then I am on the right path. What path is that? The "leaving things better than I found them". As I look forward, I know just where I want to go and what it takes to get there. I have no idea what the future holds but one thing is certain..There will  be setbacks, and leaps forward,, tears and laughter, good times, and times where I may feel miserable. That's what life is.. a ball of unpredictable contradictions. A process of learning, growing, and evolving. But I am glad to be a part of the process. And no matter what the future has in store for me, so far the process has been something I wouldn't trade for the world.
Here's to life!