When one officially gets categorized as an adult, I liken it to the christening of a ship. There is the actual building process that took place beforehand, the inspection of whether or not it is ready to be ocean bound, and then the actual ceremony that takes place to officially send it off to its journey. During that ceremony words are said to bless the vessel, everyone stands around to admire what a fine sight it is, and imagine just what kind of adventures it will get into. Once the celebratory bottle is broken over the bow, the ship then enters the waters ready to discover just what it can do, and hopefully live up to, or beyond the expectations set for it. For the first part of the journey it can still see the shore, and if something goes wrong, of course it could make a turnaround for tweaking. There comes a point when the ship is not just on the open sea, but far from any shore in any direction, and that's when it really has the freedom and ability to shine. Life is exactly like that, and there comes a point when you look around and discover that you are on the high seas of life. You are still a powerful vessel, with experiences in battles, and storms. No longer a newly christened ship, with a young crew of thoughts, but far from being decommissioned as a floating museum, or relic.
That's about where I am at this stage in my life. I am on the high seas of life still trying to chart out my own undiscovered waters.Oh don't get me wrong. My life is not some fascinating fast paced adventure like 007 or something like that, but right now I feel like I have grown greatly since the last birthday, and growth means heading for uncharted waters, because growth means learning. And when you are learning, it means you are discovering. There is no shortcut to anything of quality, and growth isn't an exception. It takes mistakes, failures, happy events, painful events, finding out what one is good at, along with accepting flaws, and mostly truth. Accepting the truth about ones self is crucial to being able to learn. Over the years, I have accepted many truths about myself. Some I am happy with, and some are ugly, but they are there and because I accept them, I don't have some painful internal strife happening.
With all of the growth and introspection going on inside, those who know me personally and for a long time would probably say that not much has changed in many years as far as my core behavior. I still like a good inappropriate joke, along with great adult deep conversation. I still do my best to treat people the way I would want to be treated, and I sleep very well at night knowing that whatever I attempted, whether I succeeded, or failed, I gave the best effort that I could give. I still believe in the power of dialogue, and wish that more held the same philosophy, because when you really break it down to its essence, the only thing that separates us is words. I still believe in the power of music to heal and bring people together, and try to do my part in that department. Many will say that I am some sort of Music "Nazi' but I know what I like, and don't like and have extremely sometimes harsh views of the music business, and what I see. That has been the case since I was a teen, and remains consistent in my adulthood. money does not drive my ambition at all. It is fulfillment and happiness which you cannot put a price on no matter how hard you try.
Here on the high seas, I can look back and appreciate the things that got me to this point. I have been married twice, and enjoyed that status when I was in it, but I thoroughly enjoy being by myself now to pursue what I want to do whether that involve music, or sitting and reading. I have been through some awful things in life, and yet I made it through, and can hopefully help others that went through such things. From my upbringing to now, I have remained pretty consistent because of the solid rocks that raised me, meaning my Grandmother and Grandfather. One of the saddest days in my life happened this past year, as my Grandmother passed away. The strongest, wisest, and most powerful matriarch that I have ever had the pleasure to know left me. But what she left me with is what I carry with me now. Sense of self, knowledge of people, toughness, tenacity, pride in whatever I do, how I conduct myself, and respect for others. This is what I try to carry with me over the ocean of my life and occasionally, I falter, but I continue to try my damndest to leave some place better than when I found it, and make things better around me. It's what my Grandmother and Grandfather taught me, and I hope to take that philosophy to my grave. So with my Grandmother gone, and one more storm I had to go through, becomes one more test in life to see just what I am made of. I am glad that I am not made of straw, or sticks, but of brick that can withstand the winds of the high seas. Thank you Honey and Grandaddy.
As another birthday arrives, I am once again thankful for everything. The people I know, the people I have loved, the gift that I have been given, the life that I live, and the things that have transpired to make me the continued work in progress that I am currently. there is so much more to do in life, and so much I want to learn, that I will never live long enough to do it all. We never do. But the idea is to do the best you can do, be the best you can be, and let the chips fall where they may. And that's where I am now at this moment on the high seas..Tomorrow never knows on the ocean of being.
Friday, February 22, 2013
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
The Potential Of People: Maddening Disappointment
If you have the opportunity to have a friend that challenges the way you think, then I believe that you should always take that opportunity to the fullest. Someone who takes you to task, and helps you to see the aspects of yourself unfiltered, and naked is one of the most important things you can have in life. Some people never find it, others are very much afraid of it. The reason most people when told they should go to counseling, balk like they are being told to walk a ledge, is because in a sense that is what they are being told to do. They are being told to see the truth about themselves in a way that demands exploration further, and they could be called out for not accepting a facet of themselves that is undesirable or hard to swallow...And they could fall. If one embraces this notion, the opportunity for growth is tremendous, because you are finding out more about yourself, than you could ever do on your own introspective time. So when having a friend, counselor, sage, whatever you like to call it, in your corner you can learn real layers of yourself, and why you may behave the way you do. This can lead you to correcting something, fixing something, or adjusting the behavior as a whole. And that is exactly what happened to me after an intense conversation with a friend.
I had a very important epiphany when engaged in an in depth conversation about the world and myself. Something I didn't really know about myself but when I did discover it, a light popped on, and now other things fall into place. I was talking about the world and I was getting fired up and intense like I do when talking about idiocy, levels of acceptance, and the empty headed behavior that I see all over the place, and finally one question was posed to me: "What irritates you?" After some hack roundabout answer I gave was unacceptable, I was asked to really think about the question, and finally the answer was something that is completely contradictory to my persona. What really irritates me most of all, and makes me in fact damn pissed off is ....People.
This revelation was very strange to me considering I actually thought that I loved people. People are interesting, and beautiful in their own way, but further conversation made me realize I do not necessarily love people,but I love the potential of them as a whole. But that's not what drives the disdain for people. What drives the disdain, and anger toward people that I didn't realize I had, is the emotion of "Disappointment". Not disappointment in petty things like "someone didn't call", or "someone said something behind someone's back". Nothing that small. I'm talking about the disappointment of the behavior of people in this new age of technology interaction that was supposed to bring us closer. I guess my expectations of what things could be was so high, and the potential is so obvious, that I can't help but be completely angry when others don't see it. Potential for what?? For that certain connection between human beings to see others as themselves, to talk about issues to solve them, to act like adults, and spread important information and knowledge. Instead we have become a world of "I'm right, and they're wrong", and cliques, and groups even more than when there was no internet, or even telephones, which are now even more intertwined, making people stupider, and more dependent upon things to occupy their boredom(when there should be none). The inability of people to come together except at tragedies or crisis drives me insane, because after those events are over, some go right back to acting like they never happened., and that instance could have been the start of important dialogue to make infectious to others.
It was pointed out to me that these are things I can't control, and I know this. I can only control my thoughts and actions,and I should worry about just those. And of course someone would ask just who the hell am I to get pissed off at whatever people do? I get that concept completely. I certainly have had many flawed moments in life, and will have many more when I am through, but the potential is killing me. It doesn't cost anything to talk to people about a topic, or discuss like an adult, yet people don't want to spend that. They would rather throw a tantrum, act like idiots, and preoccupy their time in a crowded room of people texting someone who's across the room. They would rather say "OMG" and not learn vocabulary, and call someone some name, rather than expressing themselves in an intelligent manner to get their point across.They would rather spread idiotic misinformation on Facebook rather than take 10 minutes to see if it's true or not. 20% of people are 80% of the problem, but it's a 20% that constantly infects everyone like a pandemic. The potential for just how good this could be is right in front of us, but we have become a society that refuses to dive in because we are lazy all around. Not just physically, but mentally. And I get angry when it is displayed constantly like some tag on a new article of clothing that wasn't pulled off. There are plenty of good folks in this mix whose voices get smothered by the din of babies that surround them, so I am not trying to say that all are like this, but a very thick segment of people get corrupted in the stew.
America has become full of people who can't wrap their head around the idea that we are no longer the center of the universe, because of a combination of us slowing down and others catching up. It should be no surprise because we the melting pot have become so intolerant to other ways of life and we believe that everyone should act as us. Well the world has changed drastically and our ability to communicate on the level emotionally and intellectually with others from the world is crucial to us getting back in the game. But when you have people complaining and prioritizing about their I Phone, when people are starving, and fighting one another about whether someone is coming to take guns away, when school children are slaughtered, how are we supposed to be taken seriously as a people? I certainly wouldn't take us seriously if I was viewing this from somewhere else, and if this stuff occurred elsewhere we wouldn't take those people seriously. We should see ourselves as others see us for a change, but we're much too conceited to accept that concept.There is where my biggest disappointment lies. Not only are we fighting other people in the world, we fight each other for our own self indulgence.
Listen,I am no better than anyone, but I have a specific level of acceptance that I intend to adhere to, and what I like to see in people, and those that challenge themselves and others are the people that I like most, even if I don't agree with them.I have zero tolerance for stupidity in people, and I would love to see people of all races, creeds political origins etc..to come to the table and talk with one another. Yes I am some kind of hippie in my thinking, but I don't see anything wrong with that, yet maybe someone else does. All of the tools are in front of you.We all have the capability to be intelligent adults. Some choose to ignore that fact within themselves. Come together as people, and we will see so many problems go away. It's so easy, and so attainable, that it's maddening to see what actually transpires instead of that.
So my revelation or epiphany is that I am probably not really a lover of people, but a lover of the "potential of people". When someone lives up to that potential that I created in my mind, I am extremely happy for one more that could make things better..When someone doesn't, then it makes me pissed because they are holding the thing up for everyone else. Wrong? Maybe, but that's what I have discovered about myself after being challenged to peel back another layer, and look. It's my flaw for wanting something better than what is. Now that I've found it..Haven't figured out what to do with it...
Process, and peel.
I had a very important epiphany when engaged in an in depth conversation about the world and myself. Something I didn't really know about myself but when I did discover it, a light popped on, and now other things fall into place. I was talking about the world and I was getting fired up and intense like I do when talking about idiocy, levels of acceptance, and the empty headed behavior that I see all over the place, and finally one question was posed to me: "What irritates you?" After some hack roundabout answer I gave was unacceptable, I was asked to really think about the question, and finally the answer was something that is completely contradictory to my persona. What really irritates me most of all, and makes me in fact damn pissed off is ....People.
This revelation was very strange to me considering I actually thought that I loved people. People are interesting, and beautiful in their own way, but further conversation made me realize I do not necessarily love people,but I love the potential of them as a whole. But that's not what drives the disdain for people. What drives the disdain, and anger toward people that I didn't realize I had, is the emotion of "Disappointment". Not disappointment in petty things like "someone didn't call", or "someone said something behind someone's back". Nothing that small. I'm talking about the disappointment of the behavior of people in this new age of technology interaction that was supposed to bring us closer. I guess my expectations of what things could be was so high, and the potential is so obvious, that I can't help but be completely angry when others don't see it. Potential for what?? For that certain connection between human beings to see others as themselves, to talk about issues to solve them, to act like adults, and spread important information and knowledge. Instead we have become a world of "I'm right, and they're wrong", and cliques, and groups even more than when there was no internet, or even telephones, which are now even more intertwined, making people stupider, and more dependent upon things to occupy their boredom(when there should be none). The inability of people to come together except at tragedies or crisis drives me insane, because after those events are over, some go right back to acting like they never happened., and that instance could have been the start of important dialogue to make infectious to others.
It was pointed out to me that these are things I can't control, and I know this. I can only control my thoughts and actions,and I should worry about just those. And of course someone would ask just who the hell am I to get pissed off at whatever people do? I get that concept completely. I certainly have had many flawed moments in life, and will have many more when I am through, but the potential is killing me. It doesn't cost anything to talk to people about a topic, or discuss like an adult, yet people don't want to spend that. They would rather throw a tantrum, act like idiots, and preoccupy their time in a crowded room of people texting someone who's across the room. They would rather say "OMG" and not learn vocabulary, and call someone some name, rather than expressing themselves in an intelligent manner to get their point across.They would rather spread idiotic misinformation on Facebook rather than take 10 minutes to see if it's true or not. 20% of people are 80% of the problem, but it's a 20% that constantly infects everyone like a pandemic. The potential for just how good this could be is right in front of us, but we have become a society that refuses to dive in because we are lazy all around. Not just physically, but mentally. And I get angry when it is displayed constantly like some tag on a new article of clothing that wasn't pulled off. There are plenty of good folks in this mix whose voices get smothered by the din of babies that surround them, so I am not trying to say that all are like this, but a very thick segment of people get corrupted in the stew.
America has become full of people who can't wrap their head around the idea that we are no longer the center of the universe, because of a combination of us slowing down and others catching up. It should be no surprise because we the melting pot have become so intolerant to other ways of life and we believe that everyone should act as us. Well the world has changed drastically and our ability to communicate on the level emotionally and intellectually with others from the world is crucial to us getting back in the game. But when you have people complaining and prioritizing about their I Phone, when people are starving, and fighting one another about whether someone is coming to take guns away, when school children are slaughtered, how are we supposed to be taken seriously as a people? I certainly wouldn't take us seriously if I was viewing this from somewhere else, and if this stuff occurred elsewhere we wouldn't take those people seriously. We should see ourselves as others see us for a change, but we're much too conceited to accept that concept.There is where my biggest disappointment lies. Not only are we fighting other people in the world, we fight each other for our own self indulgence.
Listen,I am no better than anyone, but I have a specific level of acceptance that I intend to adhere to, and what I like to see in people, and those that challenge themselves and others are the people that I like most, even if I don't agree with them.I have zero tolerance for stupidity in people, and I would love to see people of all races, creeds political origins etc..to come to the table and talk with one another. Yes I am some kind of hippie in my thinking, but I don't see anything wrong with that, yet maybe someone else does. All of the tools are in front of you.We all have the capability to be intelligent adults. Some choose to ignore that fact within themselves. Come together as people, and we will see so many problems go away. It's so easy, and so attainable, that it's maddening to see what actually transpires instead of that.
So my revelation or epiphany is that I am probably not really a lover of people, but a lover of the "potential of people". When someone lives up to that potential that I created in my mind, I am extremely happy for one more that could make things better..When someone doesn't, then it makes me pissed because they are holding the thing up for everyone else. Wrong? Maybe, but that's what I have discovered about myself after being challenged to peel back another layer, and look. It's my flaw for wanting something better than what is. Now that I've found it..Haven't figured out what to do with it...
Process, and peel.
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