As this Christmas gets closer, I unfortunately overhear people mentioning to others about the wonderful Puppy, or Kitten or Bunny that they plan to spring upon their lovable child, and I'm sorry but I am repulsed by the idea. In a child's mind, Christmas is about opening present after present until there are no more presents left, and then as quickly as the high and rush of ripping open colored paper, and bows is over, then comes the almost depression and boredom that sets in when there is nothing else to see brand new. That is what children are, and it won't ever change, especially nowadays when they see this "thing", and that "thing" advertised on TV, making them almost rabid with desire for it, and for the love of God they must have it or they will die. A child being bombarded with that idea has absolutely no chance to resist, and to be fair here in America, having a childhood means enjoying the idea of getting presents for Christmas. I don't blame a child for that. That is our culture here that has been pushed and shoved onto us, as stores, and businesses try to make their yearly profits in one quarter. This concept of bombarding parents and children with "stuff" turns everything into objects, and as everyone knows, a month down the line, that "thing" that your lovable child wanted so badly has dust on it or the kid has just plain old misplaced it out of neglect, and is looking for the next "it" to get their hands on. Some parents decide that boy it would be wonderful to get little Johnny or Janey a kitten, or puppy for Christmas, and that in my opinion is the last thing that needs to be gotten for anyone on Christmas let alone an impatient child.
When you bring a domesticated animal into your home, that is supposed to become a member of the family. Period.That means that that member of the family has roughly the same needs as anyone else. They need attention, love, patience, medicine or a trip to the doctor when they are sick, and protection from the elements. I can't speak for all children, but in the mind of a child, a puppy, or kitten on Christmas day equates to an object that when they get bored, they can just put it aside, and not look at it, or when they have something they feel that they need to do, they can not attend to the needs of the particular family member who needs the most attention, which by the way all of a sudden becomes not them. A living animal is not a good present at all to give a child, because in their mind it is just that..A present, and not a living breathing life force with feelings. parents make this tremendous mistake, and then of course that puppy or kitten who is not so cute anymore, or the novelty has worn off is now off to a shelter, or in some cases depending upon the thoughtless individuals involved, worse, such as abandoned, or given away to some other folks where treatment is below standard, and the poor animal lives a miserable life all because someone thought this life was a good idea to give as a Christmas present.
Am I being dramatic? To be frank, absolutely not. When you adopt a pet, and have children, make sure that child understands that this is now a member of the family, that needs care, and love just like they do. Children need to understand that the new family member is alive, has feelings, and can be a wonderful friend that can give joy. Presents should be just that..Things to be played with, and have as objects....A pet is not that, and 9 times out of 10, if you give a child a pet for a Christmas present, they won't be able to in their young minds separate the two concepts. That is not their fault, because most young children can't think 3 dimensionally just yet. It is up to parents to not put them in a position where that gets confused.
Also, It's never even a good idea to get an adult a pet for a present, because most people don't really understand that a certain match must be made regarding temperament, lifestyle, and needs of that particular animal..Most men would never buy a woman shoes correct? So don't presume to get an animal for someone without talking with them first.That animal might end up the same fate as the shoes..Back to where it came from, because they didn't fit, and it was the wrong style.
I have been fortunate enough to over the last 15 years to have been the daddy of many animals that I loved, and took care of, and each one that I was able to pet, and woke up to feed was special in their own right. I don't have children, but they were my children as they relied on me to feed them, notice when they were sick, give them attention, and a dry place to sleep. I am proud of what I did for them, and yes it took plenty of patience sometimes, and lots of time to take care of them, but they love unconditionally, and even if you are a complete asshole, your pet will love you like you are the greatest thing since Hot Pockets..It takes a real jerk to not respond to that type of love. That's what a child has to understand, so give a little separation from Christmas, before perhaps investigating getting another member of the family. Because that is what you are investing in. Not just some pet, but someone who will love you and possibly be able to be a long friendship for your child or children. Don't turn a life into a "Thing" for Christmas. By the way I learned these things through osmosis over the years of being around the most compassionate animal people I know, and that knowledge is invaluable to me. I hope I can pass on a fraction of what I learned.
Merry Christmas Folks!
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Monday, December 12, 2011
Fire And Desire: The 900 lb Gorilla in the artistic room
Yesterday I sat and listened to a man talk about The arts, and just what people go through as being artists, and he used a very interesting analogy that I had never heard before. He stated that what all artists have, whether they be writers, musicians, painters, or sculptors is an inescapable piece of baggage that goes with them, and is part of them. It often isn't talked about, or flashed around like some wad of cash, or fancy ring. It is not visible, or can be detected by some survey, nor can it be swept aside and forgotten like junk mail. It is constantly present, and forceful, and is an aching burden upon all artistic minds. He called it "The 900 lb Gorilla in the room". And that gorilla is a bunch of things rolled into the artistic temperament. It is fire, desire, quest, ambition, focus, and a sheer powerful pull to do what is inside of them in the most raw, and unforgiving way possible. And I identify with everything that analogy stands for.
The Gorilla constantly needs feeding, or it will eat you itself. I can never turn off what I do, and I have sacrificed many things in order to feed my gorilla. And what I, and others who have artistic minds do is constantly be in the moment of somehow creating our art, even when we are not in a position to sit and create it. We think about it, we digest situations around us, and everything is a stimulus for what we do which is create, and apply. It is a constant on our minds even though we are in the moment of something else, we yearn for the moment where an idea, or epiphany of thought generates action to create. And when that happens, it is the most fulfilling sensation that we can ever feel because there is nothing better than the catalyst of thought being turned into something concrete, and part of ourselves. The gorilla is there present at all times, and often will take over and shield other aspects of our lives to be fed, and nourished. Anyone who creates, will understand and identify with what I'm trying to say. An artistic mind is quite different than the logical one of say a mathematician, or business executive. The artistic mind is constantly at war with itself and not logical problems that exist, or other people's minds. The war is creativity, and imagination of how it can operate outside the box and be different than others, and be even different than itself. Sometimes to play music, write songs, or even write this blog, I am constantly taking mental footnotes, and twisting them around in my head so that I can use them later, sometimes playing tricks in my mind in the middle of a conversation so that I can remember what I have thought without being rude and writing it down.
I have sometimes been called distant, and often people want to know just what I am thinking, but the honest truth is that I don't know how to explain it to them, because I sometimes can't explain it to myself. I am constantly processing and creating in my head, and feeding the gorilla, so that he doesn't destroy me. Because if the artistic mind cannot create, or tries to deny what it is meant to do, then the gorilla will turn on the owner, and literally drive that person crazy. Why I get up in the mornings is for my love of music, writing, and creation. If I could not do any of those, I would probably become miserable, withdrawn, and ultimately not desiring the other aspects of life itself. There was a point in my life where I tried to deny myself of what I do with the idea that I would just put everything away in my head, creatively, and musically, and just not have the desire anymore...That was very short lived as I was nearly depressed out of my mind, until my own gorilla saved me, and once I began to feed it, I became whole again.
It is a powerful aspect of us artistic minded folk that alienates some people, and draws others to us. And often as in the history of famous artists, musicians and writers, what they did sometimes made other things in their lives take a back seat. Things such as love, family, even in some extreme cases fresh air outside, have taken a secondary role to them feeding the gorilla. The pursuit of happiness is sometimes misguided as happiness may be right in front of them, but that is not the fulfillment that the gorilla wants. There is the balance if one can find it, but as this actor so accurately pointed out, it may never be enough.
I myself have an extreme desire to use my mind and gift that has been given to create something great. This has been my burden for as long as I can recall. It won't go away, and it is a heavy burden that I possess, because what is great? Great is subjective, and just because someone says something is great or bad doesn't necessarily make it so. The greatest novel in the world could possibly only sell 100 copies. The greatest song ever written could fall on deaf ears when heard. Great for the artistic mind is fulfillment. An inner peace of satisfaction that what came out of our minds was the best that we could possibly do has to be felt..And the sad thing is that even if we feel that, the opinion may change as we change. So it is true. It may never be enough, but we keep trying, and keep pushing for perfection within ourselves, and greatness of our souls, as we feed the 900 lb gorilla in the room of our minds. Artistic minded people are only humans who will eventually die like everyone else..But we want to create something...Anything that will help us to live forever. It is what we do, it is who we are, and it will either make us live, or help kill us, or both at the same time. I have to go now..I have just fed my gorilla, but he is hungry again...
The Gorilla constantly needs feeding, or it will eat you itself. I can never turn off what I do, and I have sacrificed many things in order to feed my gorilla. And what I, and others who have artistic minds do is constantly be in the moment of somehow creating our art, even when we are not in a position to sit and create it. We think about it, we digest situations around us, and everything is a stimulus for what we do which is create, and apply. It is a constant on our minds even though we are in the moment of something else, we yearn for the moment where an idea, or epiphany of thought generates action to create. And when that happens, it is the most fulfilling sensation that we can ever feel because there is nothing better than the catalyst of thought being turned into something concrete, and part of ourselves. The gorilla is there present at all times, and often will take over and shield other aspects of our lives to be fed, and nourished. Anyone who creates, will understand and identify with what I'm trying to say. An artistic mind is quite different than the logical one of say a mathematician, or business executive. The artistic mind is constantly at war with itself and not logical problems that exist, or other people's minds. The war is creativity, and imagination of how it can operate outside the box and be different than others, and be even different than itself. Sometimes to play music, write songs, or even write this blog, I am constantly taking mental footnotes, and twisting them around in my head so that I can use them later, sometimes playing tricks in my mind in the middle of a conversation so that I can remember what I have thought without being rude and writing it down.
I have sometimes been called distant, and often people want to know just what I am thinking, but the honest truth is that I don't know how to explain it to them, because I sometimes can't explain it to myself. I am constantly processing and creating in my head, and feeding the gorilla, so that he doesn't destroy me. Because if the artistic mind cannot create, or tries to deny what it is meant to do, then the gorilla will turn on the owner, and literally drive that person crazy. Why I get up in the mornings is for my love of music, writing, and creation. If I could not do any of those, I would probably become miserable, withdrawn, and ultimately not desiring the other aspects of life itself. There was a point in my life where I tried to deny myself of what I do with the idea that I would just put everything away in my head, creatively, and musically, and just not have the desire anymore...That was very short lived as I was nearly depressed out of my mind, until my own gorilla saved me, and once I began to feed it, I became whole again.
It is a powerful aspect of us artistic minded folk that alienates some people, and draws others to us. And often as in the history of famous artists, musicians and writers, what they did sometimes made other things in their lives take a back seat. Things such as love, family, even in some extreme cases fresh air outside, have taken a secondary role to them feeding the gorilla. The pursuit of happiness is sometimes misguided as happiness may be right in front of them, but that is not the fulfillment that the gorilla wants. There is the balance if one can find it, but as this actor so accurately pointed out, it may never be enough.
I myself have an extreme desire to use my mind and gift that has been given to create something great. This has been my burden for as long as I can recall. It won't go away, and it is a heavy burden that I possess, because what is great? Great is subjective, and just because someone says something is great or bad doesn't necessarily make it so. The greatest novel in the world could possibly only sell 100 copies. The greatest song ever written could fall on deaf ears when heard. Great for the artistic mind is fulfillment. An inner peace of satisfaction that what came out of our minds was the best that we could possibly do has to be felt..And the sad thing is that even if we feel that, the opinion may change as we change. So it is true. It may never be enough, but we keep trying, and keep pushing for perfection within ourselves, and greatness of our souls, as we feed the 900 lb gorilla in the room of our minds. Artistic minded people are only humans who will eventually die like everyone else..But we want to create something...Anything that will help us to live forever. It is what we do, it is who we are, and it will either make us live, or help kill us, or both at the same time. I have to go now..I have just fed my gorilla, but he is hungry again...
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Backseat Striving: Those who can't act, want to direct.
If you search Youtube, you will find recordings that people made of the great Jazz drummer Buddy Rich on profanity laced tirades to people. Someone left a tape recorder running, and upon first listen you would think that the man was an ogre, as he laid into members of his band for playing wrong notes, not playing pieces the way he wanted, or minor infractions like not shaving. Whenever these clips come into conversation, or if they are posted the comments are usually stuff like, "Boy that guy sure was a bastard", or "What a nasty individual", or things of that nature. But the absolute truth is that people are only listening on the surface to what he was saying. He may not have conveyed it tactfully, but the man was saying something very important, and truthful, and if you dig deep into his words, you hear one thing..Frustration. Buddy was basically telling the men in his band an important thing..He hired them. And he hired them to perform a task his specific way, and give their best in executing that particular task. If someone didn't like it, they were free to leave and do what they want their way, but as long as they were in his band with his name on the marquis, they needed to perform, behave, and look exactly how he wanted them to. He was a man of hard work, and high expectations of performance standards. When someone didn't live up to those standards, it actually broke his heart, because they were not giving what he was giving. You could argue that the profanity was unnecessary but the message to me is crystal clear.
Which leads me to people of the same ilk today. There are folks all around who want to tell you what to do, how to do it, correct you if they think you are wrong, and just plain bitch and moan if you are doing it.Now it's ok to have an opinion about something, and even disagree with the way something is done, but the problem with some people is that they agreed to do something, be a part of something, or collaborate on something without necessarily being the leader of it. They then see that as carte blanche to usurp tasks that aren't even theirs in some effort of control or assertion. What's wrong with this? What's wrong is that the person had ample opportunity in life to perform the particular task, and be a leader, but chose not to. Yet they chastise, confront and disrespect the leader of what they could have led long ago. As I've said before, there are some people who are more afraid of success than failure. They self sabotage themselves, and hide behind the idea that they weren't meant to be successful. Yet they want to tell everyone who will listen just how to do something that they claim they have failed at, or have just never tried to be successful at.
We all have opinions, and that is important, and sometimes those opinions will rub people the wrong way. If you are not rubbing someone the wrong way, then you are what's called a "Pander Bear" going along with everyone on things of belief, in order to not offend anyone. Nobody has any respect for such a thing, and it's really all right to have constructive confrontation once in awhile. But there comes a time when you have to keep your mouth shut because if you want things done the way you want them done, then you have to be proactive and go do it, and not wait for someone to come along so that you can tell them just how wrong they are doing something. Many of us have ambitions, and goals, and some form of leadership skills to a degree. Why not start something, execute something, or be a leader of something that you firmly believe in? For some people it is just way too easy to step into a ready made situation, and critique it, belittle it, or tear it down, as opposed to shutting up and executing the part that they were asked to do.
Before you say "I will do this" really think about things...."Is this the thing you want to do?" Can you be happy doing this?" "Will you be happy taking direction?" "If there is a problem, will you be satisfied to voice your opinion, but not necessarily get your way?" "Do you believe in this?" If the answer is no for any of these questions then don't be a part of that operation, and think about perhaps starting your own, where you can get things done your way.
I have a friend who runs a bar. People come up to him all of the time in the bar with a sentence that starts off, "Ya know what you should do?" They then begin to tell him of changes he should make to his place of business. Before they can finish he says, "Well what do you do in YOUR bar?" They are then speechless, and then confess that they have no place of business..My friend then says, "Well why don't you buy a bar and do that, and then I'll come and see how you do it." That's it in a nutshell. it's ok to have an opinion, but there is a way to not be "Backseat Striving" and tell people what to do, when you have the ability to be a leader yourself, but choose not to be.
This is particularly true in bands, business, households, and a host of other points where a person has an opportunity to lead by example. Now obviously I'm not talking about things such as Governments, or global operations. We all have opinions about those, but not everyone has the means to get within that circle. So we as humans will bitch about the President or something else that we probably can't have a leadership role in, and that's all right too. That's what we as humans do. But I'm talking about the things in life that you have direct control over and can have a direct influence on in a leadership way, and not a backseat chirping way. That is frustrating now, just like it was frustrating to Buddy Rich.
You have the power. Do your thing the way you want,and stop trying to sabotage someone elses operation. Even if you agree to do something, and you become unhappy, just say that, and then leave, but don't Backseat strive, and try to lead a situation when you can't even lead YOUR situation. People will get fed up, and out the door you will go. But the sad part is that these people will be Backseat Striving nomads, and they will be off to the next thing bitching and moaning and sabotaging in some twisted ego driven assertion tour. Good luck when you encounter them. You're going to need to keep your hands on the wheel, as you reach over to push them out the door.
Which leads me to people of the same ilk today. There are folks all around who want to tell you what to do, how to do it, correct you if they think you are wrong, and just plain bitch and moan if you are doing it.Now it's ok to have an opinion about something, and even disagree with the way something is done, but the problem with some people is that they agreed to do something, be a part of something, or collaborate on something without necessarily being the leader of it. They then see that as carte blanche to usurp tasks that aren't even theirs in some effort of control or assertion. What's wrong with this? What's wrong is that the person had ample opportunity in life to perform the particular task, and be a leader, but chose not to. Yet they chastise, confront and disrespect the leader of what they could have led long ago. As I've said before, there are some people who are more afraid of success than failure. They self sabotage themselves, and hide behind the idea that they weren't meant to be successful. Yet they want to tell everyone who will listen just how to do something that they claim they have failed at, or have just never tried to be successful at.
We all have opinions, and that is important, and sometimes those opinions will rub people the wrong way. If you are not rubbing someone the wrong way, then you are what's called a "Pander Bear" going along with everyone on things of belief, in order to not offend anyone. Nobody has any respect for such a thing, and it's really all right to have constructive confrontation once in awhile. But there comes a time when you have to keep your mouth shut because if you want things done the way you want them done, then you have to be proactive and go do it, and not wait for someone to come along so that you can tell them just how wrong they are doing something. Many of us have ambitions, and goals, and some form of leadership skills to a degree. Why not start something, execute something, or be a leader of something that you firmly believe in? For some people it is just way too easy to step into a ready made situation, and critique it, belittle it, or tear it down, as opposed to shutting up and executing the part that they were asked to do.
Before you say "I will do this" really think about things...."Is this the thing you want to do?" Can you be happy doing this?" "Will you be happy taking direction?" "If there is a problem, will you be satisfied to voice your opinion, but not necessarily get your way?" "Do you believe in this?" If the answer is no for any of these questions then don't be a part of that operation, and think about perhaps starting your own, where you can get things done your way.
I have a friend who runs a bar. People come up to him all of the time in the bar with a sentence that starts off, "Ya know what you should do?" They then begin to tell him of changes he should make to his place of business. Before they can finish he says, "Well what do you do in YOUR bar?" They are then speechless, and then confess that they have no place of business..My friend then says, "Well why don't you buy a bar and do that, and then I'll come and see how you do it." That's it in a nutshell. it's ok to have an opinion, but there is a way to not be "Backseat Striving" and tell people what to do, when you have the ability to be a leader yourself, but choose not to be.
This is particularly true in bands, business, households, and a host of other points where a person has an opportunity to lead by example. Now obviously I'm not talking about things such as Governments, or global operations. We all have opinions about those, but not everyone has the means to get within that circle. So we as humans will bitch about the President or something else that we probably can't have a leadership role in, and that's all right too. That's what we as humans do. But I'm talking about the things in life that you have direct control over and can have a direct influence on in a leadership way, and not a backseat chirping way. That is frustrating now, just like it was frustrating to Buddy Rich.
You have the power. Do your thing the way you want,and stop trying to sabotage someone elses operation. Even if you agree to do something, and you become unhappy, just say that, and then leave, but don't Backseat strive, and try to lead a situation when you can't even lead YOUR situation. People will get fed up, and out the door you will go. But the sad part is that these people will be Backseat Striving nomads, and they will be off to the next thing bitching and moaning and sabotaging in some twisted ego driven assertion tour. Good luck when you encounter them. You're going to need to keep your hands on the wheel, as you reach over to push them out the door.
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