When one officially gets categorized as an adult, I liken it to the christening of a ship. There is the actual building process that took place beforehand, the inspection of whether or not it is ready to be ocean bound, and then the actual ceremony that takes place to officially send it off to its journey. During that ceremony words are said to bless the vessel, everyone stands around to admire what a fine sight it is, and imagine just what kind of adventures it will get into. Once the celebratory bottle is broken over the bow, the ship then enters the waters ready to discover just what it can do, and hopefully live up to, or beyond the expectations set for it. For the first part of the journey it can still see the shore, and if something goes wrong, of course it could make a turnaround for tweaking. There comes a point when the ship is not just on the open sea, but far from any shore in any direction, and that's when it really has the freedom and ability to shine. Life is exactly like that, and there comes a point when you look around and discover that you are on the high seas of life. You are still a powerful vessel, with experiences in battles, and storms. No longer a newly christened ship, with a young crew of thoughts, but far from being decommissioned as a floating museum, or relic.
That's about where I am at this stage in my life. I am on the high seas of life still trying to chart out my own undiscovered waters.Oh don't get me wrong. My life is not some fascinating fast paced adventure like 007 or something like that, but right now I feel like I have grown greatly since the last birthday, and growth means heading for uncharted waters, because growth means learning. And when you are learning, it means you are discovering. There is no shortcut to anything of quality, and growth isn't an exception. It takes mistakes, failures, happy events, painful events, finding out what one is good at, along with accepting flaws, and mostly truth. Accepting the truth about ones self is crucial to being able to learn. Over the years, I have accepted many truths about myself. Some I am happy with, and some are ugly, but they are there and because I accept them, I don't have some painful internal strife happening.
With all of the growth and introspection going on inside, those who know me personally and for a long time would probably say that not much has changed in many years as far as my core behavior. I still like a good inappropriate joke, along with great adult deep conversation. I still do my best to treat people the way I would want to be treated, and I sleep very well at night knowing that whatever I attempted, whether I succeeded, or failed, I gave the best effort that I could give. I still believe in the power of dialogue, and wish that more held the same philosophy, because when you really break it down to its essence, the only thing that separates us is words. I still believe in the power of music to heal and bring people together, and try to do my part in that department. Many will say that I am some sort of Music "Nazi' but I know what I like, and don't like and have extremely sometimes harsh views of the music business, and what I see. That has been the case since I was a teen, and remains consistent in my adulthood. money does not drive my ambition at all. It is fulfillment and happiness which you cannot put a price on no matter how hard you try.
Here on the high seas, I can look back and appreciate the things that got me to this point. I have been married twice, and enjoyed that status when I was in it, but I thoroughly enjoy being by myself now to pursue what I want to do whether that involve music, or sitting and reading. I have been through some awful things in life, and yet I made it through, and can hopefully help others that went through such things. From my upbringing to now, I have remained pretty consistent because of the solid rocks that raised me, meaning my Grandmother and Grandfather. One of the saddest days in my life happened this past year, as my Grandmother passed away. The strongest, wisest, and most powerful matriarch that I have ever had the pleasure to know left me. But what she left me with is what I carry with me now. Sense of self, knowledge of people, toughness, tenacity, pride in whatever I do, how I conduct myself, and respect for others. This is what I try to carry with me over the ocean of my life and occasionally, I falter, but I continue to try my damndest to leave some place better than when I found it, and make things better around me. It's what my Grandmother and Grandfather taught me, and I hope to take that philosophy to my grave. So with my Grandmother gone, and one more storm I had to go through, becomes one more test in life to see just what I am made of. I am glad that I am not made of straw, or sticks, but of brick that can withstand the winds of the high seas. Thank you Honey and Grandaddy.
As another birthday arrives, I am once again thankful for everything. The people I know, the people I have loved, the gift that I have been given, the life that I live, and the things that have transpired to make me the continued work in progress that I am currently. there is so much more to do in life, and so much I want to learn, that I will never live long enough to do it all. We never do. But the idea is to do the best you can do, be the best you can be, and let the chips fall where they may. And that's where I am now at this moment on the high seas..Tomorrow never knows on the ocean of being.
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