It is not an easy thing in this world to walk around and feel good about ones self. There are always people who say and do things to take you down a peg for no other reason than they feel they have to. All of us experience doubt about our abilities, our looks, our thoughts on things, and there are always people who capitalize on that simply because they need a boost in their own self esteem that seems to come from tearing others down. They seem to flourish from negative aspects, and revel in confrontations that involve trying to show someone just how smart they are. They will even announce that they are smart, as if to try to solidify this idea into their own mind, while at the same time telling others that they have no clue in life. For people to do this, there is something lacking within themselves that tells them they must divert the attention from their own low self esteem, and put the spotlight on some made up criteria that they put forth to mask one thing: They are in love with themselves, but don't love themselves.
Loving ones self is an important piece of life's puzzle. Once you learn how to love yourself, and yes it is a learned skill, you can go about the day with confidence, and not cockiness. Loving ones self does not mean megalomania. There are too many people who get this confused, the love of themselves is really an "In love" with who they see themselves to be, and not who they are. We as people are flawed, and fragile, and life's events can accentuate those flaws, and also crack the vase of who we are, spilling out all kinds of fears, doubts and questions about self. If you love yourself, you will be able to accept those flaws and try to make them better, or realize that it is part of you. Trying to improve ones self is a crucial part of loving yourself, because you are trying to be the best "you" possible. Not for someone else, or a situation, but because you feel that you deserve the best "you" that you can be. It is the Yin and Yang of our inner emotional works, where respecting who you are, and your differences from other people can help you to appreciate others, and respect them without feeling the xenophobia that too many people feel because they lump people into some hate filled stew, because they are different, or because they have a different perspective on life. Respect is the key word that loving yourself will generate because love is humbling, and loving yourself makes you open to new people, and you will want to see what they think about life because there is the acknowledgement that you don't know it all, so you will try to acquire as much knowledge as possible to improve yourself.
People who love themselves have an inner peace about them. They don't feel the need to announce how smart they are, or thrust their opinions upon anyone that they want to be in conflict with. When asked, they will tell you their opinion, and be more than happy to discuss things in an adult fashion without screaming, or idiocy, and if that person disagrees, then it is just as rewarding to excuse themselves from the conversation if it escalates, because constructive conflicts are good..Arguments are not. Those who love themselves do not have to begin every sentence with "I". It is usually not about them. It is about discovery, and the only way to discover is to listen. Those who love themselves never have to be right all of the time, and will accept the fact that they could be wrong about many things. Life is for growing, and those who love themselves always want to expand that particular horizon. They will also choose to surround themselves with people who respect others, and themselves also, because life is chaotic enough without others to perpetuate more chaos around you.
Those "In love" with themselves are in their eyes, always right, seem to be obsessed with proving people wrong, and are constantly seeking attention by conflict. Yes they will tell you that they love themselves, but in reality, if one loves themselves, there is no need to carry on in such a manner to build up self esteem. They are in love with who they see themselves to be which is not based in reality. That is why you have so many bullies that carry from childhood all the way through adulthood and seem to need to "prove" something to everyone. They will speak loudly so everyone can hear them, and surround themselves with anything that can keep their self esteem afloat, all in an effort to get people to see them the way they see themselves.
Is this a negative post? I don't think so because I am trying to promote the idea of people loving themselves, and then once that happens they can respect others, and judge each individual one on one. Being comfortable in your own skin, and who you are, means that honestly you will be less likely to be a loud mouthed idiot, which of course the world has no shortage of. Hatred of other people, blaming others for failures, and simple things like divisive conversations of opinion, would be curbed if people just loved themselves enough to be comfortable with the fact that not everyone thinks like them. Love and respect yourself, because you are the only thing that you own outright in the world. Do whatever it takes within you to face your flaws, be a good person, and have the Yin and Yang of your two sides live in harmony together. It sometimes will take half of your life to get to this point, but the journey of you is even better than the arrived destination. And once you arrive, you can look in the mirror, and say, "What's not to love?"
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