Just One Day: Why?

When I first joined Facebook, it was more out of necessity than anything else. I was going through a tremendously bad emotional time in my life, and I needed a distraction..An escape if you will because the weight of what was going on in my world was pushing my spirit over a cliff. It was still a fairly new social network, as I had heard about it through friends who wanted me to join. I was only really aware of MySpace, because some friends had pages that contained their bands, or music, but I still hadn't joined anything yet. Sitting around one evening focusing on things that bothered me, I decided to join Facebook. It was quickly overwhelming as everyone who remembers first getting on, can recall getting bombarded with friend requests from folks that you haven't seen or heard from in eons, while of course trying to navigate through the maze of newness that this network was for beginners. It was fun, and confusing all at once, as I was wondering just how these people who I hadn't seen or heard from found me. It seemed like every hour there were new people waiting to be friends on here, and when I would leave and come back, there were even more. Once I started understanding how to negotiate through the page, I started to seek out friends on my own, and was ecstatic to find people that I had been wondering what happen to for years. It actually was incredible, and took my mind squarely off of the huge weight that was on me. Musicians, classmates, old neighbors, all were on here, and it was awesome to come here to have fun, and see what everyone was up to. as the novelty of newness wore off, and after I found my little niche of posting music and writing something for it, being the people observer that I am, really focused on this social network and its impact.

At first it was fun and amusing at what folks used to post. What they were doing at the moment, where they were, funny tirades or jokes that made their way onto the page, some pictures of themselves, and friends, tagging photos of groups of people, and some back and forth banter that was hilarious at times. It was actually a cool place. An escape from the real world for awhile, and that is the way it seemed for everyone. After a hard day of work, people would get on, and connect, and have a little unwind from their day of reality. People seemed to be connecting all over the place, and in my eyes that was a great thing. I remember thinking "What a great way to get rid of some boundaries that we all have". The way I saw it, this social network would revolutionize human interaction. Finally, all of the stereotypes, hatreds, and xenophobic tendencies that people had, would start to be chipped away, because someone in Des Moines Iowa could be connected to someone in Compton, and see that person as a person. I was really excited for the human race in general, because of the potential.

Somewhere, Facebook took an ugly ugly turn, as more people, got on, for much longer stints of time, with the ability to scope Facebook from phones, or anywhere else, and the technology of being able to bring anything onto the site, or any picture or thought someone had , meant that the more time people were on, the more things they felt they needed to say. This fake world of escape seemed to be suddenly infiltrated by the real world sentiments of people. Politics reared its nasty head prompting arguments, and ideological cyber fights. Online cliques started to form as people got into clashes that prompted blocking folks, and coded tirades about some other Facebook individual. Peoples fears, negative outlooks, paranoid rantings, and just plain bitching and moaning incessantly became rampant. I myself managed to get sucked into all of that, as I would participate in political discussions that turned ugly, get into discussions that were tense, and sometimes full of exclamation points, and just plain be engaged in reporting negative aspects of my own life. I have always been someone who is pretty positive, but I could feel myself being drawn into this fake world which for some, became their real world. And I looked back at some of my conversations that I engaged in here, I realized that I was slowly adapting traits that I couldn't stand, such as feeling like I needed to conflict, because person X doesn't get it, feeling that I needed to post that I was pissed off about something, or feeling that I needed to state my opinion to things just because. This was not me at all, so I took a step back, and even considered leaving this entity. I didn't really want to do that just yet, because I made, and remade so many friends here, that it would be a shame. So I decided to just take a step back and see if I could really see just what was happening here. I stopped engaging in political conversations, I halted posting negative aspects of my life, and I just stuck to what I love most which is music, and post that. I wanted my page to look like me again, and  I wanted to throw positivity out into the world again, and help to make Facebook what I thought it was going to be,

Facebook has radically changed, because it is now a jaded and given aspect of the day for many. It has become a psychiatrist for some, ideological bumper sticker for some, source of information about current events for some, Singles bar for still others, and angry forum for ranting about the world for still others. But the one thing that has grown since the time that I first got on, is the negativity. The negativity, and anger that people possess always amazes me, and their intolerance of others in the world, and the inability of some to engage in a constructive conversation rears its ugly head here loud and clear, as the buffer of a keyboard is their fortress of confidence to say any, and everything that comes to mind without thinking, or without fear. Are there positive people here? absolutely, and no one's life is perfect, nor should people feel they need to post goody two shoes statuses always. But the overwhelming fact is that the real world is a nasty, cruel, angry place, and those aspects have been ensconced  firmly within these cyber hallways of Facebook. It is just as bad here as watching the news, sometimes worse, because it is more personal. I have been called names by people who don't even know me, and been "un-friended" and blocked simply because individuals would do that in real life on a whim if they could.

So after taking a step back, and getting very discouraged with what my perception was, I secretly wished that for one day, everyone could just be positive, uplifting, and inspirational to one another. Once again, I believe we are all connected, and now with Facebook, and other networks, it is even more so. But why throw so much negative feelings out. Negativity is like Cancer. Once there, if unchecked, it will metastasize into even more powerful negativity, destroying everything in its path. We all have so much power that we don't realize. The power to heal, encourage, inspire, and yes throw positivity into the universe which is also contagious and can spread. So I decided that I could do one of three things.1)Either just roll my eyes at the negativity, and just keep my end of the cyber world clean, 2)Get off of here, and forget the whole thing, or 3)Try to put something out there that might make it better.
I chose #3. Try to put something out there at the risk of getting my head chopped off by ridicule, and people that may think that I am trying to be the Facebook Gestapo. People may think I am nuts, self righteous, pompous, or arrogant. I am neither. I am just someone who loves people, and ideas. And the idea that I love the most is that we all can get along, and share,  and be positive..Of course not all the time, as I am based in reality, but the simple idea of just one day on here away from negativity, hemming and hawing, finger pointing, whining, and politics is a nice concept as far as I am concerned. Who knows..If people like it, maybe it could happen once a year. But at any rate, I am putting this concept of "Just One Day" out there.

If someone doesn't want to participate, then that is their right, and I don't begrudge them for that. They have their reasons. For the people that do want to participate, please share the event, if you would like, and invite friends to join. I will be there if it is only myself. If no one were to join, I would still do it, and enjoy it. The line in "Hey Jude" says, "The movement you need is on your shoulders". If what is on your shoulders is positive, and full of inspiration, then only good things can come of it. If it is negative, and full of angst...Well you know the rest.
So that is my reason for this event..Just trying to throw some positivity into a troubled world..I hope there isn't anything wrong with that, or asking for help from my fellow human beings.
Thank you to all who took the time to read this, and/or participate on June 1st for Just One Day.
M.A.Perry 3rd

A Lesson In Laughter

During my visit to my Grandparents down in Virginia a few weeks ago, I was once again given an important lesson by my Grandmother, who proved  again two very important things: 1)She's not too old to give a life lesson, and 2)I'm not too old to receive one. I happened to be in the kitchen, when my mother and cousin came in the room looking for a piece of paper, and pen. They saw me and asked how old I was..I told them, and then they exclaimed that my Grandmother was saying a different number than what I was saying, and they wanted to show her the math to prove her wrong. While they were looking, I went in my Grandmother's room and asked her how old she thinks I am..She said the correct number. My mother and cousin did not hear her say the correct answer to me, and were hellbent on showing her the math to something she already correctly stated..They were flustered thinking that the woman was losing it, and for a second I was thinking that also, until she winked at me with a smile. I knew right then that she was having fun with my mother and cousin, and knew exactly how old I was, but even though she was slower moving, and couldn't do as many physical things as she used to, her mind was sharp, and she was enjoying creating chaos, and making everyone except me think that she was forgetful, and losing her faculties. I laughed with her, and left the room, enjoying the chaos myself, as I could hear her arguing with my mother and cousin, who now had a piece of paper for proof of my age. I found it highly amusing that this woman who raised me, still loved to have whatever fun tricking and poking family members any way she could to keep folks on their toes. Nothing more endearing than an 87 year old woman creating mischief.

During the drive home, I thought about that moment, and understood an important lesson that was given me by my Grandmother..Grow older, but have fun, and don't grow old. Too many times we take life so seriously, and can't get out of our own way as we get older, because we forgot what it was like to play. Playing doesn't have to be on a playground, or even physically running and jumping. Playing is understanding that life, as serious as it is, needs moments of relief when silliness, and laughter are needed to break up moments that are heavy, and depressive. Live long enough, and there will be plenty of tears, disappointments, and times where life isn't fun. And as you get older, you are expected to be a serious example to look to, and some of that is true...But there is also the part in life where even as a mature adult, the moment may require laughter, mild chaos of loving trickery, and playfulness, to shake things up, and keep ones mind fresh, and ideas youthful. That is what is needed to make smiles happen, and to remind us that life is to be lived before it's over.

My Grandmother understands this, and continues to joke, and create confusion, just because she can, and enjoys seeing folks scramble a little. The wink told me everything I needed to know and more. Life is fun. That is basically what she was telling me, and has always told me from the time I was a little boy. Growing older is a privilege. You should conduct yourself as an adult, with adult sensibilities, but never ever lose the playfulness that you can convey to others where you can make someone smile, either through a joke, or loving ribbing. This doesn't mean acting like an idiot. Some people get this idea confused with acting like a 20 year old when they are 50. That is not it at all. Having fun with adult sensibilities means still having dignity, respect for others, and abandoning foolish things for clever things. Not running amok like an idiot, still reaching back for youth, but accepting your maturity, and displaying that aspect 3 Dimensionally.

If you can maintain a certain sense of wonder, and playfulness, then the world and all that's in it will never be boring to you. I can't stand to hear someone say that they are bored nowadays with all of the technology available at their disposal..You can drive somewhere, walk somewhere, play some silly video game on your phone, call someone, or even watch TV from almost anywhere you want. Think of how people in 1900 lived. Think you are bored now??? The wonders of the world are all around, and laughter is all around wherever you choose to make it. As we grow older, and life becomes more serious, it is even more important to keep a sense of humor, and playfulness, because nothing is guaranteed. You could easily walk out of your house, and never come back because of something tragic. I personally don't know how people would remember me if that happened to me tomorrow, but I certainly want some of the people to remember me with a smile, and remember incidences where laughter was shared.

I think that my grandmother was trying to do that very thing. Create a memory where we can look back in the future like I did when I was driving, and smile. She had so much fun creating that chaos that I couldn't help but laugh out loud as I write this. Live life  full of love and laughter, and create a little healthy mischief, is what she was saying with that wink and smile to me. And just when I reach a point in life where I think I've got a little wisdom, I realize just how much more there is to get...Lesson learned..Once again from my Grandmother.