Attitude By Attrition: The FML syndrome

There is a pretty funny comedian named Louis C.K. who has a bit in his act about how we here in America all have amazing things going on around us, but we find silly stuff to complain about, just so we can complain. The technology that we enjoy, the lifestyles that we lead compared to what others in the most poverty stricken countries have is monumentally different, and our petty bitch and moan sessions about our everyday amazing crap not making us happy just doesn't wash, and renders us looking shallow and self centered which we here in America are. Even some of the poorest individuals here in this country would be considered gifted by some other country standards. He makes a joke about someone in another country stating their  real problem of the day as being, "Oh shit, they're cutting off all of our heads today.." Now I don't mean to once again chastise Americans, because I think that for the most part we are a caring people with drive and determination, who are fortunate to live in a great country. But Americans are often not based in reality as far as just what real problems exist within the world, and how their perceived angst compared to real human struggle makes them seem childish and petty. Hence my condemnation of the FML syndrome..

For those who don't know, FML  is an abbreviation for "F#&ck my life"..Often said, abbreviated in texts, or written somewhere by someone that feels that life is somehow unforgiving, and harsh to the point where they are cursed for bad things to happen to them. Often people give in to this when bad things in a row are presented, and they basically have decided that some higher power has decided that they will not be happy, and a black cloud shall be presented over their being for extended periods of time. Dramatic huh? So the white flag exclamation tends to be "FML". People tend to be very liberal with this exclamation using it for mundane low valleys of life such as a car breaking down, or personal problems often times manufactured by themselves. Some people can't get out of their own way, and therefore "FML" for this bad thing that happened because of their own doing. Even if it isn't of their own doing, they are proclaiming that their life sucks, and announcing it to everyone seems to validate their feelings to everyone that their life sucks. It is the high priest exclamation of "Please make my bad luck stop", or "I am overwhelmed by everything thrown at me"

Now I am a realistic person and not harsh beyond reason. I don't expect everyone to be in some cheery positive mood all of the time, because that is not how life works. Nor am I immune to bad breaks in life, and crappy fortune, where I have felt like things were slowly being stacked against me. I get that, and I haven't forgotten how it feels. It feels like crap. I have been depressed far beyond my wildest imagination during certain life altering times in my existence, and it is a hard hole to get out of. Staying positive was a monumental effort, and the ever increasing notion in my vision that my life was in a wreck, and I couldn't take any more, was always acting as a roadblock to my progress. That feeling was very dangerous.. It was an ugly lonely crappy feeling of depression, and I was in bad shape, but never once did I use that phrase because at least no one was coming to cut my head off. I had clean water to drink, a place to sleep, and I was not infested with parasites. Light years ahead of some folks in other countries. There were wonderful things happening all around me,But I couldn't see them through my own fog of pain.  But when I finally woke up, I started to see them, and it was an epiphany. I felt a burst of new energy that I used to my advantage. And I developed a positive attitude through attrition. Everything else didn't matter, and what I was left with was re discovering what I had, and not what I wanted. And what I had, would pull me out, and make me appreciate life even more.

Perspective is a funny thing. When your perspective is negative it is two fold. How it really is, and how you want people to see it as. Most people want attention in some form, so by making things actually appear worse than they are, they can be validated by others, and then feel like they can be justified in complaining. If things weren't that awful, there would be jokers like me telling them to man up, and face it. So the negativity creates more negativity just by desire to be recognized. I am not telling people not to complain every now and then, but some people thrive on it, make it drawn out, and squeeze every bit of sympathy they can for the sake of attention. They complain without perspective to anyone who will listen because they can't fathom anybody having more or worse problems than them at the moment. We all need the outlet of acknowledgement by others of our suffering, and the support system that can sometimes generate to help. I am with that 100%. What I am railing about is the prolonged "woe is me, I am doomed" cry that the "FML"attitude seems to pull from people. There are amazing things that are going on, and most people spout that term from some facebook page, or in a text, which indicates that they at least have a computer, or phone that is a computer, so life ain't THAT horrible if one has those. And life is certainly miles better than people who have to worry about parasites, clean drinking water, or someone coming to cut off their head.

So when someone uses the term, "FML" I really have to shake my head and wonder if they truly see how amazing everything is around them in this country, or are they caught up within the vines of "I hate my own shadow, and nobody else has it worse than me.." Because believe it or not, somebody in an impoverished country does. And although those people have every right to say "FML", they usually don't. They celebrate what they have, because they know the value of themselves and every breath they get to take. And not the price of some I Phone that gives them a hard time to read this post. They truly have developed an "attitude by attrition". "FML" won' come into their vocabulary. because nothing else truly matters....Except life.