May I Have Your Attention Please: Drama Kings and Queens

 "When you can do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world" ~George Washington Carver

The quote above is to point out the fact that to best receive general attention one should probably decide to excel and do something that requires thought, precision, ingenuity, or something that merits the accolades of ones peers, or strangers. Out of all of the creatures on the Earth from the giant Blue Whale in the ocean, and the Golden Eagle in the skies, and to the lowest insect under a turned over rock, only human beings have the ability AND desire to manufacture, and magnify problems. Besides the drama associated with theater or television, "Drama" in the dictionary also has a definition of "An exciting or unexpected series of events or circumstances". In the world of human beings these events are magnified and manufactured to the extent where the person that these events are happening to become the center of an "attention fest" benefit aimed at those willing to donate to the cause. With all of the problems one can face during this journey of life that we all have the good fortune to be on, the most difficult involve introspection, action, and responsibility to correct and negotiate through. Most of that negotiation may come with failure, recognition of shortcomings, and a determination to repeat a process to get to success. Inevitable things such as death of loved ones, personal tragedies of love and loss, or unexpected turns in life, lead us down paths to see just where we stand with perseverance, and gauge our own intestinal fortitude. Throughout these ordeals we all need friends, counselors, and a host of outside support to help us make these ordeals just a little easier to bear. The last thing anyone wants in life is more added manufactured ordeals on top of what life deals. Anyone except "Drama Kings and Queens".

What do they do? The "Drama King or Queen" is constantly watching the world that they are in, and they just can't help but be somewhat envious of where attention is focused. Whether it be in their immediate circle of friends and associates, or the bigger world that exists beyond their center of activities, they feel completely voiceless, and devoid of any form of influence outside of their  immediate realm of responsibility. In other words, they feel invisible, or like a black and white TV in a showroom of hi definition sets. They have an attention deficit, and not coming from them, but going to them, and they need it satisfied constantly. We as human beings need to feel validated, respected, and occasionally need to feel like we matter in the lives of others. Attention is what we desire, because it is nice to be noticed, and have a connection, as we are not solitary creatures by nature. Even a person who feels that they do not need attention at least requires some modicum of contact that validates their existence. And most people require that validation for accomplishment, something extraordinary about them, or even sadness that they experience, but then there are the situations of attention seeking created by "Drama Kings and Queens". Most times the term "Drama Queen" insinuates a picture of only women being emotional, and unreasonable as they raise the roof in a fit of arm waving, and hysteria over something quite small in the scheme of things, but there are men who are just as calculating, and demanding and are even more dramatic in their ability to direct attention to themselves.In fact men are even more dramatic when in this mode because men have inside them a sort of bullying aspect, so they will force guilt upon those that don't adhere to the attention program, and bully their way into someone's radar for crumbs of "Look at me" bread. In both sexes, it is all about them, and the chaos that they sometimes create, heighten, or highlight to make themselves appear to be wronged, victimized, unfortunate, or just inserting  themselves into negative events in general.

How are they spotted? The "kings and Queens" have an extremely hard time sticking to the script at hand. No matter what situation in life that occurs that is slightly an inconvenience, it is a major traumatic experience for them, and they must announce that in such a way that it elicits attention, sympathy, and compliments from all who can possibly address the situation. It is all about them, and the white hot spotlight, so that they can do their Vaudeville act of "Woe is me" acts 5 & 6 to all who will listen. Even when the situation is not about them, and about someone else, they will flip things around to make it seem like they have had something similar, and that it was a much more significant ordeal. Even in whatever positive words that they utter, there is some form of negativity that pertains to their life, that involves a reassurance from others that they are important, and that they matter, of course feeding the ego in the process, and receiving the attention so needed to help them to continue to the next mini crisis.Whether it's attention not given to them when they were younger, or something that they are not receiving or lacking in their lives as an adult, the King and Queen need to feel the center of attention without really perceiving to have those needs to other people. It is trickery at its finest, and a huge effort of work for the royalty to negotiate through, but the goal of attention is so robust, that it's extremely important for them to achieve it. Most times this goal isn't malicious at all. It's a deep seeded need for respect, and validation rooted in some form of envy of others or a situation. The most bizarre aspect of them is that secretly they are almost validated when something major does happen that demands they be the center of attention. The circumstance becomes a "See I told you so" moment that makes all other incidents where someone stated that they were being dramatic, null and void. Social media has made the king and queen more prominent than ever because they have access to all avenues of attention seeking. From Facebook, to all sorts of other media outlets where one gets to vent, the drama royalty get their moments of attention feeding frenzy, by engaging different people in different situations. Social media is the real catalyst for building up these folks because more drama brings more reactions, which brings more attention, which is the whole point of the exercise. Making mountains out of mole hills is standard operating procedure for these individuals, and they sometimes will even ask for advice about a "problem" in their lives that they somehow have no idea how to solve. They will never take the advice, because they don't really need it. They already know what needs to be done. It's not about getting sound advice, it's about getting attention, and if looking weak and indecisive gets attention, then so be it.

What to do about them? We all have drama kings and queens in our life, whether they be friends, relatives, co workers, or even sometimes significant others. For the most part, they are harmless individuals who create a swirl of controversy that gets on the nerves of the folks nearest to them. They sometimes make others walk on eggshells around them, as to not "Poke the bear" and provoke any fuel for their attention grabbing tactics. Other times this doesn't matter as they will find something to latch onto for attention purposes. Since they are in our lives, most times we spend energy reigning them in because we actually care about them, and know that there is some underlying factor that makes them act the way they do. They can be royal pains, and time consuming, and high maintenance, but in the end, most of them just need people around them to notice them, and feel cared about, and any insecurities and feeling of low self esteem that they have, are only the same ones that all of us deep down inside have, but only theirs are more magnified. Human beings are so frail, and some are more fragile than others, and all the kings and queens need most times is a little reassurance, or kick in the pants to help them through either their insecurities, or their inability to deal with what comes their way in a productive manner. Try your best to roll your eyes, and be some sort of devil's advocate for them, even though it is exhausting, and can drag you away from your own agenda. If you care about them, it should make some sort of difference, and maybe they will receive enough attention where they may be able to guide themselves, or pay it forward. Then in some circumstances, maybe this tactic won't work, but if you want them to not be a royal pain in the ass to you, your other option is to back away, and disengage yourself, because most people don't want dramatic folks around stirring up things. But the only thing that creates, is a void where they will look for someone else  to vent and help them through something, and give them attention. It may be in your best interest to keep them close to the vest, so that you can curb things as they happen, tiring as that may be. So why not just let it be you, if you are a good friend, family member, or significant other. We are here to try and help one another if we can, and  pull up someone who wants to help themselves also. We should once in awhile back up and remember that aspect of life, and realize that somewhere along the line, we are going to have some sort of drama, and need someone to vent to, and someone might consider us a tad dramatic during the course of those events. In those moments, we will want someone to pay attention to us, and listen, and perhaps even give us a boot in the ass a little to snap us out of it. Hopefully we won't have to wish that someone is available to do so.
 Because if we are alone, there is nothing dramatic about being the king or queen of wishful thinking.

Greed: The Animal That Possesses

In the famous speech from the movie "Wall Street", the character Gordon Gekko played brilliantly by Michael Douglas, made a compelling argument that "Greed for lack of a better word, is good." The character insinuated that greed of men who were at the vanguard of the industrial revolution were responsible for building America into the power that it became. Now that particular aspect may hold some water, because if you look at any successful empire in history, it was because of the initial torch of greed that lit the way for conquest, if conquest is what one appreciates. Greed is one of the sins that brings human beings completely lower than any other species that has ever existed on earth. Man has never been satisfied, and  has never had enough on his plate, so at the cost of lives, cultures, nature, ethics, and sanity, and even the well being of his planet, man has been a slave to the inner animal of greed. We are taught subliminally at a very young age to be greedy. More toys equates to more happiness. For kids who used to play board games years ago, most times, you had to accumulate something in order to win. And for some time now television commercials aimed at young minds for the sake of consumerism tell them that they must get this, own that, and accumulate things in order for their life to have meaning. It is insinuated in school, and later in life that success equates to having more money, so that you can have more things. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the desire to have things, but this line of thinking over time often manifests itself into greed, because desire is just one leap away from greed where material things are concerned. Greed is the desire to acquire, possess, and hoard "things", and that is just what human beings have been doing for their time here on earth. If the history of Earth could be put in clock terms, man has been here probably close to a second. But in that very miniscule span of time, greed has been at the center of our hearts and minds, driving human beings to "get" something, even just for the act of getting in itself, and not necessarily for self preservation, and has done more damage in man's time on earth than any other trait that we have inside.

Greed is some wild animal that can't be tamed or stopped once it realizes how easily its prey can be taken over, and eaten. This is exactly how desire morphs into greed. In the human mind, once something has been gotten, we are content, but we have been programed to think that someone or something is after our contentment. Therefore in order to solve that, we must have more of what has made us content. Now our rational mind knows that this isn't true, but the subconscious mind is hard at work, and that's where greed has set up an office for it to report to. "Bigger, Better, and More" are greed's triumvirate Father, Son and Holy Ghost entities that people worship and obsess over, making them do things completely unethical, and unreasonable for the sake of getting and having. In fact ethical behavior and greed, usually are in direct contradiction with one another, because ethics demands judgment and restraint, and greed demands to run rampant and be visceral. I am not saying that all who exhibit signs of greed are evil, but greed often puts quite rational people in a position of trying to acquire things to please their ego, or accumulate things for recreation, or possession wrapped in the guise of "the pursuit of happiness". Greed has a way of justifying itself, and making others feel guilty for questioning motives. The motive is none other than the greed itself, because it burns in people. The phrase "Because you can doesn't mean you should" never comes to mind for one possessed by greed. "I can, and will" is the only phrase worth articulating.

 Is greed good? People will argue with me, and state that this country was in fact built by greed, but I am sure that the Native Americans would beg to differ that as a good thing. This country was actually built by desire, but but greed came quickly enough disguised as an idea of "destiny". Individual greed is bad enough, but when put within a collective mindset of a group of people,or an entity in power, it becomes dangerous, and sometimes catastrophic for those on the other end.Tell the richest person in the world that there is hidden treasure somewhere, and watch the sparks fly as they destroy everything trying to run to it. Greed has started wars, made people incredibly wealthy while making others impoverished, and has been the central cause for murder, exploitation, enslavement of other people, and a host of nefarious things that have disastrous results. Greed doesn't have to initially have these things in mind at the forefront, but as more fuel is needed to feed the animal, the more ethics fade into the background, causing extreme lapses of remorse for actions, and ability to curtail the urges for more of what makes imaginary comfort, and happiness. Happiness is exactly what greed replaces during its onslaught. When people place their trust into man made acquisitions, the result can only a never ending search for fulfillment resulting in the need for more of something. Power, money, items that can be purchased with money, land, and other things that can be easily put in the category of "stuff" are what greed goes after purely for the satisfaction of the host. A husband and wife with four cars? Why not make it five, because they can. A man worth 12 million dollars? He'll call his attorneys to arrange making some acquisition to make it 13. Some material that can make money discovered in a tropical jungle? Get rid of the indigenous people, clear out all of the trees, and let's make some dough. Screw people, screw environments, screw everything, because there's gold in them thar hills, and we are gonna get rich. And what greed whispers in the ear of its host is "This is mine, and let someone else get theirs, but theirs is nowhere near yours." God help anyone getting near yours.

Greed finds something, anything to mine. And greed will drive someone to mine it over and over until all of the riches, and resources are taken from whatever it is being mined, and there is nothing left, destroying exactly what sustained it for some time. Desire is a great thing, and the desire to want the things that one truly needs is important for survival. That is the instinct that we all should possess. But greed trumps that, and once what one needs is fulfilled, it will continue to fuel a want. Not a want, but a burning white hot energy for conquest and possession. A want for excess, and anything else just because it's there to be taken, and just because someone isn't clever enough or strong enough to take it. The human race will eventually destroy itself and its environment all because of greed within the hands of the powerful, and if technology ever allows us to leave this planet, we will reproduce our greed elsewhere, of course causing the normal human chaos of competition for having, while destroying something else in the process.

Individual greed, corporate greed,  governmental greed,etc are all tied in together, and symptomatic of man's inability to just take exactly what he needs to survive. That is precisely why the gap between the rich, the poor exist, exactly why one needs to protect their belongings from thieves, and exactly why wars are started, and lands taken over. Somewhere, someone wants something that they just don't need, but the animal of greed dictates otherwise. The animal in the mine reminds us just how destructive, how unhappy, and how disrespectful of everything man is. Man is not harmonious with anything. The greed within us all  makes us want to take over, dominate, and possess, and when all is raped pillaged, or taken, look elsewhere for satisfaction.
 Greed is discord, and hopefully one can avoid being possessed by the animal. You can have a wonderful life with desire. Desire to do well, and be the best you can be. Desire to leave a footprint in the world that is positive. Desire to leave others with knowledge, and receive knowledge from others. And particularly, a desire to reject an idea that happiness is aligned with man made items such as money, property, and material that you will eventually feel an urge to get more of. If one has these ideals, then one will raise children to believe that the richest individuals are the ones who  have the best clarity about what's really important. A smile, a family, friends, being alive, and healthy to experience nature and the arts, and appreciation, and empathy for your fellow human beings in the world. That is being rich, and should you feel that way, you will only take what you need, and leave the rest for others. When I daydream, that philosophy is what I wish for everyone, and I imagine the world it would be if that were the case.
.But maybe I'm just being greedy.