"When you can do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world" ~George Washington Carver
The quote above is to point out the fact that to best receive general attention one should probably decide to excel and do something that requires thought, precision, ingenuity, or something that merits the accolades of ones peers, or strangers. Out of all of the creatures on the Earth from the giant Blue Whale in the ocean, and the Golden Eagle in the skies, and to the lowest insect under a turned over rock, only human beings have the ability AND desire to manufacture, and magnify problems. Besides the drama associated with theater or television, "Drama" in the dictionary also has a definition of "An exciting or unexpected series of events or circumstances". In the world of human beings these events are magnified and manufactured to the extent where the person that these events are happening to become the center of an "attention fest" benefit aimed at those willing to donate to the cause. With all of the problems one can face during this journey of life that we all have the good fortune to be on, the most difficult involve introspection, action, and responsibility to correct and negotiate through. Most of that negotiation may come with failure, recognition of shortcomings, and a determination to repeat a process to get to success. Inevitable things such as death of loved ones, personal tragedies of love and loss, or unexpected turns in life, lead us down paths to see just where we stand with perseverance, and gauge our own intestinal fortitude. Throughout these ordeals we all need friends, counselors, and a host of outside support to help us make these ordeals just a little easier to bear. The last thing anyone wants in life is more added manufactured ordeals on top of what life deals. Anyone except "Drama Kings and Queens".
What do they do? The "Drama King or Queen" is constantly watching the world that they are in, and they just can't help but be somewhat envious of where attention is focused. Whether it be in their immediate circle of friends and associates, or the bigger world that exists beyond their center of activities, they feel completely voiceless, and devoid of any form of influence outside of their immediate realm of responsibility. In other words, they feel invisible, or like a black and white TV in a showroom of hi definition sets. They have an attention deficit, and not coming from them, but going to them, and they need it satisfied constantly. We as human beings need to feel validated, respected, and occasionally need to feel like we matter in the lives of others. Attention is what we desire, because it is nice to be noticed, and have a connection, as we are not solitary creatures by nature. Even a person who feels that they do not need attention at least requires some modicum of contact that validates their existence. And most people require that validation for accomplishment, something extraordinary about them, or even sadness that they experience, but then there are the situations of attention seeking created by "Drama Kings and Queens". Most times the term "Drama Queen" insinuates a picture of only women being emotional, and unreasonable as they raise the roof in a fit of arm waving, and hysteria over something quite small in the scheme of things, but there are men who are just as calculating, and demanding and are even more dramatic in their ability to direct attention to themselves.In fact men are even more dramatic when in this mode because men have inside them a sort of bullying aspect, so they will force guilt upon those that don't adhere to the attention program, and bully their way into someone's radar for crumbs of "Look at me" bread. In both sexes, it is all about them, and the chaos that they sometimes create, heighten, or highlight to make themselves appear to be wronged, victimized, unfortunate, or just inserting themselves into negative events in general.
How are they spotted? The "kings and Queens" have an extremely hard time sticking to the script at hand. No matter what situation in life that occurs that is slightly an inconvenience, it is a major traumatic experience for them, and they must announce that in such a way that it elicits attention, sympathy, and compliments from all who can possibly address the situation. It is all about them, and the white hot spotlight, so that they can do their Vaudeville act of "Woe is me" acts 5 & 6 to all who will listen. Even when the situation is not about them, and about someone else, they will flip things around to make it seem like they have had something similar, and that it was a much more significant ordeal. Even in whatever positive words that they utter, there is some form of negativity that pertains to their life, that involves a reassurance from others that they are important, and that they matter, of course feeding the ego in the process, and receiving the attention so needed to help them to continue to the next mini crisis.Whether it's attention not given to them when they were younger, or something that they are not receiving or lacking in their lives as an adult, the King and Queen need to feel the center of attention without really perceiving to have those needs to other people. It is trickery at its finest, and a huge effort of work for the royalty to negotiate through, but the goal of attention is so robust, that it's extremely important for them to achieve it. Most times this goal isn't malicious at all. It's a deep seeded need for respect, and validation rooted in some form of envy of others or a situation. The most bizarre aspect of them is that secretly they are almost validated when something major does happen that demands they be the center of attention. The circumstance becomes a "See I told you so" moment that makes all other incidents where someone stated that they were being dramatic, null and void. Social media has made the king and queen more prominent than ever because they have access to all avenues of attention seeking. From Facebook, to all sorts of other media outlets where one gets to vent, the drama royalty get their moments of attention feeding frenzy, by engaging different people in different situations. Social media is the real catalyst for building up these folks because more drama brings more reactions, which brings more attention, which is the whole point of the exercise. Making mountains out of mole hills is standard operating procedure for these individuals, and they sometimes will even ask for advice about a "problem" in their lives that they somehow have no idea how to solve. They will never take the advice, because they don't really need it. They already know what needs to be done. It's not about getting sound advice, it's about getting attention, and if looking weak and indecisive gets attention, then so be it.
What to do about them? We all have drama kings and queens in our life, whether they be friends, relatives, co workers, or even sometimes significant others. For the most part, they are harmless individuals who create a swirl of controversy that gets on the nerves of the folks nearest to them. They sometimes make others walk on eggshells around them, as to not "Poke the bear" and provoke any fuel for their attention grabbing tactics. Other times this doesn't matter as they will find something to latch onto for attention purposes. Since they are in our lives, most times we spend energy reigning them in because we actually care about them, and know that there is some underlying factor that makes them act the way they do. They can be royal pains, and time consuming, and high maintenance, but in the end, most of them just need people around them to notice them, and feel cared about, and any insecurities and feeling of low self esteem that they have, are only the same ones that all of us deep down inside have, but only theirs are more magnified. Human beings are so frail, and some are more fragile than others, and all the kings and queens need most times is a little reassurance, or kick in the pants to help them through either their insecurities, or their inability to deal with what comes their way in a productive manner. Try your best to roll your eyes, and be some sort of devil's advocate for them, even though it is exhausting, and can drag you away from your own agenda. If you care about them, it should make some sort of difference, and maybe they will receive enough attention where they may be able to guide themselves, or pay it forward. Then in some circumstances, maybe this tactic won't work, but if you want them to not be a royal pain in the ass to you, your other option is to back away, and disengage yourself, because most people don't want dramatic folks around stirring up things. But the only thing that creates, is a void where they will look for someone else to vent and help them through something, and give them attention. It may be in your best interest to keep them close to the vest, so that you can curb things as they happen, tiring as that may be. So why not just let it be you, if you are a good friend, family member, or significant other. We are here to try and help one another if we can, and pull up someone who wants to help themselves also. We should once in awhile back up and remember that aspect of life, and realize that somewhere along the line, we are going to have some sort of drama, and need someone to vent to, and someone might consider us a tad dramatic during the course of those events. In those moments, we will want someone to pay attention to us, and listen, and perhaps even give us a boot in the ass a little to snap us out of it. Hopefully we won't have to wish that someone is available to do so.
Because if we are alone, there is nothing dramatic about being the king or queen of wishful thinking.
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