Earlier this week, I wrote of my nice experience with youth who were at risk, and needed some direction. There were some amazing young people who were a part of the function I was involved in who just needed someone to believe in them. They just needed a chance to shine and win some confidence for themselves. They were respectful, determined, and supportive of one another, as they identified with each others' struggle to find an identity for themselves. That is the happy side of the coin, because those kids can start to believe in themselves and their own importance, and they also had supportive adults in the fold taking an interest in their endeavors to be productive members of society.
Later in the week a friend told me of an experience talking with an older gentleman at a beach walk. They were having a pleasant conversation as the gentleman prepared for his daily walk. He was described as very pleasant, polite, and just a joy to converse with. As they were talking some young man in a car pulled up beside them where they were parked and proceeded to blast his music as loud and as distorted as any human ear should be able to tolerate. The gentleman politely said to the young man that he was in the middle of a conversation and couldn't hear, so could he please turn the music down somewhat. The young man (And I use that term loosely) told the older gentleman to go F himself. The man then shrugged his shoulders in dismay, and proceeded to go for his walk.
That incident is symptomatic of some of today's youth. They have zero respect for anyone. When I was younger, it would have never occurred to me to speak to an elder in such a manner, If found out that I did, I would probably just now be able to eat solid foods. The point is that every generation has disrespectful kids to an extent but right now it is at the absolute peak of disgust because of some particularly important reasons in my opinion.
Plain and simple for me reason number one, is that there were ass whippings when I was growing up. There was a discipline system that informed me that there would be consequences to my actions. Some kids today are given these wonderful time outs, or they are told that they can't have their I pad for a couple of days. What is the consequence there? I was told on the other hand that I would be able to see the future because I would be knocked into tomorrow. This is not abuse..There is a distinct difference. And parents are sometimes parenting with one hand tied behind their back. Kids threaten to call authorities if disciplined. I would have been given the phone so that the authorities could hear my ass getting whipped. Kids will push boundaries, and they need to know that when overstepping their bounds their are serious consequences. They will respect and love in the process, they will ultimately understand codes of behavior that they will carry with them as they deal with folks for the rest of their lives. They will respect others, they will be responsible adults who have innate ethics of conduct and work, and they will not tolerate garbage because they understand just what chaos out of hand situations could bring.
Another factor, and I firmly believe this, is the message that these idiotic reality shows send to kids subliminally. These shows tell them that if they befriend someone, stab them in the back, lie, cheat, become some out of control character, and swear all over creation, then they will win "The prize". Whether that prize be monetary, or notoriety, isn't important to them. They are led to believe that the more outrageous the conduct, the better. They believe that they are watching reality, but in fact they are numb to it, and have no concept on how to conduct themselves with restraint, and have respect for others around.They have no clues as to how the real world operate, because they live in a fantasy of outrageous behavior with no consequences. Now not every young person is targeted in this rant, but quite a few who have no strong minded adults or discipline to shape them, fall for the stupidity and influence of these idiotic shows. Yes we had idiotic shows in my day, but they were not calling themselves "A realistic day in the life of.." They were harmless unrealistic "unrealisms" (Not a word, but you get the message)
What happens between these two worlds of non discipline and fantasy makes some kids grow up believing that they can do whatever they want and say whatever they please because no one will discipline them, and not only that, they will get recognized. They then grow up to be the most self centered disrespectful, obnoxious adults possible because they were not shown how to exist cooperatively within society. It becomes all about them, and what they want, and how the world can give them something. And they grow up to be the young idiot in the car who told a nice elderly gentleman to F himself.
What would have been nice would have been for that older gentleman to have been a veteran of a war who fought for this idiot's freedom. It would have been a wonderful story if the gentleman yanked that punk out of the car, and beat the snot out of him while giving him a lecture on respect. I would have gladly posted pictures of that on Facebook. Sadly that did not happen, as the gentleman just shrugged his shoulders and walked off. That punk needs his ass kicked, and probably should have gotten his ass whipped years ago which is part of the problem. Folks will argue with me on the problems of some youth, and there are valid points in all arguments I'm sure.
One thing is certain as I observe some of the behavior of youth..There are good kids, and there are bad kids just like always..The bad kids keep getting worse..And the phrase "Kids will be kids" just doesn't apply anymore. Why? Because it is beginning to be hard to tell where the kid ends, and where the adult begins.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
Kid Gloves: Young voices, young choices
I had the opportunity this past weekend to be involved with a talent contest for "at risk" youth. Youth who live their lives around bad influences, and bad choices that they either get sucked into, or have to steer themselves away from. These kids have seen things, and been around things that no kids should have to fight against, but there they are. Because of some good concerned people who put together great programs like the one that sponsored this event, these kids may be able to look at alternatives to the path that their lives can take. Many of these kids are very smart, but shy away from books and education because they have been mistakenly led to believe that being smart is not cool. Many have raw talent in the arts, but have had no way of expressing or cultivating that talent to the fullest, or no one to encourage them to do so.
I remember being a kid first learning how to play music, and realizing that I had a knack for music, but no way to be in front of folks. I had to wait until I was 17 or 18 to go to open mic nights to see what playing in front of folks was all about. But then again, I knew what I wanted. The world is a much different place than when I was a teenager. There was and always will be bad influences all around youth and bad things that they can get into that distracts them, but this day and age is much more dangerous, and much more information based, so kids can be distracted by tons of things that are no good for them on many different levels. When a kid finds out that he or she is good at something, often times especially in urban areas where there is bad influence, they never can dial into that talent to see if there really is something. That is where the community comes into play, and takes the ball like this particular community did, and says to these kids that education is a great thing, and if you have talent, then let's see what you've got.
It was a pleasure to see these kids who got the opportunity to get up on that stage to be a contestant. Many were nervous, as it was their first time onstage in front of folks trying to perform what they had perfected in their rooms. There were musicians, poetry reading, cultural dances, rappers, and singers, all trying to find their way in life, and all doing their best to "take it to the stage". The encouragement and support from the other kids and folks in the crowd was heartwarming as some kids forgot words, but were cheered and encouraged to shouts of "That's all right!" and "You can do it!" Something like that can change a young person's life, and they can say to themselves, "I'm staying away from all of this crap..I want to do this stuff instead." And if just one kid says that, and pursues education, or works on a craft, then there is one less kid to be a statistic.
Many kids don't have a venue such as that, and it's a shame because that is a valuable tool for community improvement, and betterment of a kid's outlook on life. If a young person sees the value of hard work on the part of not only others, but themselves, and sees the rewards also, then isn't that what it is all about? A way to reach back and give kids that really don't have a lot in life some hope. Hope that they are allowed to have dreams and be what they want, and can achieve things. Also hope that somebody cares about them, and what they may have to offer. And to many people in general that is the most important thing you can have. Hope. Because as the saying goes, "The most dangerous man in the world is one who has nothing to lose". Having hope assures the possibility of being able to dream. Dreaming enables action to achieve it, and someone achieving their dream means that the world becomes a better place, because that person will want to show everyone how they achieved their dream. And to kids who have a choice of drugs and crime, or believing in themselves so they don't take that route, it is imperative that they have an opportunity to shine. The opportunity to feel important and respected, and feel like they are special. The opportunity to feel that they are just a good as everyone else.
I may not have done much there at this event on the surface. I talked to some kids, I was the host at the podium announcing contestants, and I had the opportunity to play some songs with Solistic for them. But I was very cognizant in how I carried myself, and what I said, and how I said things because like it or not, kids watch very closely, and they are influenced very easily. I wanted to be a positive role model even if I said nothing to them, because Unbeknownst to me, I could change a life somehow, just as everyone out there reading this could. The greatest feeling that I could possibly have in the future is to be approached later in life by an adult who says that he/she saw me when they were a kid, and I was an influence in them pursuing their dreams, and how they conducted themselves. That would make my year. So all of the young voices that I had a chance to watch this past weekend, if you read this somewhere..Keep on keeping on! You matter, and you can do or be anything you want. You have choices to make. The hard one is to do the right thing..But the hard one is way more rewarding than you can ever imagine....Because the winner is you.
I remember being a kid first learning how to play music, and realizing that I had a knack for music, but no way to be in front of folks. I had to wait until I was 17 or 18 to go to open mic nights to see what playing in front of folks was all about. But then again, I knew what I wanted. The world is a much different place than when I was a teenager. There was and always will be bad influences all around youth and bad things that they can get into that distracts them, but this day and age is much more dangerous, and much more information based, so kids can be distracted by tons of things that are no good for them on many different levels. When a kid finds out that he or she is good at something, often times especially in urban areas where there is bad influence, they never can dial into that talent to see if there really is something. That is where the community comes into play, and takes the ball like this particular community did, and says to these kids that education is a great thing, and if you have talent, then let's see what you've got.
It was a pleasure to see these kids who got the opportunity to get up on that stage to be a contestant. Many were nervous, as it was their first time onstage in front of folks trying to perform what they had perfected in their rooms. There were musicians, poetry reading, cultural dances, rappers, and singers, all trying to find their way in life, and all doing their best to "take it to the stage". The encouragement and support from the other kids and folks in the crowd was heartwarming as some kids forgot words, but were cheered and encouraged to shouts of "That's all right!" and "You can do it!" Something like that can change a young person's life, and they can say to themselves, "I'm staying away from all of this crap..I want to do this stuff instead." And if just one kid says that, and pursues education, or works on a craft, then there is one less kid to be a statistic.
Many kids don't have a venue such as that, and it's a shame because that is a valuable tool for community improvement, and betterment of a kid's outlook on life. If a young person sees the value of hard work on the part of not only others, but themselves, and sees the rewards also, then isn't that what it is all about? A way to reach back and give kids that really don't have a lot in life some hope. Hope that they are allowed to have dreams and be what they want, and can achieve things. Also hope that somebody cares about them, and what they may have to offer. And to many people in general that is the most important thing you can have. Hope. Because as the saying goes, "The most dangerous man in the world is one who has nothing to lose". Having hope assures the possibility of being able to dream. Dreaming enables action to achieve it, and someone achieving their dream means that the world becomes a better place, because that person will want to show everyone how they achieved their dream. And to kids who have a choice of drugs and crime, or believing in themselves so they don't take that route, it is imperative that they have an opportunity to shine. The opportunity to feel important and respected, and feel like they are special. The opportunity to feel that they are just a good as everyone else.
I may not have done much there at this event on the surface. I talked to some kids, I was the host at the podium announcing contestants, and I had the opportunity to play some songs with Solistic for them. But I was very cognizant in how I carried myself, and what I said, and how I said things because like it or not, kids watch very closely, and they are influenced very easily. I wanted to be a positive role model even if I said nothing to them, because Unbeknownst to me, I could change a life somehow, just as everyone out there reading this could. The greatest feeling that I could possibly have in the future is to be approached later in life by an adult who says that he/she saw me when they were a kid, and I was an influence in them pursuing their dreams, and how they conducted themselves. That would make my year. So all of the young voices that I had a chance to watch this past weekend, if you read this somewhere..Keep on keeping on! You matter, and you can do or be anything you want. You have choices to make. The hard one is to do the right thing..But the hard one is way more rewarding than you can ever imagine....Because the winner is you.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Character Factor: Learning the language of vinegar
Everyone knows of the saying, "You get more bees with honey than with vinegar". And for the most part it is absolutely true. Most people respond to niceties, politeness, and constructive dialogue to solve an issue. People want to be respected, and if you are going to deal with people in different situations, there has to be a mutual semblance of respect from both sides. The foundation for folks who are great with people begins with giving the person that you are dealing with the feeling of being respected, even if it is an illusion. Producing the honey involves sometimes being empathetic to their situation, making them feel comfortable, and reasoning with them if there is a disagreement. All of these things produce the feeling of respect, and if they feel respected, they will more than likely respect you, and compromise on some sort of solution which will in turn benefit the whole situation. It really doesn't take a great deal of energy to be a nice person who reasons with other people to turn a disagreement, or problem into a harmonious coexisting workable project. As I said, most people want this.
There are many bees out there though who do not care for honey at all. They are rude, demanding, self centered, and disrespectful to others, and have a tendency to only be proactive to situations that benefit them. They have no real concern for others, and situations that require tact and subtle constructive confrontation become all out bombastic displays of drama, and argument, and it all stems from them believing that it is all about them. Most people such as this go through life unable to have a productive relationship with either their own relatives, their own revolving door of significant others, or their own children for that matter, because once again the self absorbed nature of how they see the world which revolves around them, makes everyone else in their eyes unimportant unless of course they need something, or can benefit from a person doing something for them. When that person's usefulness is up, they are no longer needed in their eyes, and the dismissal begins. These folks become very bitter in life, and always think that they have never gotten anywhere because someone has always gotten in their way, or was out to get them. They tend to develop resentments towards all kinds of folks, even their own parents, siblings, or children because they think that someone else is getting, or has gotten the attention or rewards that they should have gotten.
Now comes dealing with these folks..... They are not reasonable like regular folks because of all of the things stated above. That is why if you have a desire to deal with these individuals, you need to become someone else just for those occasions. Most people are real, and deal with folks how they want to be treated, but when dealing with these particular individuals, you have to turn on a character. One who speaks their language, and caters to their understanding of the world. Unfortunately the character that you must become is one that is harsh, blunt, and unforgiving in your approach to what needs to be said, and the language needs to be the "language of vinegar". Why? because the niceness of the person that you want to be does not work with them. Killing them with kindness only makes them "Poke the bear" a little harder, and try to run over you in their efforts to keep the sun revolving around them. Becoming a character just for such individuals like this allows you to now approach them and respond in their language which is not what they are used to at all. They are used to people coddling them, or being afraid to piss them off. The character that you have to create is fearless of these individuals and will not back down, and will even engage in theatrics to get the point across. This has to be done because some bees like vinegar, and the language of vinegar, and the only time they will back down and respect you is when they know that they cannot bully you, and in fact feel that they might be in turn bullied by you instead if they don't knock off the crap.
Now this character technique may not work the first time because that person may have some hissy fit, and pretend to be offended, but when dealing with them stay in character, because they will eventually need you for something. And when they need you, you have to lay down ground rules in their language to maintain the fact in their minds that you will not be pushed by their idiocy. The language of vinegar is a tough language to learn for nice people whose credo is to treat folks the way you want to be treated, but dealing with some folks this way is absolutely necessary or you will get frustrated in the process of dealing with them. Of course the best remedy is to not deal with them at all, but learning this language is a good thing because Nice folks sometimes do finish last, right behind the ornery bastards that put them there.
The best thing you can possibly do is identify who these folks are, and decide that if you are going to deal with them, then figure out your character, and perfect it, and bring that character out when you need it. Bullies 99% of the time will always back down, and that's all these folks are. Bullies with no self esteem of themselves so the act of projection onto others is a lifelong mission. If they start a fight, then you finish it..Your way. Trust me, it will work, because one of two things will happen. They will leave your life, which is no loss most of the time...Or they will start to respond to honey, because they know that your vinegar is stronger than theirs. Either way, the less you have to pull that character out, the better. But when you do have to pull that character out, and speak the language of vinegar......Honey watch out!
There are many bees out there though who do not care for honey at all. They are rude, demanding, self centered, and disrespectful to others, and have a tendency to only be proactive to situations that benefit them. They have no real concern for others, and situations that require tact and subtle constructive confrontation become all out bombastic displays of drama, and argument, and it all stems from them believing that it is all about them. Most people such as this go through life unable to have a productive relationship with either their own relatives, their own revolving door of significant others, or their own children for that matter, because once again the self absorbed nature of how they see the world which revolves around them, makes everyone else in their eyes unimportant unless of course they need something, or can benefit from a person doing something for them. When that person's usefulness is up, they are no longer needed in their eyes, and the dismissal begins. These folks become very bitter in life, and always think that they have never gotten anywhere because someone has always gotten in their way, or was out to get them. They tend to develop resentments towards all kinds of folks, even their own parents, siblings, or children because they think that someone else is getting, or has gotten the attention or rewards that they should have gotten.
Now comes dealing with these folks..... They are not reasonable like regular folks because of all of the things stated above. That is why if you have a desire to deal with these individuals, you need to become someone else just for those occasions. Most people are real, and deal with folks how they want to be treated, but when dealing with these particular individuals, you have to turn on a character. One who speaks their language, and caters to their understanding of the world. Unfortunately the character that you must become is one that is harsh, blunt, and unforgiving in your approach to what needs to be said, and the language needs to be the "language of vinegar". Why? because the niceness of the person that you want to be does not work with them. Killing them with kindness only makes them "Poke the bear" a little harder, and try to run over you in their efforts to keep the sun revolving around them. Becoming a character just for such individuals like this allows you to now approach them and respond in their language which is not what they are used to at all. They are used to people coddling them, or being afraid to piss them off. The character that you have to create is fearless of these individuals and will not back down, and will even engage in theatrics to get the point across. This has to be done because some bees like vinegar, and the language of vinegar, and the only time they will back down and respect you is when they know that they cannot bully you, and in fact feel that they might be in turn bullied by you instead if they don't knock off the crap.
Now this character technique may not work the first time because that person may have some hissy fit, and pretend to be offended, but when dealing with them stay in character, because they will eventually need you for something. And when they need you, you have to lay down ground rules in their language to maintain the fact in their minds that you will not be pushed by their idiocy. The language of vinegar is a tough language to learn for nice people whose credo is to treat folks the way you want to be treated, but dealing with some folks this way is absolutely necessary or you will get frustrated in the process of dealing with them. Of course the best remedy is to not deal with them at all, but learning this language is a good thing because Nice folks sometimes do finish last, right behind the ornery bastards that put them there.
The best thing you can possibly do is identify who these folks are, and decide that if you are going to deal with them, then figure out your character, and perfect it, and bring that character out when you need it. Bullies 99% of the time will always back down, and that's all these folks are. Bullies with no self esteem of themselves so the act of projection onto others is a lifelong mission. If they start a fight, then you finish it..Your way. Trust me, it will work, because one of two things will happen. They will leave your life, which is no loss most of the time...Or they will start to respond to honey, because they know that your vinegar is stronger than theirs. Either way, the less you have to pull that character out, the better. But when you do have to pull that character out, and speak the language of vinegar......Honey watch out!
Monday, August 15, 2011
Chain Of Fools: It's not so lonely at the top
I happen to come across quite a few accounts and video of people caught out in the wilderness, or even the not so wilderness, and running into wild animals. Not just deer or wild turkey, or some animal that is docile for the most part. But animals such as Bear, Wolves, Buffalo, and Mountain Lions. In more extreme cases where people were out on safari Lions, Rhinos, Elephants and Jaguars. Even in the ocean against sharks there is drama that is a danger for humans. It made me think about the big joke that humans live atop of the food chain, and are lord and master over all animals. Not true at all.
The only thing that puts us at an advantage over animals is our ability to make something loud and deadly that enables humans to either defend themselves against an animal or kill it. Otherwise, without that power we are left trying to survive against opponents that are bigger, faster, can climb higher, smell more acutely, swim deeper, and are sometimes more cunning than we can imagine. The only thing that puts us at the top of the food chain is imagination, and ego. The ego one is a human trait that somehow fulfills a need for superiority and dominance. Animals in the wild have the instincts of survival and defense and feel the need to hunt when they are hungry. You are either a threat, or food to them, plain and simple. Put human beings out in the wild next to those primordial instincts and we are insignificant and most of us will fail miserably. We will be on the low link of the food chain just because of our physical weakness next to these primordial machines. If they want you either to kill you as food, or destroy you as a threat to them or their offspring, the only thing in a human beings favor is the ability to think 3 dimensionally and rationally in an effort of sheer outwitting basic instincts. It can be done, but most times by luck someone survives it. When we enter their ever shrinking world, and encounter them, it is us that are intruders, and us that have to make the adjustments. Not them.
I may be wrong, but the ability for human beings to kill, maim, and destroy ecosystems the way we do, does not make us a superior animal. Watching these beautiful animals in their daily struggles to survive within their world and take only what they need to eat, and live, and function without the lust and desire for dominance for the sake of dominance itself makes them in my opinion the the more respected animal. The ability a human being to take a gun out into the woods and hunt is due to our intellect and ability to build things that can assist us rather than our muscularity, or speed to physically overpower. Even the smaller animals that we can possibly physically overpower are almost impossible for someone to handle without getting ripped to shreds in the process, let alone catch them without some assistance of a contraption that we conjure up. We cannot take down an Elk by brute strength..But a powerful bear can. We cannot defend ourselves against a pack of hungry wolves..But a mighty Buffalo can. We have absolutely no shot at defending ourselves from a Crocodile in the rivers of Africa. But A Hippo is a Croc's worst nightmare, and the only thing they fear. We can't even capture a squirrel without a trap. But a Hawk can. Are you seeing the pattern? Humans are but an afterthought in the scheme of nature, and we are nothing. The only time we become something is when we attempt to control nature, or redirect it, or kill it unmercifully because of our own lust for destruction, and money.
Animal species have become extinct because of our insane ability to destroy, and fashion a need where there is none. Want Condos? We will ruin whole forests to appease our desire for mass housing. Want particular fashionable things to wear? We will eliminate a population of creatures so that we can look good. Too many incidents of encounters with animals in the woods? We will institute a hunting season just so we can control the population. Want a tender meat? We will create cruel conditions for animals to live and be farmed so that we can dine extravagantly. This is the M.O. of a top of the food chain species? This is what we do as human beings, and it in my opinion makes us low on the food chain, although you ask anyone where man is in the spectrum, and they will say at the top. To me, the top represents efficiency, and actions out of necessity. Not greed, and perceived actions of fun. Pit our seemingly most powerful individuals up against most animals in the wild, by themselves without the aid of guns, and you will more than likely see people that will not survive against the charge of a 30 mph bear, or a cunning 300 lb Tiger. That is not being at the top of the chain. That is being at the bottom.
Man will always destroy, try to curtail, control, and defeat nature, for his own needs and wants. Nature will seem to back down, or be controlled and or become defeated somehow. But it is an illusion, because human beings will destroy themselves in the end. And nature will survive in some other type of facet. Our link will forever be known as the "Chain of fools' section. Because that is what we are. Fools to think that we run nature, and control it. The only thing we can do is make things worse for ourselves in the end. And when we destroy everything that nature offered us because of our own lusts and devices, then nature will destroy us, and start new. Because that's how powerful nature is. We may think we are at the top of the food chain, and intellectual tower of nature..But take a walk on the wild side. You will see that we are not alone. In fact if you do we are in for a rude awakening...Or a permanent sleeping.
The only thing that puts us at an advantage over animals is our ability to make something loud and deadly that enables humans to either defend themselves against an animal or kill it. Otherwise, without that power we are left trying to survive against opponents that are bigger, faster, can climb higher, smell more acutely, swim deeper, and are sometimes more cunning than we can imagine. The only thing that puts us at the top of the food chain is imagination, and ego. The ego one is a human trait that somehow fulfills a need for superiority and dominance. Animals in the wild have the instincts of survival and defense and feel the need to hunt when they are hungry. You are either a threat, or food to them, plain and simple. Put human beings out in the wild next to those primordial instincts and we are insignificant and most of us will fail miserably. We will be on the low link of the food chain just because of our physical weakness next to these primordial machines. If they want you either to kill you as food, or destroy you as a threat to them or their offspring, the only thing in a human beings favor is the ability to think 3 dimensionally and rationally in an effort of sheer outwitting basic instincts. It can be done, but most times by luck someone survives it. When we enter their ever shrinking world, and encounter them, it is us that are intruders, and us that have to make the adjustments. Not them.
I may be wrong, but the ability for human beings to kill, maim, and destroy ecosystems the way we do, does not make us a superior animal. Watching these beautiful animals in their daily struggles to survive within their world and take only what they need to eat, and live, and function without the lust and desire for dominance for the sake of dominance itself makes them in my opinion the the more respected animal. The ability a human being to take a gun out into the woods and hunt is due to our intellect and ability to build things that can assist us rather than our muscularity, or speed to physically overpower. Even the smaller animals that we can possibly physically overpower are almost impossible for someone to handle without getting ripped to shreds in the process, let alone catch them without some assistance of a contraption that we conjure up. We cannot take down an Elk by brute strength..But a powerful bear can. We cannot defend ourselves against a pack of hungry wolves..But a mighty Buffalo can. We have absolutely no shot at defending ourselves from a Crocodile in the rivers of Africa. But A Hippo is a Croc's worst nightmare, and the only thing they fear. We can't even capture a squirrel without a trap. But a Hawk can. Are you seeing the pattern? Humans are but an afterthought in the scheme of nature, and we are nothing. The only time we become something is when we attempt to control nature, or redirect it, or kill it unmercifully because of our own lust for destruction, and money.
Animal species have become extinct because of our insane ability to destroy, and fashion a need where there is none. Want Condos? We will ruin whole forests to appease our desire for mass housing. Want particular fashionable things to wear? We will eliminate a population of creatures so that we can look good. Too many incidents of encounters with animals in the woods? We will institute a hunting season just so we can control the population. Want a tender meat? We will create cruel conditions for animals to live and be farmed so that we can dine extravagantly. This is the M.O. of a top of the food chain species? This is what we do as human beings, and it in my opinion makes us low on the food chain, although you ask anyone where man is in the spectrum, and they will say at the top. To me, the top represents efficiency, and actions out of necessity. Not greed, and perceived actions of fun. Pit our seemingly most powerful individuals up against most animals in the wild, by themselves without the aid of guns, and you will more than likely see people that will not survive against the charge of a 30 mph bear, or a cunning 300 lb Tiger. That is not being at the top of the chain. That is being at the bottom.
Man will always destroy, try to curtail, control, and defeat nature, for his own needs and wants. Nature will seem to back down, or be controlled and or become defeated somehow. But it is an illusion, because human beings will destroy themselves in the end. And nature will survive in some other type of facet. Our link will forever be known as the "Chain of fools' section. Because that is what we are. Fools to think that we run nature, and control it. The only thing we can do is make things worse for ourselves in the end. And when we destroy everything that nature offered us because of our own lusts and devices, then nature will destroy us, and start new. Because that's how powerful nature is. We may think we are at the top of the food chain, and intellectual tower of nature..But take a walk on the wild side. You will see that we are not alone. In fact if you do we are in for a rude awakening...Or a permanent sleeping.
Friday, August 12, 2011
Quest For Fire: The pursuit of excellence driven by passion
The discussion was Buddy Rich and his notoriously famous foul language laced tirades against his band. There are many documented accounts of just how much of an ogre and temperamental bastard he could be. He ranted against his band, calling them names, and by the stories of many people would blast off F bombs at the drop of a hat if he saw, or heard something he didn't like from one of his band members. But there is one thing that is absolutely certain by the body of work that this man left..He was a great musician beyond compare. And he was passionate about playing music, and left everything he had to give with every performance. Every recording I've ever heard, and every film I've ever seen of the man indicated that he played as though it was the last time he would get to do so. If you listen to the recorded tirades what he was saying was simple and blunt. He wanted the pursuit of passion and perfection from his musicians..Plain and simple. He hired them to perform a job the way he envisioned it, and when it didn't happen because someone wanted things done their way, he got pissed. Since his name was attached to the traveling marquee he had a right to be. If someone did not like the way he wanted something, or was not playing up to their potential, his suggestion was to go and start a band their way, but while he was paying them, do it his way. That's it in a nutshell..Plain and simple talk.
So coming full circle to how this applies to life is also simple. We all have things in our lives that we are passionate about, and/or good at or even outstanding at. When we set out to pursue these ventures, I am almost certain that no one said to themselves, "I want to be mediocre at this." Everyone wanted to be great, and be fulfilled by that particular reward in itself. As the saying goes, "Aim for the stars and you may reach the moon". How can you not want and demand excellence for not only the things that you enjoy, but your life in general? The pursuit of excellence should never end at what you love to do. It should permeate how you approach everything.
Too many times people settle for mediocre situations, people around them, and how they approach trying to do something. It is perfectly fine to demand excellence around you, from yourself, and from others. Excellence from yourself means having a level of acceptance that is a high standard of carrying yourself, behavior, and how you should be treated. It is not cocky, or stuck up, or bourgeois. It is deciding that you are special in this universe, and deserve the best things that can come to you. If you pursue something, demanding excellence from yourself will drive your ship of desire, and you will work hard to attack what you choose to do, with passion and grit because it is your name on the marquee, and if someone sees what you do, you want to be proud that they saw it. That is demanding excellence for yourself, because you are on a quest for fire. And that journey, and quest is to be outstanding, and achieve great things for the reward of doing it. Excellence is its own reward, and when felt, can be a springboard for even greater heights, because you will be inspired to those heights by you and you alone. The reward is a centrifugal force of positivity that breeds more desire for excellence.
Demanding excellence of others is simple also. The people you surround yourself with can propel you or drag you. It is reasonable for you to see the people you surround yourself with for who they are, and if they are good folks who you can count on, talk with, have their heads on straight, and have reasonable goals for themselves, and can be trusted, then they are part of your excellence equation. They don't have to be rich, powerful, or have a Mensa like IQ. They just have to be genuine, and sincere. Excellence comes in all varieties, but what excellence is NOT is nonsensical. Any people around you who are full of nonsense, and of bad character, or nefarious is not someone of excellence, and what they display to you is only the tip of the iceberg. Cut them loose, and seek and demand better acquaintances for yourself. If you are pursuing something with a group of people, then demand that they have the same passion as you, or it will not work. Something has to go. Either you have to leave, or someone not giving the effort has to. This is not rocket science. If something is to be great with people pursuing it, everyone must read from the same sheet of music. The quest for excellence demands it.
There is nothing wrong with excellence, and there is nothing wrong with the quest for it. I personally believe that the journey towards excellence is exciting and fulfilling, and I believe that there is no reason to accept mediocrity as your standard. Whoever you are, demand excellence for yourself, and around yourself. Raise your bar, and keep it raised. There is no reason for it to be lowered, and let substandard behavior, people and treatment in your life. Life is too short for that. Treat yourself special, and you will attract others who treat themselves special, and in turn will treat you special. The pursuit of excellence should be a standard way of life. You may not always achieve it, but as the statement earlier said, "Aim for the stars, and you may reach the moon." If you happen to dance and play in moonbeams, that would be most excellent.
So coming full circle to how this applies to life is also simple. We all have things in our lives that we are passionate about, and/or good at or even outstanding at. When we set out to pursue these ventures, I am almost certain that no one said to themselves, "I want to be mediocre at this." Everyone wanted to be great, and be fulfilled by that particular reward in itself. As the saying goes, "Aim for the stars and you may reach the moon". How can you not want and demand excellence for not only the things that you enjoy, but your life in general? The pursuit of excellence should never end at what you love to do. It should permeate how you approach everything.
Too many times people settle for mediocre situations, people around them, and how they approach trying to do something. It is perfectly fine to demand excellence around you, from yourself, and from others. Excellence from yourself means having a level of acceptance that is a high standard of carrying yourself, behavior, and how you should be treated. It is not cocky, or stuck up, or bourgeois. It is deciding that you are special in this universe, and deserve the best things that can come to you. If you pursue something, demanding excellence from yourself will drive your ship of desire, and you will work hard to attack what you choose to do, with passion and grit because it is your name on the marquee, and if someone sees what you do, you want to be proud that they saw it. That is demanding excellence for yourself, because you are on a quest for fire. And that journey, and quest is to be outstanding, and achieve great things for the reward of doing it. Excellence is its own reward, and when felt, can be a springboard for even greater heights, because you will be inspired to those heights by you and you alone. The reward is a centrifugal force of positivity that breeds more desire for excellence.
Demanding excellence of others is simple also. The people you surround yourself with can propel you or drag you. It is reasonable for you to see the people you surround yourself with for who they are, and if they are good folks who you can count on, talk with, have their heads on straight, and have reasonable goals for themselves, and can be trusted, then they are part of your excellence equation. They don't have to be rich, powerful, or have a Mensa like IQ. They just have to be genuine, and sincere. Excellence comes in all varieties, but what excellence is NOT is nonsensical. Any people around you who are full of nonsense, and of bad character, or nefarious is not someone of excellence, and what they display to you is only the tip of the iceberg. Cut them loose, and seek and demand better acquaintances for yourself. If you are pursuing something with a group of people, then demand that they have the same passion as you, or it will not work. Something has to go. Either you have to leave, or someone not giving the effort has to. This is not rocket science. If something is to be great with people pursuing it, everyone must read from the same sheet of music. The quest for excellence demands it.
There is nothing wrong with excellence, and there is nothing wrong with the quest for it. I personally believe that the journey towards excellence is exciting and fulfilling, and I believe that there is no reason to accept mediocrity as your standard. Whoever you are, demand excellence for yourself, and around yourself. Raise your bar, and keep it raised. There is no reason for it to be lowered, and let substandard behavior, people and treatment in your life. Life is too short for that. Treat yourself special, and you will attract others who treat themselves special, and in turn will treat you special. The pursuit of excellence should be a standard way of life. You may not always achieve it, but as the statement earlier said, "Aim for the stars, and you may reach the moon." If you happen to dance and play in moonbeams, that would be most excellent.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Soul Sacrifice: The important rude reminder of loss
We here in our neighborhoods go about our days sometimes forgetful. Not on purpose mind you, but just lapsing once in awhile into the drama of our lives..What bills have to be paid, oil changes for our cars, who's together now, who's breaking up, and just which function or activity the kids have to go to today. What we are forgetful about sometimes is an idea..A very important idea. The idea that the men and women in this country who signed up to sacrifice their lives, sometimes actually sacrifice their lives. And their families sacrifice their souls in the process. It takes a very harsh, and cold reminder like the 31 Americans that lost their lives this weekend to bring us back to a distinct reality of discomfort. Lives were lost never to come back, and souls were lost never to be the same.
I cannot speak about war and its horrors. Not only have I never been in one, I have never been in the service. I have however talked to many people who have been in wars, and the consistent thread is that it is the nastiest, most unglamorous mess of chaos that anyone can ever be involved in. It is an awful man made experience, and death is the end result for far to many human beings of anywhere. The folks who have been through this nightmare assure that even if one survives physically unscathed through it, the psychological loss can never be regained. There is a fundamental change on the outlook of life when someone goes through a war, that people who haven't will never understand or conceive. Somehow the last piece of innocence that we all possess even into adulthood is strangled, and shattered beyond recognition, and the person can never be the same. The affect not only is on the individual, but the residuals ripple into the families, sometimes causing tension, and the need for counseling.
The point is that men and women in this country are going through this transformation daily, in an effort to keep the ideals and things that we love about this country intact. These are men and women from different parts of the country, from every race and hue, form every religious background, or ethnicity, and all points of economic status, or political affiliation. They all have one purpose, and that is to fulfill their duties as defenders of our freedom, as they take on the assignment given to them in whatever part of the world or whatever capacity that they are required to perform in. They are people who have families, who laugh, who have loved, and who had fears, or who were friends of people who looked up to them, or even troubled individuals trying to get their lives straight. But they are ours, and part of us, and when one dies somewhere we all die in a way because of the fact that we lost lives and souls. The lives lost in war, and the souls of those they left behind. These people see things, have to do things, and are put through the physical and emotional wringer all because that's what they signed up to do, and what we love about this country and things we are able to do are the beneficiaries of them.
I am sure that because of the 6 degrees of separation we all know someone in war, or have relatives, friends or significant others that are currently serving in some capacity. It is gut wrenching and painful when stories arise that there have been deaths of soldiers, and I'm sure that all of us have at some point hoped and prayed that it wasn't someone who was close to us, or someone we knew of personally. But even when we find that it isn't, we still feel pain because of identification with the people that it does personally affect. Someone is getting a knock at their door, or some child's mother or father isn't ever coming home, or perhaps someone's best friend will no longer be there to advise, or comfort. It is painful and a rude reminder of just how hugely important of a service these brave folks are involved in.
It is human nature to sometimes forget this aspect as we are trying to negotiate our own lives, be productive, and raise children. There is nothing wrong with sometimes being self absorbed with your own life because you will not accomplish things that you want unless you focus. But the idea should never be far from the back of your mind that somewhere for this country lives and souls are being lost so that you CAN focus on the mundane routines and pursuits of your life. The lives and souls lost have made this place all that it is, and all that it will continue to be.
To the lives and souls lost, meaning the men and women who risk everything for this land and sometimes pay the ultimate price, we honor you always..To the many families, and friends trying their best to make life adjustments after tragedy, our hearts bleed for you. This is America, and despite all of the petty bickering, all of the differences, all of the posturing that we do to put up walls against one another, the truth remains that we really are one. And united we stand, divided we fall...And when one of us falls, we should all feel pain. And that is being a true patriot.
I cannot speak about war and its horrors. Not only have I never been in one, I have never been in the service. I have however talked to many people who have been in wars, and the consistent thread is that it is the nastiest, most unglamorous mess of chaos that anyone can ever be involved in. It is an awful man made experience, and death is the end result for far to many human beings of anywhere. The folks who have been through this nightmare assure that even if one survives physically unscathed through it, the psychological loss can never be regained. There is a fundamental change on the outlook of life when someone goes through a war, that people who haven't will never understand or conceive. Somehow the last piece of innocence that we all possess even into adulthood is strangled, and shattered beyond recognition, and the person can never be the same. The affect not only is on the individual, but the residuals ripple into the families, sometimes causing tension, and the need for counseling.
The point is that men and women in this country are going through this transformation daily, in an effort to keep the ideals and things that we love about this country intact. These are men and women from different parts of the country, from every race and hue, form every religious background, or ethnicity, and all points of economic status, or political affiliation. They all have one purpose, and that is to fulfill their duties as defenders of our freedom, as they take on the assignment given to them in whatever part of the world or whatever capacity that they are required to perform in. They are people who have families, who laugh, who have loved, and who had fears, or who were friends of people who looked up to them, or even troubled individuals trying to get their lives straight. But they are ours, and part of us, and when one dies somewhere we all die in a way because of the fact that we lost lives and souls. The lives lost in war, and the souls of those they left behind. These people see things, have to do things, and are put through the physical and emotional wringer all because that's what they signed up to do, and what we love about this country and things we are able to do are the beneficiaries of them.
I am sure that because of the 6 degrees of separation we all know someone in war, or have relatives, friends or significant others that are currently serving in some capacity. It is gut wrenching and painful when stories arise that there have been deaths of soldiers, and I'm sure that all of us have at some point hoped and prayed that it wasn't someone who was close to us, or someone we knew of personally. But even when we find that it isn't, we still feel pain because of identification with the people that it does personally affect. Someone is getting a knock at their door, or some child's mother or father isn't ever coming home, or perhaps someone's best friend will no longer be there to advise, or comfort. It is painful and a rude reminder of just how hugely important of a service these brave folks are involved in.
It is human nature to sometimes forget this aspect as we are trying to negotiate our own lives, be productive, and raise children. There is nothing wrong with sometimes being self absorbed with your own life because you will not accomplish things that you want unless you focus. But the idea should never be far from the back of your mind that somewhere for this country lives and souls are being lost so that you CAN focus on the mundane routines and pursuits of your life. The lives and souls lost have made this place all that it is, and all that it will continue to be.
To the lives and souls lost, meaning the men and women who risk everything for this land and sometimes pay the ultimate price, we honor you always..To the many families, and friends trying their best to make life adjustments after tragedy, our hearts bleed for you. This is America, and despite all of the petty bickering, all of the differences, all of the posturing that we do to put up walls against one another, the truth remains that we really are one. And united we stand, divided we fall...And when one of us falls, we should all feel pain. And that is being a true patriot.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Momentum And Gravity: Forces to be reckoned with and controlled
Someone came up to me in the gym yesterday, and asked how to do a particular exercise properly. As I was demonstrating it, I explained that the best way to learn this particular motion, and any motion that was attempted in the gym was to understand and control two things: Momentum, and Gravity. By understanding those two physical dynamics, anything that they tackle in the gym will become easier because of the ability to follow through with one, and the illusion of control with the other. It takes mind tricks of manipulation to negotiate both, and when it comes to physical exercise, it really is all in your head. But when I was done explaining that, and as I was walking out of the gym, I thought about those two forces, and how they play an even bigger part in life in general, and how you have to control those two forces within the scope of how you get through life also, and just like the gym...It's all in your head.
Momentum is a funny thing because we quite often use that term within the sports world, as we note that a team has some sort of momentum, and should be able to use it in their favor. I believe that can be applied to life also. We sometimes feel like we're having a good day at the casino. Things happen in our lives that set into motion other things that are good, and seemingly prosperous for our souls. We get accolades at work, we've got a little extra dough in our pockets for a rainy day, Our families are doing great, and personal life is in order. It's times like these that the momentum is in our favor, and just like a team, sometimes you want to take advantage of the good feelings, to see if they multiply. The feeling of happiness is on the horizon, and there is nothing like the feeling of happiness to turn over the self esteem engine, so that you can have confidence to get things done. The getting things done metastasizes into the idea of progress. Progress breeds the desire for more progress, and so on. It is a great circle of energy that encompasses us when momentum pokes its head out of the clouds for us for awhile. In fact it feels so wonderful that we have a tendency to pass those good feelings onto other folks, creating a momentum "drum circle" of energy. Proof that we are all connected, and the feelings and energy of people can spread all because one person has the illusion of momentum in their lives. That's how teams use it in sports, and that's how we transfer it also. The key to all of this is making it work while it's here, and enjoying it to the fullest, and surrounding yourself with people who also can harness and share their momentum, and be receptive to yours. You are the company you keep, and if you can find folks who are positive, and receptive, and who give off good energy, then you won't have to worry as much when the other force comes into play, which is.....
Gravity...The word immediately puts into mind the picture of something pulling, or dragging, or weighing down. That's what the force of gravity does. The difference in life between these two forces is that you can be your own momentum..People can be your encouragement, or inspiration, but you have to be your own propeller. Gravity is where other folks come into play. People will drag you down, weigh on you, and pull you into a bottomless pit filled with negativity, depression, complaining, and just an overall piss poor outlook about life. Now sometimes life's situations can destroy your feeling of momentum, because good things can quickly turn into bad things, and laughter can turn into tears very quickly. But nothing ruins the momentum of people more than other people. Sometimes it's as though some folks don't like to see someone have momentum, therefore a sabotage must be executed to stop all of this happiness. That's just the way some people are sometimes..Unhappy, except when there is misery. And they can easily take you with them, until you feel like there is some cloud over your head, and the crazy notion that "someone" must have it in for you. Your bad times feel worse, your situations seem more grim, straits seem more dire because of the goading of negative individuals telling you so.
You must stop the gravitational pull, and extricate yourself from people, and things that prevent your momentum, or you will fall into the category of "Fun killer" or "Dr. No" or some name that people will give you when they see you. They will not want to associate with you because you not only have no momentum, but you are a black hole of negativity pulling them in. Stop the gravity, look in the mirror, and realize who you are. And who you are is someone special with a gift. Each of us has a unique gift, and just realize yours to put momentum back in place, or get it for the first time if you feel that it has never happened.
Whatever you do in life, balance the momentum and gravity. We will all have great runs, and bad streaks, and neither will last for an incredibly long time. Your good times may be incredible, and your bad times may be devastating, but remember that there is always someone better off than you, and someone somewhere having a worse time, but the world will turn either way. But just remember also that you being special depends upon you controlling these two forces. And when you control these two forces of momentum and gravity, one word will personify your life...Balance.
Momentum is a funny thing because we quite often use that term within the sports world, as we note that a team has some sort of momentum, and should be able to use it in their favor. I believe that can be applied to life also. We sometimes feel like we're having a good day at the casino. Things happen in our lives that set into motion other things that are good, and seemingly prosperous for our souls. We get accolades at work, we've got a little extra dough in our pockets for a rainy day, Our families are doing great, and personal life is in order. It's times like these that the momentum is in our favor, and just like a team, sometimes you want to take advantage of the good feelings, to see if they multiply. The feeling of happiness is on the horizon, and there is nothing like the feeling of happiness to turn over the self esteem engine, so that you can have confidence to get things done. The getting things done metastasizes into the idea of progress. Progress breeds the desire for more progress, and so on. It is a great circle of energy that encompasses us when momentum pokes its head out of the clouds for us for awhile. In fact it feels so wonderful that we have a tendency to pass those good feelings onto other folks, creating a momentum "drum circle" of energy. Proof that we are all connected, and the feelings and energy of people can spread all because one person has the illusion of momentum in their lives. That's how teams use it in sports, and that's how we transfer it also. The key to all of this is making it work while it's here, and enjoying it to the fullest, and surrounding yourself with people who also can harness and share their momentum, and be receptive to yours. You are the company you keep, and if you can find folks who are positive, and receptive, and who give off good energy, then you won't have to worry as much when the other force comes into play, which is.....
Gravity...The word immediately puts into mind the picture of something pulling, or dragging, or weighing down. That's what the force of gravity does. The difference in life between these two forces is that you can be your own momentum..People can be your encouragement, or inspiration, but you have to be your own propeller. Gravity is where other folks come into play. People will drag you down, weigh on you, and pull you into a bottomless pit filled with negativity, depression, complaining, and just an overall piss poor outlook about life. Now sometimes life's situations can destroy your feeling of momentum, because good things can quickly turn into bad things, and laughter can turn into tears very quickly. But nothing ruins the momentum of people more than other people. Sometimes it's as though some folks don't like to see someone have momentum, therefore a sabotage must be executed to stop all of this happiness. That's just the way some people are sometimes..Unhappy, except when there is misery. And they can easily take you with them, until you feel like there is some cloud over your head, and the crazy notion that "someone" must have it in for you. Your bad times feel worse, your situations seem more grim, straits seem more dire because of the goading of negative individuals telling you so.
You must stop the gravitational pull, and extricate yourself from people, and things that prevent your momentum, or you will fall into the category of "Fun killer" or "Dr. No" or some name that people will give you when they see you. They will not want to associate with you because you not only have no momentum, but you are a black hole of negativity pulling them in. Stop the gravity, look in the mirror, and realize who you are. And who you are is someone special with a gift. Each of us has a unique gift, and just realize yours to put momentum back in place, or get it for the first time if you feel that it has never happened.
Whatever you do in life, balance the momentum and gravity. We will all have great runs, and bad streaks, and neither will last for an incredibly long time. Your good times may be incredible, and your bad times may be devastating, but remember that there is always someone better off than you, and someone somewhere having a worse time, but the world will turn either way. But just remember also that you being special depends upon you controlling these two forces. And when you control these two forces of momentum and gravity, one word will personify your life...Balance.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Hopeless Semantics: Presentation is everything
I love words, and how they are put together, and I love to listen to how people talk and arrange their thoughts in a manner of expressing themselves. And I love to see how folks write, because when you write you have an even better opportunity to express yourself because you can now arrange and see how your thoughts actually look, without the disadvantage of them traveling from your brain, and leaving your mouth too soon to be constructed fully. Everyone wants to convey their thoughts, because everyone has something to say about life, a subject that they are passionate about, a gripe, or just their own particular brand of philosophy as it pertains to how they think or carry themselves. To convey these ideas, everyone needs to only do two things..Know what you are talking about, and say what you want to say without flying off in tangents. Those two things are the keys to getting your point across, and informing folks of what you want them to know. With those two things in place, you have a fighting chance of credibility in what you say..Here's where the peripherals and nuances of Semantics come in.
I have a good friend who says, "Life is way to short to mince words". So he doesn't, and sometimes it works and other times it turns people off because he has thrown away the filter that we often use to determine whether or not it's a good idea to say something a particular way, or even at all for that matter. The same filter that makes us uneasy about telling a dirty joke in front of a person of clergy, or swearing in front of elderly people. The old saying that you get more bees with honey, than with vinegar is true, but you have to know what each person, or each situation's honey is. A comedian or musician must know their audience, to maximize their performance, and the same has to be true with us everyday in our lives trying to get our point across. Knowing your audience is understanding how each person or group of people that you try to relate to likes things presented, and said to them. We have to perform these subconscious acts like this on a daily basis as we negotiate ideas with co workers, spouses, your children, or friends. You begin to understand how things need to be said, to get the most bang for your buck with each particular situation and player. Some folks work best with subtlety, some prefer crass balls out honesty, and still others require a that you sell them an idea or thought like a used car. Use the wrong tactics on the opposite folks and the conversation won't go well.
I guess "tactic" would be considered a wrong word here but there is the semantic operative at work. It really is a tactical operation dealing with folks on a daily basis, and the different semantics and presentations do not make you phony at all. It just makes you aware of who you are dealing with, and in order to have great communication skills that is something that needs to happen. You need to be able to speak your own language, and not lose yourself, but also speak the language of "Identification". Which is having people relate to you, and you validating them also, as you relate to them, and how they present, and want things presented.
It's very important to not lose yourself in this process, and keep your core values and ideas intact and not change what you think in the process of guile to make folks agree with you. I am just talking about the semantics of approach and conversation, and not succumbing your way of thinking to accommodate others. There will be times where even if you do everything right by a particular person's playbook, that they won't be receptive to congenial back and forth. You can't win them all, and the goal is to not win them all anyway. The goal is to share. Share what? Ideas, thoughts about the world, debates about different things that you believe in, or just suggestions about codes of conduct in life in general. The exchanges and dynamics of conversation, whether they be written or vocal, can be frustrating because people will not stick to the subject, go off in tangents, or just take what you say the wrong way because your semantics weren't in line, which screwed up the presentation. We are all creatures of habit, and we have all developed our particular nuanced way of presentation, and interpretation, which means that it is sometimes in direct contrast with others. The thing we have to do is acknowledge this, and try to communicate anyway.
Even if the lines of communication get screwed up, let there still be communication. A society without communication between its people is doomed. On a smaller scale, that goes for friendships, marriages, back and forth between acquaintances or strangers, or even people that have completely polarizing ideas. In this stew of communication, semantics can be the success or failure of at least a decent exchange of ideas where there is an agreement to disagree. Learning semantics may not always get your point across the way you want it to. But it will certainly make you a better presenter of those ideas. Know your audience folks, and your audience for better or worse will respond.
I have a good friend who says, "Life is way to short to mince words". So he doesn't, and sometimes it works and other times it turns people off because he has thrown away the filter that we often use to determine whether or not it's a good idea to say something a particular way, or even at all for that matter. The same filter that makes us uneasy about telling a dirty joke in front of a person of clergy, or swearing in front of elderly people. The old saying that you get more bees with honey, than with vinegar is true, but you have to know what each person, or each situation's honey is. A comedian or musician must know their audience, to maximize their performance, and the same has to be true with us everyday in our lives trying to get our point across. Knowing your audience is understanding how each person or group of people that you try to relate to likes things presented, and said to them. We have to perform these subconscious acts like this on a daily basis as we negotiate ideas with co workers, spouses, your children, or friends. You begin to understand how things need to be said, to get the most bang for your buck with each particular situation and player. Some folks work best with subtlety, some prefer crass balls out honesty, and still others require a that you sell them an idea or thought like a used car. Use the wrong tactics on the opposite folks and the conversation won't go well.
I guess "tactic" would be considered a wrong word here but there is the semantic operative at work. It really is a tactical operation dealing with folks on a daily basis, and the different semantics and presentations do not make you phony at all. It just makes you aware of who you are dealing with, and in order to have great communication skills that is something that needs to happen. You need to be able to speak your own language, and not lose yourself, but also speak the language of "Identification". Which is having people relate to you, and you validating them also, as you relate to them, and how they present, and want things presented.
It's very important to not lose yourself in this process, and keep your core values and ideas intact and not change what you think in the process of guile to make folks agree with you. I am just talking about the semantics of approach and conversation, and not succumbing your way of thinking to accommodate others. There will be times where even if you do everything right by a particular person's playbook, that they won't be receptive to congenial back and forth. You can't win them all, and the goal is to not win them all anyway. The goal is to share. Share what? Ideas, thoughts about the world, debates about different things that you believe in, or just suggestions about codes of conduct in life in general. The exchanges and dynamics of conversation, whether they be written or vocal, can be frustrating because people will not stick to the subject, go off in tangents, or just take what you say the wrong way because your semantics weren't in line, which screwed up the presentation. We are all creatures of habit, and we have all developed our particular nuanced way of presentation, and interpretation, which means that it is sometimes in direct contrast with others. The thing we have to do is acknowledge this, and try to communicate anyway.
Even if the lines of communication get screwed up, let there still be communication. A society without communication between its people is doomed. On a smaller scale, that goes for friendships, marriages, back and forth between acquaintances or strangers, or even people that have completely polarizing ideas. In this stew of communication, semantics can be the success or failure of at least a decent exchange of ideas where there is an agreement to disagree. Learning semantics may not always get your point across the way you want it to. But it will certainly make you a better presenter of those ideas. Know your audience folks, and your audience for better or worse will respond.
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