Encroachment: The not so innocent boundary crossers

Over the weekend I happened to be in a rehearsal studio with a bunch of folks playing music, and the time slot that was designated and was paid for by the person who booked it was coming up. So with about 5 minutes left we all began to pack our things, and get out of dodge. When the gentleman who was running the place at the time came out he seemed pleasantly surprised, and he said something I found astonishing. He said "Thank you folks for leaving on time. I usually have to twist arms, and break balls to get some bands out of here when they are supposed to leave." I looked at him and then my friend and we were both completely shocked. It was insinuated that some bands who book time there always try to milk out more time than what they paid for. On the way home I couldn't stop shaking my head, because this is inconceivable to me. Time was booked from something O'clock to something else O'clock, and when your time was up, it was time to leave, because that's what you agreed to do, and what you paid for. I couldn't stop thinking about this little issue, and all of a sudden it hit me why it bothered me so much. Right then is when I thought of Those people that encroach.

To some that particular incident may not be much, and people may be wondering what the big deal is, but the simple fact is that those types of people are the worst kind, and that little act is symptomatic of more things that happen. Most people observe boundaries for the most part. When asked to do something by the rules we all have instances of pushing the envelope, but if that is usually when it doesn't involve anything but circumstances. When other people are involved, usually reasonable people don't like pushing their agendas of encroachment on others. It's human nature to push certain envelopes, but for the most part given rules, and the option to do the right thing, people will choose the right thing, and obeying the rules. The thing about people who practice encroachment is that the little things that they try to cross boundaries for, involve others, and they just don't care. They are always trying to get something extra at the expense of others. And it's usually not because of the lack of ability to achieve something, but just the sheer laziness of preparing themselves to do what is asked by the rules, or someone else.

Boundary crossing by people who encroach is a way to just avoid doing what is asked, or respecting other people who may have a particular stake in something, such as a project, time to be somewhere, or have something done, or obeying laws or rules that are put in place to assure equal opportunities for others. People who encroach want what they want, and others be damned. And instead of doing what they are supposed to do, they nitpick and nitpick at pieces of other people's rocks until they take over that space, or that idea, or that time slot. Why is it an issue? Because the little things such as going past a designated time slot get manipulated into bigger things like taking something from others, because they can. The major reason why this world is so screwed up, is because of the 20% of encroaching people in the world not following the rules that the rest obey. So those 20% cause 80% of the problems. And those people are who their kids learn from, and their kids think it's OK to encroach, and before you know it you have more shitheads just making it difficult for everyone else. And it all stems from little incidences such as pushing for more time than what you pay for.

As I have said before..Situations are easy. People make them difficult, and complicated, because someone is always looking beyond what is supposed to be done, to some other scheme that can benefit them, when if they just engage in what is agreed upon, and supposed to happen, then they would benefit greatly. If they can't adhere to what's supposed to be done, then be honest with themselves and others, and say that they can't honor this particular thing, and excuse themselves. Which would of course not involve angst or agitation from anyone else. It is worse when of group of encroaching folks get together because now there is encouragement, in numbers and and an idea that, "We are right, so we are not obliged to follow the rules". These folks are rampant pains in the asses on society, because they just don't get it. They don't get the idea that what they do affects others, and they can't wrap their minds around the concept that they could possibly be wrong, and or even crossing some boundaries.

So when the manager of the rehearsal studio mentions that he has to break balls to get people out on time, I can't help but imagining those people leaving the studio, and creating chaos for others just because they like to push, and cross boundaries that they shouldn't. When that happens, it's up to those who obey the rules to push back, and tell the encroaching ones to go screw. They are not innocent. They know what they do, and they will continue, and then they will teach others to do the same. This world would be so wonderful if people followed the rules, and did what they said they were going to do, and didn't drag everyone into their fiasco methods of trying to get more than what they are supposed to have. Sometimes boundaries have to be pushed to make something better. Other times just because they can be pushed, doesn't mean that they should be pushed. People who are for the advancement of humanity are in the first category. People who are out for themselves are usually in the second. And the second group causes way more trouble than just stealing time from a studio..They throw their elbows in the face of all of us....As they try to look out for the only people who matter in their eyes...Themselves.

Does Anybody Remember Laughter?: Funny Vibes

Yes it is a damn serious world out there. There are murders, people are going through hard economic times, there are folks trying to scam others, and there are environmental disasters where people lose everything, and sometimes die. That should never be lost on our minds, as we go about our daily business. There is pain, and suffering in this world, and since we are in the age of technology where the world is at our fingertips, we sometimes witness horrors as they are happening, or just moments afterward. It is depressing sometimes to read things in the paper, watch news, or even talk to some folks who are in dire straits. as I have stated plenty of times before, and I will say it again..We are all connected as human beings, and adversity, pain, and sadness don't discriminate. Events in the world, the country or even one's own neighborhood can be a minefield filled with things that trigger depression, cynicism, and just a piss poor outlook on life itself. And seeing how people behave to one another can really make one blow their gasket. I see it all of the time daily in person, and even on Blogs, or Facebook where people are sometimes real bastards to other folks just because they feel like being so. It really unnerves me sometimes, and I have to exercise restraint from getting into altercations of my own. It wears on the one thing I have that I believe we should all exercise and make bigger..A sense of humor.

Laughter truly is the best medicine for the ailments that plague all of us everyday at some point. It is vital to be able to laugh, and share laughter, because it is a release. A special kind of release that kind of says everything is ok because I can laugh. There are some things that are definitely not appropriate to laugh at, and we all have common sense enough to figure them out, but there are quite a few things to laugh at that don't seem like it, but if looked at the right way can be amusing, and ironic. Having a sense of humor is serious business, because life and people will wear you down, worry you, piss you off, and create all sorts of health issues for you as a result of stress, and turmoil. Sometimes you have to just stop, and decide that there is no more room for negative emotions concerning an issue, and think of the humor that may lie within it. There usually will be some humor present because life and people are full of contradictions, and polar opposites no matter how consistent they try to be. So knowing that, when you can laugh, you are being more realistic than others because you are basing a majority of situations in a more realistic light. Laughing does not mean that you are dismissing a situation necessarily, because if a situation exists in a serious fashion, there will be plenty of opportunities to dwell on the heaviness of it. There needs to be a moment to lift that weight, and relieve ones self of the burden if only for a moment, so that when the burden resumes, it can be shouldered a little better.

Whenever possible laughter should be a part of someone's ritual for being because there is enough pain, and sadness to go around for all of us to share many times over, so those humorous moments are crucial for well being. The best comedians are able to take the sadness in their lives, and how they see the imperfections of themselves, and others, and transfer them to laughter, making us see some of the absurdities in life. We must all be able to do that sometimes instead of complaining, and singing "woe is me" to anyone who will listen. Laughter does so many things..It breaks the ice between strangers, it cleans up bad thoughts towards other people, because you really have to be an ogre to have evil thoughts about someone that you just shared a hearty laugh with. And it makes one vulnerable because sharing a laugh means that guards were let down, and you may see someone as human, and not just as some person who is not you.

Anyone who knows me personally knows that I love laughter, I love jokes, and I can often laugh not only at others, but myself as well. You have to be able to laugh at yourself, because if you look deep within and see all of the imperfections, contradictions, fears, prejudices, and absurdities that we all possess inside, you have to find it hilarious. Anyone who takes themselves too serious is someone who is not acknowledging flaws, or quirks within them. And there really is nothing you can say to that person to make them see it, because they will get offended at any little thing that doesn't fit in with how they see life and their little captions of conduct. Leave those folks to wallow in their self importance. Human beings are funny, and the situations that we create to complicate things is even funnier. So take moments to laugh at what life is, and the hands that it sometimes deals you, no matter how serious it is. I have been through very serious things in life, and as they were going on, it wasn't fun, nor would I wish them on anyone. But the growth that I took from those things is invaluable, and when they were going on, people made me laugh when I really didn't want to..And it was the best thing for me.

So cry, laugh, then cry again, and remember that it's all right to do both. Look at the world through humorous eyes, and your perspective will never be too heavy. We all will have times where it will seem not worth the effort, and that is human. "This too shall pass" was uttered to me plenty of times, and it was absolutely true. In my worst hours, there was something ironic, or something that merited a humorous moment of outlook. Laugh, make others laugh so that they laugh with you, and the more people that are laughing, that is less people are fighting, calling someone names, bitching, and complaining about trivial crap, or just plain creating stress and havoc for someone else..Only for a moment? Yes..But life is all about enjoying moments, because you have no idea when your last one will be. So why not make as many laughing moments as possible, because there will be plenty of people to cry for you when you are gone. Unless you were a miserable bastard to people in life. Then people will be laughing at the fact that you are no longer there to make them miserable...Now isn't that funny?

Self Deployed: D.I.Y. is the best M.O. against B.S.

An idea has to be followed by a process of execution, which means that the idea has to be thought out with all of the pros and cons in tact, in conjunction with the "what if's" and all of the "In case of's". In order to have a full fledged 3 dimensional idea, you have to play Devil's advocate, so that everything can be laid out in preparedness for the execution aspect. And when you project all of the dimensions of the idea, when things come up, it's a possibility that those things were anticipated, and worked into the foreseen process, therefore making the "thing" that came up easily handled. Now there will always be things that come up that you didn't expect, because Murphy is always throwing a monkey wrench into the machine. The true test of a well thought out idea, is how that idea functions in its execution form under adversity. And there will be adversity, but from where and what angle? That's a question that gets answered when it happens, and what is usually true is this one aspect: If you want the execution of an idea to work, it has to be in as few hands as possible, which means it should be in your hands. If you care about your idea, and you want no unnecessary hiccups, you will guard the idea like a winning lottery ticket.

There have been too many times that I have seen folks have a sensational plan, and well thought out goals, and someone comes and lets that plan go astray because it managed to get wrestled away from them. The idea, the central crux of execution gets lost in a shuffle of forks, turns, potholes, and misguided intentions on the road to proper deployment of  something that is 3 dimensional in thought. A good idea can become a wayward idea in no time flat, and it can be veering toward the ditch before anyone realizes it. Before you know it the bullet train of idea has become a treadmill, getting lost with other wayward mediocre situations. This often happens when the idea gets out of your hands, and out of the original concept of what you were trying to achieve, and that's the moment when most people realize that in order for something to get done, you have to do it yourself. Not only do you have to do it yourself, but you have to arrange it so that only you can do it.

Actions always speak louder than words, and in the case of the word "Do", it is most conducive to observation, because the folks who talk the loudest, produce the least, while the folks who just put their heads down and do, are the folks who control their ideas, and execute to perfection just what they said they would do. They never relinquished control of their idea, and they just quietly went about their business until their idea became a well oiled machine of efficiency. And most important is that they still never say a word. Their work speaks for itself, because they do it themselves, and avoid the B.S. of others fumbling their idea. If it is your idea, only you can put the heart, soul and imagination into what needs to be done to make it successful. Your M.O. should be the circle of you and as few people as possible. The more people that get involved in what you try to do, the more ways that it can get screwed up, overlooked, neglected, or just plain ruined. Out of those situations can be a complete rebirth as you now understand just what has to be done, and renewed objectives that can be pulled from it. Those situations can actually be better, because if your idea has weathered those situations then it is a great idea to be continued, and made better by no one but you.

The simple fact is that people can screw up anything if you let them, it is up to you to get the answers to fix it, and move forward. And you may just find out that everything will fall into place just like you foresaw it, once you take charge and do things yourself. There are many folks who will complain about a situation, or fall into the trap of belief that they can't do anything, and yet others will just be pissed about some aspect that they have control over. The idea is to channel that frustration and anger into the process of taking control of the situation. Life is full of these little skirmishes that test your meddle, will, and shape how you conduct yourself under these odds. it is important to stay focused, and engaged in the process of foothold. And that foothold is where your idea, and your execution come together, run by you, and presented the way you saw it.

Remember that it is all right to fail. Most people want to be in charge when things are smooth, but lay blame when things are not. When you are in charge, there is you, and if you are successful then wonderful. If you fail, then that's OK. The most successful folks in the world failed numerous times, and had to redirect their idea. But the fact that they were in charge of it was huge, as they could mold the new phase of their plan to be continued. So close your circle, and align yourself with doers and not talkers, because when someone is talking, then they are not executing, so why be around it. What you want to do should be self deployed, and operated by yourself, because you have the greatest interest in the outcome.
Roll with the wheels, get run over by them, or drive...Trust me, it is better being the driver.

Hands Across The Water: Citizen of the world

I try to sit and watch films of people from all over the world describing their daily lives, and what their hopes and dreams are, and talk to folks from other countries whenever I can, and it is crystal clear to me that people are for the most part in every country of every continent the same. They want the basic things of happiness, and no suffering, and the ability to take care of their families, and to love, and be loved, and most of all feel respected. It doesn't get any more complicated than that, and if someone tells you it is, then they are just applying their own personal ambitions to someone else. I am not talking about other governments or regimes, or any other ruling faction somewhere else. I am talking about the people under those situations. The true heart of  other countries are the people who like us try to make ends meet, survive, have laughter once in awhile, and who have love in their hearts, and resilient souls that get beaten down, but get back up to try again. You don't have to be a world traveler to understand this. You just have to listen because if you do you will hear your own voice, and your own heart, but in another language, dialect, or accent. We are all connected as human beings, and our similarities are more striking than our differences. That goes for anywhere on this planet. If people can take the horse blinders off, and see people as people, then the process can begin, but there are folks here that can't even talk to their fellow Americans without calling them some political name because of how they think, or fighting them verbally or physically over ideas when everyone has the same goal, but different approaches.

 Some people here think the term "Citizen of the world" means that you are not putting America first. So many people got up in arms about it, and for no apparent reason. I love America, and would not want to live anywhere else, but that is not what being a citizen of the world is all about. It is about accepting others and their cultures in the world as valuable and although different, it is important to them. Too many Americans think that America is the only place on earth, and that no one else has anything worthwhile to say in this world. Well this is a new day, and age, and the world is catching up, as the age of technology makes this planet smaller, and smaller. It is important to acknowledge and realize that there are places, and people who don't do anything like what you are used to, and their ways, and cultures are to be respected for what they are...Different. Barring violations on human rights, each culture has worth, and value, and under each of those cultures are people who are just like you and I but who do things different.

There are plenty of folks reading this who have been to other places, and far away lands, but you don't have to be one of those folks to understand that you are connected to someone an ocean away. A citizen of the world accepts the beauty that is in other people of the world, and appreciates the diversity of what they have to teach, and say. There is so much more out there than just your own back yard of ideas and concepts, that to shut them out because someone doesn't do what you do is almost an injustice to yourself. Too many times we lump people of other countries in with the actions of their Government, or a radical group that  happens to be of their religion or region. That is also unfair in itself, as many Americans of various groups jump up and down screaming when they are labeled as racists, religious nuts, criminals, or xenophobes. Why should we label groups from other countries as the names that they get called?

We as Americans often forget that some may look at us as Colonizers, meddlers, hypocrites, and self absorbed whiners, who have more in our sole possession than most families have in theirs from another country. But a citizen of the world from another country can look past that, and see just the American people and their heart and souls, which is what we are proudest of. I am a true believer that yes people are different all over the world, but we are truly all connected to each other, and don't have to speak the same language to smile at one another, shake hands, or be of comfort if there is sadness, or feel empathy if there is tragedy. I love people and other cultures, and there is much to absorb and learn from people who live differently, no matter where they may be. I often get the opportunity to talk with people here about the country that they came from, and it is a reaffirmation of what I said above when I do. They are the same as me. Hopes, dreams, love, heartache, laughter, sadness. The same elements that make up so many of us Americans. There is a distinct difference between patriotism, and a distorted vision of how we view ourselves as America. As most people know, but seem to forget, this land was the Native American's land, and most people here are not indigenous. They are from different places, and historic cultures, thrown together to make a unique melting pot culture of our own. Yes America is wonderful, but it is not the only place in the world, nor is it the answer to all of the world's problems. It is an infant country compared to the age many other cultures, but you would never know that by talking with some folks. Being a citizen of the world allows you to be aware of that aspect, and lose the highbrow, "Well I'm an American so go screw yourself" attitude. America is not the root of all evil in the world, nor is it the flower of virtue. Understand that concept, and you can accept the fact that sometimes the answers you seek are not just between New York, and Los Angeles.

It is wonderful to be a citizen of the world, because I can look at someone from somewhere else, and not just call him/her brother or sister, but I can truly feel that feeling of unity that is so needed for all of us to get along and accept one another. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we all considered ourselves not only Americans, but citizens of the world? The ability to accept, find beauty in, and share communion of friendship with other cultures and share yours is as fulfilling as anything you can look for because the affirmation that people are like us makes us feel not so alone in the world. Yes these ideas sound like Hippie talk to quite a few folks, but I don't see anything wrong with wanting the world to get along, and for people to feel connected to others that they have never met. As the question in the song asks, "What's so funny 'bout peace love and understanding?" My response is..Not a damn thing.

The Movement You Need Is On Your Shoulders: Be a Pro....Tester

Movements are always tricky because it's easy to get wrapped up in a cause, and lose sight of it at the same time. It can start off as something very noble in someone's head, and then be usurped by the wrong group of folks that steer it in another direction, and possibly in the ground. There are many things to call attention to, and many ideas that actually should be at least heard, because that is how our society works best. That is how most movements begin. An idea or concern that needs to be addressed and taken to the level of awareness on a grand scale. Something needs attention, and the best way that Americans bridge ideas of concern to action of awareness, is organizing movements. The movements can be as small as a committee in a condo association, or it could be as big as many branches of nationwide protests, but the main focus of any movement is one word. "Change". Someone's better is always someone's worse, so as many movements as there are, there are people who don't agree with them, and sometimes form counter movements just to in their minds balance things. That's fine because no one movement has all of the right answers, and people want to get heard for fear of being run over by some particular movement that they disagree with. The problem that movements run into is that in this day and age require constant media coverage to be relevant, therefore you will have people who really don't represent the true sentiments of the movement speaking untruths and not necessarily understanding the nuances of what is required to explain to folks just what the idea is. And people within the movements are too busy painting to everyone what they can't stand.

That is why the most important thing about movements has to be that they are FOR something. Too many movements are formed to be AGAINST something, or have vitriol for some entity that someone has made a case to be public enemy #1. Whether that entity be big Government, The President, Wall Street, or Billionaires, nothing is worse than a movement that uses the word "Against" in their description. It turns people off, and many can't get behind something that describes its main focus as conflict. A movement must become a mindset for people to gravitate to, and yes anger is a mindset, but there is a difference between productive anger that enables a person to be "for" something, as opposed to that unproductive contempt that fuels and motivates people out of fear that something will happen to them if they don't join. The movement on your shoulders is an important one because it is truly the mindset that has to lead the way to changes for the better, and not just talking points and signs.

I point to the Civil Rights Movement as an example of the perfect cause for protest in our history. It wasn't against anything when you really get down to Brass tacks. It was for the just cause of equal rights that everyone is this country was promised. It was for the betterment of humanity as a whole, and the heart of the movement was a man who understood that it was a mindset that had to change along with laws. Just one of those by themselves wasn't going to cut it, In order for people to want to be a part of the movement, and get behind it, it had to be for something. And that something resonated with people of different races, economic backgrounds, religions, and political leanings. The antagonists were never named, They didn't have to be, because they made themselves seen and known. The movement was just, and noble because it wasn't about these people against those people. It was about the right thing to do, and a cause that turned over rocks and exposed worms that people were afraid to acknowledge existing under them. That's what the best movements do. They awaken people's perceptions without scapegoats, and incendiary rhetoric. A parallel movement is what's happening all over the Middle East. Those people are fighting for basic human rights, and freedoms that we enjoy, and those movements are violent because that's the result of true oppression. But again the movements are "for" those basic things. They may be fighting against dictatorships, but what is transpiring is positive rebellion for basic things that all humans want, and are denied over there. And the change in mindset is at the heart of it. The movement is on the shoulders of those people first...In their hearts second...In their mouths third.

Movements must be just, and organized to a point where they have a center, and a purpose, and a heartbeat. A movement without those things is doomed, as it will wither away, and not fulfill its promise to be an agent of change. It will become corrupted by people trying to morph it into ideas identical to their own personal agendas and whims, and not for the greater purpose that it was intended. That is why every movement needs a manifesto, and a spokesperson who can articulate just what is being said, and tell others just what the movement stands for, what it hopes to achieve, and present solutions to the particular dilemma. But the main part of that movement is a collective mindset where everyone is in accordance with what thought processes need to be kicked into gear to truly make the changes. A true "Pro Tester" understands this, because it truly is testing the system, and trying to challenge people to push the boundaries of what they know and accept. A true "Pro Test" is one who will make people want to join something because it is "for" a cause, and not "against" some cloudy version of what they perceive of as "fighting the enemy". That doesn't work for long because the conditions eventually change, therefore what happens to the enemy? Are fingers pointed toward a now "new" enemy? And then a new enemy after that? When you are for something, there is no enemy..There is only striving for a goal and you will have more people join your cause because they won't have the fear of becoming the enemy Du Jour.

The movements that I see here in America have had promise, but they are falling victim to becoming something against, and not something for. Politicians attaching themselves to movements, is never a good thing because they begin to manipulate their agendas to ride a wave, trying to embrace some people while alienating others. And then the movement will become fractured because it will fight itself, and other people who would otherwise have supported it.
My advice is this: For those who want a movement, think first, because the movement you need really is on your shoulders first. A mindset that you have to use first to have solutions, and then once you have solutions, you can make everyone aware of them, as you are for a purpose, and not against a concept. You can be against something, but you will more likely to get people interested if your "for" is first and foremost. 

Remember that the 60's youth movement were for peace , love and equality. Where they went wrong was that they were more against the war in Vietnam then they were for those other things. When the war ended, so did they.

Lasting Ripples: The most important thing to leave behind

I thought about a conversation I had with someone a while back, and it touched upon what would I want to leave folks when I am gone. I never thought about it before, as no one wants to think about their own mortality for no apparent reason. I try to think about living, not dying, but it was an interesting question because not many people know what to say, outside of personal possessions or some advice to someone on how to live life to the fullest. There are people who make out elaborate wills to leave their children this or other relatives and good friends that, and focus on the idea that they have to leave some physical aspect of themselves to someone in order to be remembered in some fashion. The truth of the matter is that heirlooms, property, riches, and other physical aspects to be left over are not the most important things that one can leave.One can leave a house to their children, and they may share it, and use it as a vacation place, and that's fine. One can leave some expensive China in a will to be cherished down generations. In the end, that really doesn't matter. We all have a tendency to want to leave a mark or footprint saying that we were here on earth, and often they believe that footprint has to be something material.

The footprint that is most impressionable, and the legacy that is most potent is what intangible you leave with people. What you stood for, what laughter you shared with someone, what sadness you were there for, and shared, and whether you offered comfort. What advice you gave someone in times of trouble that they followed, and things turned out right. How you conducted yourself for others to watch, and take note of, and most importantly how you made others feel when they saw you, and were around you. These are the everlasting ripples that will live with people in their hearts long after you are gone, and these are the feelings that they will relay to others that will last far longer than some antique heirloom. These footprints and ripples are what people should strive to leave behind because qualities such as those can influence lives for the better. As I said before, you never know who you have influenced, and sometimes there are people you barely knew who were touched in some way by an act of kindness, or random conversation that really made a difference in their lives in some way.

I don't have riches. I don't have fancy China, or furniture to leave anyone. I have jokingly told my friends who gets what music equipment when I die, but I'm really not concerned with those aspects because when I'm dead, I obviously will have no say in the matter, so everyone scrounge away. What I do care about is whether I made a difference in someone's life for the better. Was I help someone work through a problem? I really have no control over whether someone likes me or not, because as I have said before I care not to be liked by everyone. If I am, then I pandered somewhere, and stood for nothing trying to please everyone, and that is no way to go through life. But what I do care to leave is some sort of memory with people that they can have for themselves. As if a piece of me was left here for them as their own. The ripple of interaction is a powerful connection that lasts far beyond the years of a person gone, and becomes etched in the mind of those for as long as they can remember.

I have no plans on leaving, or dying anytime soon, but no one knows how long they are here for. While I am here, I like to interact with as many people personally as I can. Whether it be in the act of just meeting once in life, or over the course of several times, I like people, and generally people are interesting to talk with and learn from. Yes there are some grand idiots out there, but they can be learned from also. I hope that I can lend knowledge to some also. Not just about music, or stats about some concrete minutia, but some real tangible knowledge that might help them in the future, or some conversation that resonated with them about life. Those are the things that I hope to leave to someone, and what we can all strive to do is be a thought in someone's head when they run into a dilemma, or be a smile on their face as they remember good times with you, or relay something to someone that you said, and it helped them. Those are the intangible ripples that we can all aspire to leave.
So beyond political ideas, moronic conflicts, and the fireworks of mouth running, make sure in life you give someone your essence. Who you are as a person, and just what you are about and stand for as a child of the universe. That is an important legacy for you to leave with someone, or many people, because that is your own rock that you stood on while you were here, and once you are not here, people that you knew and touched can chop up that rock and take a piece home with them for themselves. Their own personal piece of you that they can remember and cherish, and perhaps refer to in times that they need to. That is the legacy of you, and that is what will keep you alive long after the last tear has been shed for you. You will not be able to control what folks say about you when you are gone. There will be things said that aren't true, or exaggerated, or distorted in some ways. There won't be anything you can do about that, and that's just how it is sometimes. But what you can control is how you conduct yourself while you are alive, and how you interact with people now, and sometimes it won't be all good. But then again it won't be all bad either.

So leave your legacy of you, and let the memory of you be unique in the minds of everyone. It is there where your ripples will always be moving and influencing the shape of everyone. If I leave nothing except a fond memory of how I may have helped someone, laughed with someone, or had great conversations with someone that they can think back to, and treasure for themselves. That is perfectly fine with me. Because that meant that I gave them a piece of myself, which is the most valuable thing I possess.

Frothy The Lowman: Those heaping personal attacks

Within this hostile climate of a fractured, and struggling America, there seems to be a very nasty trend that supposed adults engage in. And because of Facebook, Blogs, cyber news articles, and other social media, people can hide. They hide behind a keyboard, or cell phone linked to the internet, or some anonymous name, or alter ego that they wish to use to convey some tirade. What they do when hiding behind these objects is personally attack people who they disagree with. As I've said in the past, there is nothing wrong with civil discourse, but some people take things far beyond discourse, and into the realm of name calling, and personal perceptions that are completely unnecessary. I see it all of the time, and am the occasional brunt of someone who disagrees with me, yet chooses to not mention the subject at hand, but instead throws some personal jab at my character, or creates a preconceived notion about who I am based upon my opinion about a particular subject. All the while frothing at the mouth behind a computer, and some seething notion that I must be addressed, and personally thwarted for possibly even having an opinion.

This is the cyber playground mentality, where the bullies when confronted with something that they disagree with instead of conversing would rather just say, "Oh yeah? Well you're stupid" In this cyber world of discussion, I constantly stick my neck out to something I disagree on, and get it chopped off not by someone who would like to just converse  in a nice manner to discuss subjects, but by two types of folks: A)Holders of all knowledge proclaiming self righteousness, who could never acknowledge that they might possibly be wrong in a million years, and B)Blowhards whose contributions to discussions are to name call, insinuate aspects of my character that they perceive to know, (or anyone else they disagree with for that matter,) and cyber yell putting exclamation points in front of statements condemning my contribution to the subject, while of course proclaiming themselves as people in group A.
Of course there are great folks whom I disagree with, but enjoy heartily their opinions and discussing things with them because they are adults, and can hold discussions in discourse without flying off the handle, or deep end. Some of those very folks I am proud to say follow my Blog here, and I would like to give them a nice salute.

The problem that these folks create, (meaning the ones who call names, attack personally, and can't hold discussions) is that they make it hard for everyone that would like to work things out and discuss things. If I jump in a discussion, even if I think someone is an asshole, I won't address that person as such. I like to state my opinion of the topic, and wait for a response which will hopefully be passionate, but full of information, on the topic..Not a change in the subject, and an insinuated question of my intelligence or manhood. Too many people engage in this type of rhetoric which for me brings the whole operation to a shut down. I have and will continue to state to folks that I am done with the conversation, and I leave the frothing up to them. As in the regular life of disagreements, there needs to be someone who says, "I'm stepping back." That doesn't mean that there is a weakness in this maneuver. It just means that it's really not worth indulging someone who is too far gone to just see someone as an individual with a different opinion. So what is the point of continuing?

I personally cannot deal with know it all mentalities, and addressing someone that I don't know in some negative fashion. If someone wishes to differ with me, I am all for it, because we all need to be challenged in our thinking, and get other perspectives from other sides. But if one wants to just spew crap without thinking, be a blowhard who doesn't stick to the subject, or piss all over my character that they don't know, I am out of there. And computers enable all of this type of behavior because there is a buffer zone of confidence that people use to shriek at, condemn, point fingers at, and verbally jab folks in writing, that would not be acceptable in public real life.

I have moments of wanting to jump through the computer, trust me I am no saint. But I do understand that this is an America of people on edge, and I choose my words carefully so that folks are respected even if I disagree with them. I have been the butt too many times of people who do not know me, yet have something negative to say about me, And I have seen others get chewed to shreds and called every name in the book by someone they have never met.  I have no use for those people who do that in real life or cyber. If you know me and think I'm an ass then that's cool. I care not to be liked by everyone..That would mean that I'm a panderer and I have no desire to be that. If some people don't like you then you are doing something right. There are people that I don't like. There are ideas that I like less, and there are people who I think have really shitty ideas, and perceptions. But that doesn't give me an excuse to call them names, nor does it give me an excuse to froth at the mouth against them. It does give me an option to either state my opinion, or leave them alone.

  This holds true especially if I don't know someone personally. There is no reason to be hostile towards them, or insinuate things about their character..I have no idea what someone's life is about, and what they have gone through, nor do they know that about me. With computers I believe that the art of conversation which includes disagreeing, has taken a huge plummet downward and will continue to get worse as the country's climate gets worse. There are too many ways, and too easy to say "I don't like you because of your idea" now, and there is no stopping the folks who don't know how to interact with others from jumping on and stirring up trouble because they can't deal with an adult conversation in person. The character that I've named "Frothy The Lowman" can be men or women who take discourse to its lowest level of playground name calling and spitting. They can't deal with regular communication, and decide to let their personal pride in what they believe, run their imagination, elevating them above everyone else, which enables them to feel confident enough to berate, and treat others with disrespect.

Those who engage in passionate adult disagreements without name calling, and personal attacks..I raise a glass to you. Those who wish to take discourse to a new low..I will not engage you, and I hope that others follow suit. Because when there is no one to play with them in the sandbox, they will take their bucket and go home, hopefully for a long time. Always remember this folks....Disagreements are a part of life....Arguments don't have to be.

Mind Over Blather: Outspoken consequences

My Grandfather is one of the smartest individuals I have the pleasure of knowing. He doesn't have much of a formal education, but can do anything, and knows more than plenty of academia  folks walking around today. That in itself is smart, but what makes him incredibly smart to me has something to do with one thing in particular..And that is understanding the weight of what he says. He is a serious quiet man who does way more listening than he does talking, and usually when he does open his mouth to say something important everyone around listens. Why? Because his thoughts are well organized and logical, he has analyzed whatever situation has been discussed, and talked about, so he is calm and to the point. I have never heard the man raise his voice, nor go off on some tangent that has nothing to do with the subject, and his points are based on a good mixture of experience, feelings, knowledge, and common sense. The thing that he understands most is that what you say, good and bad has weight and consequence, so it better be something that you can stick by, and live with, and not sound like an idiot spouting. Needless to say, the man has never come close to sounding like an idiot in all the time that I was raised by him and my Grandmother. He has always said, "Say whatever you want. It's a free country, but take the responsibility of your words."

Which brings me to my topic of just that. What led me to this thought process was the (As of writing, temporary) suspension of  Hank Williams Jr. from ESPN for comparing the President of the United States to Adolph Hitler, who is arguably one of the most evil individuals and mass murderers that has walked on the planet. A completely idiotic thing to say and spew out off the top of his head, but this is a free speech society, and he is allowed to say it, as people say idiotic stuff all of the time. So his involvement with Monday Night Football was suspended. I have heard cries from folks that his free speech was trampled on. That's a load of bull. He said what he said without going to prison, or someone knocking at his door, and dragging him away to some undisclosed location. But the people who were employers of him did not like the association, and how he represented himself, which is hand in hand with them, so they did damage control. Fair enough. If you open your mouth to say stuff, you have every right to say what you want, but understand that things you say have consequences, and you are responsible for your words. It would be all the same if I worked for a particular company, and trashed that company all over some news interview, and they got wind of it, and fired me. I certainly had a right to say whatever it was, but I should expect a reaction. And the reaction is concrete consequences in motion. If I am unhappy about being fired, I'm sure that someone would have the stones to say to me, "You should have thought of that before opening your mouth". Because that's the thing that gets most people in trouble. Not understanding or even expecting fallout from running at the mouth. If people understood their responsibility role in what they say, less stupid things might get said..Wishful thinking of course.

I am all for people speaking their mind, because that is what this place is all about, but most people seem utterly shocked when they ramble, and state things off the top of their heads without thinking, and there is a backlash of reaction. Usually the folks who claim to speak their mind, really don't seem to use it when opening their mouth. Sometimes "I speak my mind" is just code for "I don't think about what I say before I say it." The smartest folks that I know seem to be pretty quiet until something needs to be said, and when it gets said, it is usually well thought out, and can be discussed as substantial. And after they speak, even if the response is controversial, it has been stated in such a matter that it is mature in thought process, and explained in such a well rounded fashion, that the consequences are minimal because there was thinking involved. Now of course sometimes we as individuals will say the wrong things because we are human and we all make mistakes. But we are more likely to forgive someone who originates from speaking their mind in a rational manner as opposed to someone just babbling without any grey matter behind their words.
There are positive consequences also for what you say. Speaking out for injustices, or correcting wrongs, or whistle blowing about corruption has consequences also, but those consequences are usually a framework for change for the better. Ghandi, Dr. Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela...All individuals who understood the consequences and weight of their words, but also understood and took responsibility of what was going to be heaped upon them because of it. The ultimate goal for these men was to suffer those consequences, and be the focus for a cause bigger than themselves. Not just to gain attention to themselves for the sake of self indulgence.

You are supposed to learn at an early age about the consequences of what you say. In my world, if I talked back or dare swore, there were consequences that I would still be healing from today. How you conduct yourself, and what you say has positive residuals, and negative consequences, and it's important to know what those are, and when they will happen in order to be respected by folks. If you spout off at the mouth too many times, people will at first be shocked, and ready to condemn you, but then they will just dismiss you, and ignore anything you say labeling it as a joke. There will be people who will disagree with what you say, but if you state things with knowledge, facts, and conviction, even your disagreeing parties will respect you, and your consequences will be minimal, because what you say will always be seen as a valuable opposite opinion, and straight shooting dialogue. Straight shooter means getting to the point, not shooting from the hip wildly.

I saw it at an early age from my Grandfather. Everything you say has weight, and if you know that, you will think about what you say, and when you say it, and be responsible. And you will know also when to just shut up. Yes we have free speech here, and the protection of free speech is mostly to protect things we don't like, because why would you need to protect speech that you do like. But that freedom comes with a price of scrutiny, reaction, and sometimes consequences. You can say whatever you want, just be prepared for someone to react however they want. And if you work for someone, or are a representative of an entity that you are an image for, that reaction just may cost you money..As in not having any. So my Grandfather lives his life with a great concept and idea..And that idea is that having free speech means not using it because it's there. Sometimes knowing when to keep your mouth shut is the greatest freedom of all.

Introspective Detective : Enlightenment begins at home

Someone described what I do here as enlightening people. I don't see it that way at all. I appreciate the sentiment, but my goal is not to enlighten anyone because I can't. My goal is to present a particular point of view, and opinion that I have found true to my observations and experience. Someone else may have a completely different take about the same subject, and it is their right to have that. The main thing that I try to do here is present a piece of myself up to the microscope for examination. It's easy to form opinions about others, and interpret just what they do, but it is very hard to then look at those aspects and see various degrees of ones self. It is actually painful to do because sometimes what you see is not always joyous and pretty to look at. I often times as I write these Blogs, take opportunity to expand upon why something bothers me, or why a particular aspect makes me feel good or bad, and in order to do that I need to really examine my thoughts and my inner workings. I am not the holder, and purveyor of knowledge and wisdom, because I firmly believe that the more you think you know, the more you realize what you don't know. So my enlightenment is for myself, because it truly does begin at home.

There are introspective folks and there are people who are aware, but not necessarily searching all of the time. Both are fine. I happen to be of the first category, as I am always looking for something. Whether it be within, or without, I seem to be tormented by thinking too much. Mostly about myself and what I try to accomplish in this life. Other times about the universe and people, but either way, the faucet is always on. It is a tremendous challenge for me to not over analyze, question, and systematically break down things to find the essence of something to solve a problem, or digest situations. It is an effort for many people like myself to straddle the line between what is felt, and what is thought. Where we get into trouble is when we over think things instead of just feeling a situation, and letting it happen. Enlightenment is crucial to all who seek and search, because it is essential for the growth aspect of being. And in the process of growing, you discover new avenues of thought and action that can take one to the next phase of yourself.

I believe that everyone needs to know what makes themselves tick in some ways. What makes them happy, what annoys them, what drives them, etc... Not just those aspects of self, but the "why" factor. Why do they feel that way? Some folks never ask themselves about this hard question, and therefore often never fully correct mistakes in life, and often times repeat them over and over. If you know why you believe, think, or feel about something, you can really hone in on yourself, and work towards being the individual that you desire to be. It sounds deep, and complicated, but it really isn't. You don't have to be a Zen Buddhist to be introspective. Just know who you are, and ask why you are this being. I can't ask people this question, as I am constantly quizzing myself, but what I hope to do is perhaps inspire someone to do the same with themselves. I can enlighten no one, but I can show them that the discovery of ones self is an enjoyable process, that when set in motion is a wonderful journey. A journey with changes, and discoveries of layers, and hard to face revelations about ones self.

Each one of us is a constant work in progress with wonderful traits, and horrible flaws, and that will always be. No one is perfect, and not only that, no one is even close to perfect. We are balls of contradictions, fears, prejudices, and turmoil that we constantly are at war with, and there are bad choices, and questionable words, thoughts, and actions right around the corner daily that we might engage in. We all have stories, experiences, and our own set of values that we hold dear, and everyday there is something to learn if our eyes are opened enough. but enlightenment to me is not about discovering how the universe, and other people work. It's about discovering how ones self works, and figuring out just what type of footprint one would like to leave here when it's time to exit. Searchers, do this on a conscious level everyday, and sometimes can't get out of their own way for thinking too much. There truly is a "Why" to everything, but I have found out regretfully that sometimes as bad as you want it, that answer won't be shown to you for whatever reason. And for searchers whose main question is "Why" that is quite frustrating.

Whenever people ask my opinion about something, I can only do just that. Give them my opinion, and information that I have based on thoughts and experience of something. I cannot enlighten. That comes from within ones self, and not from others. I can point someone in the direction that I believe is a good thought process that worked for me, but I can't make anyone think. I can't change anyone, but I can help them see something that might make them want to change themselves. I can't tell anyone how to be in tune with themselves, but I can certainly let them know that it is a great thing, and it would be in their best interest to investigate, and be their own "Introspective Detective". But the most important thing I can tell someone to do is "Learn."

Learn yourself, learn about people around you, and yes learn about "The Universe" which to me is all of the intangible things that you don't necessarily see, but feel, because they exist. "The Universe" is an actual place, because it is in your heart and in your head, and all around you. It is bigger than you, but you are part of it. And all of us have a role in The Universe. And  the more you think about yourself, the more you realize that you are thinking about your role in The Universe. And as you think about that role, you will start to become enlightened, because you will see your place, and what you are supposed to do to leave a lasting footprint upon those you come in contact with, and even those you don't. And you will know what you have to do for yourself to achieve happiness. Then you can do two very important things. 1) Stop thinking about yourself, and 2)Start feeling good about yourself. You are your own house. Take care of it. Enlightenment begins at home.