Someone described what I do here as enlightening people. I don't see it that way at all. I appreciate the sentiment, but my goal is not to enlighten anyone because I can't. My goal is to present a particular point of view, and opinion that I have found true to my observations and experience. Someone else may have a completely different take about the same subject, and it is their right to have that. The main thing that I try to do here is present a piece of myself up to the microscope for examination. It's easy to form opinions about others, and interpret just what they do, but it is very hard to then look at those aspects and see various degrees of ones self. It is actually painful to do because sometimes what you see is not always joyous and pretty to look at. I often times as I write these Blogs, take opportunity to expand upon why something bothers me, or why a particular aspect makes me feel good or bad, and in order to do that I need to really examine my thoughts and my inner workings. I am not the holder, and purveyor of knowledge and wisdom, because I firmly believe that the more you think you know, the more you realize what you don't know. So my enlightenment is for myself, because it truly does begin at home.
There are introspective folks and there are people who are aware, but not necessarily searching all of the time. Both are fine. I happen to be of the first category, as I am always looking for something. Whether it be within, or without, I seem to be tormented by thinking too much. Mostly about myself and what I try to accomplish in this life. Other times about the universe and people, but either way, the faucet is always on. It is a tremendous challenge for me to not over analyze, question, and systematically break down things to find the essence of something to solve a problem, or digest situations. It is an effort for many people like myself to straddle the line between what is felt, and what is thought. Where we get into trouble is when we over think things instead of just feeling a situation, and letting it happen. Enlightenment is crucial to all who seek and search, because it is essential for the growth aspect of being. And in the process of growing, you discover new avenues of thought and action that can take one to the next phase of yourself.
I believe that everyone needs to know what makes themselves tick in some ways. What makes them happy, what annoys them, what drives them, etc... Not just those aspects of self, but the "why" factor. Why do they feel that way? Some folks never ask themselves about this hard question, and therefore often never fully correct mistakes in life, and often times repeat them over and over. If you know why you believe, think, or feel about something, you can really hone in on yourself, and work towards being the individual that you desire to be. It sounds deep, and complicated, but it really isn't. You don't have to be a Zen Buddhist to be introspective. Just know who you are, and ask why you are this being. I can't ask people this question, as I am constantly quizzing myself, but what I hope to do is perhaps inspire someone to do the same with themselves. I can enlighten no one, but I can show them that the discovery of ones self is an enjoyable process, that when set in motion is a wonderful journey. A journey with changes, and discoveries of layers, and hard to face revelations about ones self.
Each one of us is a constant work in progress with wonderful traits, and horrible flaws, and that will always be. No one is perfect, and not only that, no one is even close to perfect. We are balls of contradictions, fears, prejudices, and turmoil that we constantly are at war with, and there are bad choices, and questionable words, thoughts, and actions right around the corner daily that we might engage in. We all have stories, experiences, and our own set of values that we hold dear, and everyday there is something to learn if our eyes are opened enough. but enlightenment to me is not about discovering how the universe, and other people work. It's about discovering how ones self works, and figuring out just what type of footprint one would like to leave here when it's time to exit. Searchers, do this on a conscious level everyday, and sometimes can't get out of their own way for thinking too much. There truly is a "Why" to everything, but I have found out regretfully that sometimes as bad as you want it, that answer won't be shown to you for whatever reason. And for searchers whose main question is "Why" that is quite frustrating.
Whenever people ask my opinion about something, I can only do just that. Give them my opinion, and information that I have based on thoughts and experience of something. I cannot enlighten. That comes from within ones self, and not from others. I can point someone in the direction that I believe is a good thought process that worked for me, but I can't make anyone think. I can't change anyone, but I can help them see something that might make them want to change themselves. I can't tell anyone how to be in tune with themselves, but I can certainly let them know that it is a great thing, and it would be in their best interest to investigate, and be their own "Introspective Detective". But the most important thing I can tell someone to do is "Learn."
Learn yourself, learn about people around you, and yes learn about "The Universe" which to me is all of the intangible things that you don't necessarily see, but feel, because they exist. "The Universe" is an actual place, because it is in your heart and in your head, and all around you. It is bigger than you, but you are part of it. And all of us have a role in The Universe. And the more you think about yourself, the more you realize that you are thinking about your role in The Universe. And as you think about that role, you will start to become enlightened, because you will see your place, and what you are supposed to do to leave a lasting footprint upon those you come in contact with, and even those you don't. And you will know what you have to do for yourself to achieve happiness. Then you can do two very important things. 1) Stop thinking about yourself, and 2)Start feeling good about yourself. You are your own house. Take care of it. Enlightenment begins at home.
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