In our daily travels as human beings we may come in contact with quite a few people. In our lives if we are lucky that number may amount to a couple of hundred that we personally know. Each person that we deal with is different, and may have a different dynamic with you, that is unique to your particular history with them. They may be just acquaintances, or they may be an ex spouse. They could be people that you've been friends with for 30 years, or they could be someone whom you haven't known a long time, but have a nice friendship, or connection with. An important part of life's journey is figuring out what people to invite in your life, who to keep in your life, and who to toss away, and dismiss. People come and go and even stay in our lives for reasons seen, and unseen, and those folks have a direct effect sometimes on our moods, how we look for support and advice, and even how we make certain basic decisions like how we conduct ourselves. People in our lives have influence, just as we often influence them, and believe me if you have good people in your life it can be so much easier to deal with stress, pain, and other situations and dilemmas that life presents. But the key to all of that is rooted in who you decide should be part of your life, and that applies to directly, and peripherally.
Life is full of leeches, nut jobs, troublemakers, and drama queens just waiting to latch onto someone that can be a launching pad for their agendas. These folks always find ways to create an atmosphere of nonsense, as they seem to get caught up in all sorts of trouble that they helped to manufacture. They seem to go through life pissing and moaning, while backstabbing people that they call their friends when they have outgrown their usefulness, while slinking up to others that they can "befriend" because there is something that they want, or notice that they can use. These are the people you want to oust from your life because they create chaos, and turmoil. Their agendas are simple: "It's all about them." Often times someone with no self esteem will be caught up with these folks because these connivers pray on people who aren't that confident, or seem to be not as headstrong to fight them off. They sense someone like that, and when they get their claws into you, it is an effort to push them away, because they will always come back when they need something. Take a gander around you and spot these folks because they are everywhere, and they will make your life hell. If they are currently in your life, then they should be easy to spot, because when you see their name on your caller I.D. you may think to yourself, "Uh Oh..What now?", or when you go out with them somewhere you have to give them a disclaimer asking them to please not do that thing they did last time you were out, that caused embarrassment and trouble. Why would one want to invite this sort of shenanigans in their lives? Because people get confused as to who really SHOULD be in their lives, and they accept the idiocy, because of that confusion.
The folks that you want in your life should be people who lift you up, and listen when you have something to talk about. They should be folks who laugh, and can make you laugh, not because they are funny, but because they make you feel good about people and life. And when you feel good about those things, it is easy to laugh. Friends or acquaintances should be drama, and chaos free, as those are the things that cause depression, and feelings of wanting to be isolated. Good people in your life are there even when you don't speak to them for a long time. You can call, and say hello, and it's like you just spoke yesterday even though it could be years. They know that you are there, and you know that they are there for support, friendship, a laugh or smile, or a hand if you need it. They don't make you feel guilty for not calling, even though they haven't called, and they give you themselves as the most precious thing they have. As far as the folks that you may hang out with or spend time with, these folks don't ask you for anything. They give face time to you, and they are there if you need them to be. The folks that you want around you treat people how they want to be treated, and won't stand for nonsense around them. The reward is that the influence of these folks will lift your spirits, and make you a better person in the process, and it will go full circle. It definitely is true that influence is circular. If you hang out with shitheads, you in turn may gravitate to not only accepting their type of behavior, but exhibiting it yourself, therefore making you a shithead. Good people around you who don't accept nonsense, are a good example to be around. Your standards of behavior will be raised, and you in turn will not accept idiocy in your life.
Some people have the strange idea that someone who has hurt you emotionally should be cut out of your life completely. I reject that notion.Things such as breakups or divorces can put tremendous strains on the idea of still being friends afterward. But if you can rise above the pain, and realize that things didn't work out, the person that was once in your life can still be someone in your life at a different capacity..A friend. As long as there was no malicious behavior, devious activity, or physical abuse, the idea is for adults to grow, and deal with things like big people, So when lovers make the transition from intimate to friendship, it can be a way to grow, and have someone in your life that can enrich it in other ways.
You got good folks around you? Got to get them into your life. Got idiots and leeches in your life? Tell them to ease on down the road. The people you need to keep around, will in turn keep you around, and on the ground...... And the result could be that fun will be had by all.
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