Monday, April 9, 2012

Taught And Sold: Buying into teachable moments

The definition of the word "Teach" means to impart knowledge or skill, or to give instruction. A synonym of that means to "Inform, Enlighten, or School in some sort of manner". Which means one thing..There is supposed to be an absorption of knowledge that was once not there, and it is supposed to be used in a manner that will be beneficial in the future. There are times in our lives where we will be given new knowledge, or a variation of old knowledge, or information based upon people and moments that Criss Cross our lives, and make us who we are. Since we are all works in progress, we should always be on the lookout for these moments because they happen not only within our lives, but within the lives of others, and within events and happenings all around us that we can use as gauges of thought process. The teacher doesn't have to be an individual, as most times it seems, but the teacher that can give you the most enlightenment "Bang for your buck" can be moments in life that you can observe from the outside. Things that take place, and things that happen to other people can be a valuable lesson in how you react to your own particular situations, life events, and conflicts within those frameworks. Not only can these happenings benefit one person, if given an opportunity, they can benefit whole groups of people on different levels, because the identification of something can be an important lesson for future reference. And seeing how things can go wrong, is always a great motivation for laying the groundwork for things to go right.

The problem time and time again is one thing: The mouth. In order for something to be taught, and the receivers to learn, that means people have to just shut up long enough to think. The problem with us humans is that no matter how civilized, and dignified we claim ourselves to be, we are still emotionally driven, and prone to fits of flying off the handle, and shooting from the hip instead of taking a step back and rationally analyzing things. It is truly hard for teachable moments to occur when mouths are open, because that means that no one is listening or watching. That means that because of the din of noisemakers, nothing will get taught, and the thing that was once a teachable moment and preventable again, becomes full blown chaos with an ever increasing chance of repeating itself. This doesn't mean everyone. There are people who really do try to learn, in these moments, understand what the true essence is, and try to impart that knowledge to others, but because of the sheer vocal volume of a visceral few, these moments get lost, and the moment of people truly learning how to deal with the dynamics of one another gets lost within fear, anger, idiotic statements that cause mistrust, and bring old wounds to the surface. No one ever said that learning from these moments was easy, but it certainly doesn't have to be as hard and complex as it gets.

When dealing with people there is one thing certain..There will always be loudmouths, instigators, troublemakers, and attention seekers ready to drag situations and everyone else down to the only level of which they can relate to other people and situations. They claim that they are speaking their mind, but in reality, there is no mind process at all. There is a transmission of what they see, and hear that goes straight to their mouth. Even with the social networks such as Facebook, and Twitter, where a person has the advantage of thinking before they type something in, there still is no shortage of idiotic incendiary statements that don't help moments where perhaps a collective solution could happen for something when people come together. People just don't think before opening their mouths. Now I'm not saying that one has to walk on eggshells, and speaking ones mind should be respected, and admired, because as the saying goes, "If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything." But there is a way to effectively present ideas, conduct constructive conflict, and dialogue that is passionate, and thought provoking without idiocy, and belittling. Not only that, but this approach leaves yourself open to be taught, and grow. There is no growth to be had within the emotions of hatred, fear, paranoia, and acts of scapegoating.

There are moments all around us when we can say, "Here is the crux of the matter" and solve that, while leaving out the fluff of peripheral distractions that people have a tendency to get emotional about. It winds up not about the situation, but about them. I have heard so many people say about a situation, "Well I'm so pissed, if that was me, I would...." Well that's the first mistake because that really isn't empathy, it is insertion of ones self into a situation, and that response is probably not the best response. And that can do nothing except elicit emotion and then desire to be validated by others, so all of a sudden, you have 40 people creating chaos instead of one. No one can get taught if everyone thinks they are doing the teaching. The classroom becomes unruly, and no one gets an A because the fire alarm was pulled, forcing everybody to abandon the process of absorption.

With all the teachable moments that happen in our lives and all around us, what is being taught? Patience, Forgiveness, Tolerance..When to be silent, and when to speak up, constructive conflict, dialogue, how to deal with situations and people in a respectful manner, understanding who to associate with, and who to stay away from, and a host of other things that would make any person receptive to these teachings a well rounded 3 dimensional person. I am personally always amazed when people I know, and don't know seem to get dragged into the same situations that they said they would never in a million years be caught at again, or the same situations happen on the news that continue to happen over and over, like some insane instant replay. It seems that us as humans are just too stubborn to accept being taught by other people, moments in time, and situations. The same approach is destined for the same failure. It is in those teachable moments that defines who we are as people, and whether or not we can finally come together for the greater good of each other. We are all connected, and all part of a greater whole of what is around us. Good feelings spread quickly, but bad feelings are like jet fuel, igniting all around it. We must all take the time to shut up, listen, observe, and be taught, if we are to ever advance as individuals, and people as a whole.

 So take a step back before opening your mouth, and open your mind instead to think, and engage yourself in an assessment of what is happening, versus what appears to be happening, or what you want to happen. If you don't do any of those things, then whether it be an event in your life, in someone else's life, or some tragic event that destroys all hope of good will, it will have been a teachable moment where someone somewhere will shake their head and say...
."When will we ever learn?"

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