The biggest and hardest battle that can affect someone is not one between countries, or one between politicians, or even one between relatives. It is the constant battle of within. No one is completely full of wonderful goodness and unicorns, and if they tell you that, then they are full of something else also. Nobody can carry the weight of all goodness, nor can they shoulder all evil also. It's just too much, and unrealistic as a supposedly well adjusted, well rounded individual can portray. We all have that imaginary cartoon like Devil on one shoulder, and Angel on another. And they constantly are at war within us because what the average person thinks and believes often times contradicts itself at certain points. That's just the way it is because as I mentioned in earlier blogs, we as humans have suppressed our innate instincts, and constantly replace them with logic and reason, as we are on some weird quest to forget that we are animals. Evolved? Yes, but to just what, we haven't really figured out yet, because we still wage wars, we still kill, and we are still territorial in ways that remind us that we are not as far as we like to believe.
The personal battle on the inside is the one that is the most violent because some of the things that we want to be are in conflict with some of the things we do. We are all such a grand work in progress that our ideas about things can even do a 180 as we reinvent, and discover aspects of ourselves. There is no hiding place for the dual you, and you will have to wrestle with who you are quite a bit in life if you are going to do any growing. From the time we are born, ideas are placed in our heads about who we should be, and how we should act, and sometimes what we see contradicts that, so there is confusion. As we grow up and start formulating our own ideas, we sometimes purge the ones that were planted, and that's not necessarily a good feeling because we now have to question what we have absorbed into our consciousness and behavior. Then we feel the conflict because we wonder just how the hell we could have believed X Y and Z for so long. You start to question just who you are, and what you really believe, and you may even discover things about yourself that you just can't handle because you don't want to admit that it is really a part of you. There are those that figure this stuff out, and others who seek help, and still others who fall into some strange hole of themselves as they have to withdraw into themselves to regroup.
Talk to folks long enough, myself included I'm sure, and you will hear contradictions of what they believe.No one is completely consistent, because we are all 3 dimensional human beings with ideas of what is good, and bad, and sometimes there is plenty of grey area to be had. That doesn't make a person a flip flopping idiot, but it makes them someone with heart, and a perspective that encompasses both of themselves. It is truly hard to be an "As the crow flies" person on every subject, because people are slanted towards what they are because of what they feel. You can trap anyone's duality by playing upon how they feel, and how they are benefited by something. That is how we are. Constantly changing individuals with two sides fighting for control. That is the true balance of human beings, and that is why the most soulful and beautiful people are the most real. Because their dual duel makes them so.
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