Self esteem is such a funny thing. Too much of it can make you cocky, vain, and self absorbed. Too little of it can make you settle, have no confidence in yourself, invite people and situations in your life that do absolutely nothing but negatives. I see so many folks in the latter mode. The situations that have happened, and do happen in our lives can break us down and beat us to a pulp sometimes, and leave us wide open for the taking. It's so easy to be down on one's self, and just stop trying to get better, or demand better. It sometimes is a subconscious act because there are people who wouldn't know what better was if it was given to them in a box that said "Better stuff on it.They have been somehow programmed to accept that what they have, and situations that are around them are it, and they just plain settle for below standard anything unwittingly.
How that happens is because of two words..Self esteem. It could be so many things. Someone's self esteem may have been damaged badly, or they may not have had any at all, or they may have been told many things in childhood that stopped their self esteem in its tracks at one point. But level of acceptance, and self esteem go completely hand in hand. You've seen the same old relationship situations that happen because of low self esteem. Women and men who fall for the same old types of losers in different bodies, and get treated like crap, and just accept it, and fall for the next type of mirror image. They would never be attracted to someone nice, or have a stable relationship with someone with structure, because they consider that person "Boring". They actually like and would miss the excitement of wondering where that person is, or getting into fights, or the excitement of some relationship that really isn't, and being disrespected, all because in secret, their self esteem has told them that this is as good as it will get for them, and they should accept it. Sad, but absolutely true. Along with the person they choose to be with, come the individuals that they hang out with who also have the same mentality of accepting. Losers late in their years doing the same things, and acting the same ways that they were when they were in their teens or twenties. This mentality crosses genders, race, class, and age, and usually starts early in life, and just spirals from there.
The idea is to raise your level of acceptance as you get older, and wiser. This doesn't mean that one has to become a millionaire, nor is this about what income folks make, or what economic situation they happen to be in. it's about looking at yourself and your surroundings and recognizing nonsense when you see it. I'm not talking about fun. Everyone needs to have fun. I'm talking about not accepting nonsensical folks and situations that take the life out of you, and drag you down to a level where you say to yourself "How the hell did I get here?" Investing in your self esteem will help you to avoid people, places and things that are for the most part dead ends. When you finally say to yourself "I deserve better than this crap", the next phase is to act upon it, and purge all of the things that are dead weight, and take on the things that make you feel like you want to feel. As Zen Buddhism states, the two things that all peoples want are 1)Happiness, and 2)No suffering. You can achieve happiness by yourself. Most times there are others involved when you are miserable, and suffer. So why put up with it? Any little sign of nonsense, get rid of it. Anyone who brings you down, get rid of them.
Just start by looking in the mirror and saying, "I am important to myself. What do I want, what do I need, and what do I deserve? And then don't let anything get in the way of those answers. Move on up. To where? A new awareness of you, and what you can achieve, and who you want to be around you. For those with low self esteems really take a look at your situations, and ask yourself, "If my best friend were in this situation, what advice would I give?" Usually that will be what should be done. Make your level of acceptance higher, and your tolerance for nonsense will be lower. before you know it, your new self esteem will be what you always wanted it to be. And you'll wonder why it didn't happen sooner.
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