Musicians are very funny individuals when it compared to everyone else. We are fiercely independent, when it comes to our craft, but still sometimes need and desire the company of other musicians to carry out a particular vision. We are ritualistic in the way we learn, process, and execute music, and sometimes never waver from a particular way of doing things as long as we live. In our opinion, if it works, stick with it. If it no longer works, then the ritual is over, and a new one has to begin. We have narcissistic tendencies sometimes because it honestly takes that aspect of personality to perform with confidence, and skill, and think that people will enjoy it. if a musician does not have that quality, usually they will languish in a basement, or their room, and not say "screw it" sticking their neck out for people to possibly chop it off, but most can't ignore the call, and eventually get out there. It is a constant creative battle that we fight where desire for artistic statement, and wanting folks to like what they do come in constant clash with one another. These are the people I know and love to be around, and learn from. And it's the person I am also. Music is a passion that most times only other musicians get. Most times in life you really can't vent, and express your pain, anger, sadness, elation, and philosophies, but the musician is able to express all of that sometimes without a single word, and sometimes all in one performance. We rip ourselves open, and show the world just who we are in the barest and most naked form. No frills, no makeup to cover warts, and no filter. Just us.
That's where most musicians that I know are completely alike...Live. Playing in front of people live is what most musicians desire, and live for. Whether it be serenading one person, or playing in front of thousands, a musician gives some of themselves to the people they play for, and leaves that portion of themselves there with those people. There is no greater gift that a musician can give than their heart and soul in a performance. Whatever we are feeling that particular day, comes out in the open, and makes its way through our souls and to whoever is willing to receive it. It is live where we get to seduce, cry, scream, and tell our story through playing or singing. When you see a musician perform most times you are watching an exorcism. All of our locked up demons, and anguish can be purged from us as we publicly unleash our emotions. Live helps us to cope and live, and try to heal ourselves as we heal others. We perform a communion with other musicians, as if we are a legion of high priests, gathered to baptize those who have come to us.It is spiritual, sensual, and when all of the musicians are on the same wavelength, it is as raw and moving as emotion can get. I have been onstage almost moved to tears at just how wonderful something felt and sounded, and that I was emotionally ecstatic to be a part of at that moment.
people ask me all of the time if I get nervous before I play.The answer to that is yes and no. No because if there has been preparedness between all musicians and everyone knows their part in the communion, all things will come out fine. Yes in the aspect of right before the first note that I have to play, there is an incredible rush that I can't describe, sort of like the feeling you get almost falling backwards in a chair. Then after that first note it's gone, and I am in the moment of live, and much too busy to be nervous. Playing live is, and always will be king for musicians. It's in our blood, and makeup, and it is our passion. But should it not happen, playing in our rooms, or basements brings extensive joy, just because we can still perform the exorcism even if no one is listening.
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