Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Unbeknown To Us: Pissing someone off without a clue

It's a good thing to sometimes piss other people off. only because it means that you have possibly taken a personal  stand for something you believe in, or that you are not just a "Yes" person who agrees with everyone just because it's a path of least resistance. By pissing someone off, it means that you have a spine, and will probably not roll over and just take whatever someone wants to give you. Of course you have to have your facts straight and be able to articulate what you say, and not just be someone who disagrees without a constructive opinion. The definition of that is "Idiot". If you are going to piss someone off by disagreeing, then make sure you have 3dimensional thoughts as to why. It will just get you more respect in the  end, and you will sleep well as long as you understand that not everyone will like you, love you, or agree with you. But respect is an important equation in that mix that will get folks to leave you alone and accept your point of view.
There are often times though when for some reason unknown to us, by our actions, words or some intangible doing, we piss folks off and have no idea about it. We just go about our business not realizing that for some reason that we are unaware of  someone that is a loved one, friend, acquaintance, or even stranger is stewing, and calling us every name in the book under their breath. It happens in relationships all of the time where one person is tipped off that something is wrong by curt, monotone answers, and pursed lips. Once asked what's wrong, sometimes that person will say "Nothing", or the classic "If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you". It's amazing how us human beings are. We all want communication, but when the opportunity presents  itself to be the initiators we don't follow through. So often we stew, and resentments build and before you know it, some incredible wall has been built blocking someone off who is oblivious until it is too late for them to make amends. Of course in a relationship that needs to be addressed early, and quite a few couples get rid of the occasional unknown angst, only for it to rear its head again in another situation..Reality bites.
If there is absolutely one lesson that is essential in life for people to learn, it is that you cannot control other people's actions, reactions, and feelings. You can only control your own. You will often drive yourself nuts wondering, backtracking conversations, replaying scenarios in your head, and trying to read minds all in an attempt to "Fix" things.No one is a mind reader, and try as we may to speculate, the problem is usually never what we thought it was.That's when two little words come into play..."Screw it". If someone is pissed off at you, and hasn't told you, and has some resentment against you, then it is on them. Not you. With confrontation, most folks are passive aggressive, and figure that by not talking to someone, or ignoring them, or writing them off, they are getting even with them, but in reality they are showing just how petty, superficial, and childish they really are. You can tell by folks actions sometimes where they stand .If you are wise, just choose not to stand near them.
I have heard many times in my life from other folks that "So and So" is pissed at you, and in the past, my response if I didn't know was "Really? I had no idea", and my immediate reaction was to go and try to "Fix" things. I consider myself pretty approachable, and don't really get pissed off except when there is unnecessary nonsense involved so I have wondered why. But I have reached an age and point in my life now where unless it's someone I care about deeply like a relative, if someone is pissed at me, and I don't know why, and they won't tell me, then screw it. No one can change anyone else, or think for them. My tolerance for unnecessary nonsense is at an all time low, and I sleep better at night for it. So if you have found out, or heard that someone is pissed at you for some unknown reason, use the two little words, "Screw it" and go about your daily business. It's all on them. Don't make it about you. Stay silent, and stay sane.

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