No Heavy Petting Under The Tree: Don't make something alive a "thing" for Christmas

As this Christmas gets closer, I unfortunately overhear people mentioning to others about the wonderful Puppy, or Kitten or Bunny that they plan to spring upon their lovable child, and I'm sorry but I am repulsed by the idea. In a child's mind, Christmas is about opening present after present until there are no more presents left, and then as quickly as the high and rush of ripping open colored paper, and bows is over, then comes the almost depression and boredom that sets in when there is nothing else to see brand new. That is what children are, and it won't ever change, especially nowadays when they see this "thing", and that "thing" advertised on TV, making them almost rabid with desire for it, and for the love of God they must have it or they will die. A child being bombarded with that idea has absolutely no chance to resist, and to be fair here in America, having a childhood means enjoying the idea of getting presents for Christmas. I don't blame a child for that. That is our culture here that has been pushed and shoved onto us, as stores, and businesses try to make their yearly profits in one quarter. This concept of bombarding parents and children with "stuff" turns everything into objects, and as everyone knows, a month down the line, that "thing" that your lovable child wanted so badly has dust on it or the kid has just plain old misplaced it out of neglect, and is looking for the next "it" to get their hands on.  Some parents decide that boy it would be wonderful to get little Johnny or Janey a kitten, or puppy for Christmas, and that in my opinion is the last thing that needs to be gotten for anyone on Christmas let alone an impatient child.

When you bring a domesticated animal into your home, that is supposed to become a member of the family. Period.That means that that member of the family has roughly the same needs as anyone else. They need attention, love, patience, medicine or a trip to the doctor when they are sick, and protection from the elements. I can't speak for all children, but in the mind of a child, a puppy, or kitten on Christmas day equates to an object that when they get bored, they can just put it aside, and not look at it, or when they have something they feel that they need to do, they can not attend to the needs of the particular family member who needs the most attention, which by the way all of a sudden becomes not them. A living animal is not a good present at all to give a child, because in their mind it is just that..A present, and not a living breathing life force with feelings. parents make this tremendous mistake, and then of course that puppy or kitten who is not so cute anymore, or the novelty has worn off is now off to a shelter, or in some cases depending upon the thoughtless individuals involved, worse, such as abandoned, or given away to some other folks where treatment is below standard, and the poor animal lives a miserable life all because someone thought this life was a good idea to give as a Christmas present.
Am I being dramatic? To be frank, absolutely not. When you adopt a pet, and have children, make sure that child understands that this is now a member of the family, that needs care, and love just like they do. Children need to understand that the new family member is alive, has feelings, and can be a wonderful friend that can give joy. Presents should be just that..Things to be played with, and have as objects....A pet is not that, and 9 times out of 10, if you give a child a pet for a Christmas present, they won't be able to in their young minds separate the two concepts. That is not their fault, because most young children can't think 3 dimensionally just yet. It is up to parents to not put them in a position where that gets confused.

Also, It's never even a good idea to get an adult a pet for a present, because most people don't really understand that a certain match must be made regarding temperament, lifestyle, and needs of that particular animal..Most men would never buy a woman shoes correct? So don't presume to get an animal for someone without talking with them first.That animal might end up the same fate as the shoes..Back to where it came from, because they didn't fit, and it was the wrong style.

I have been fortunate enough to over the last 15 years to have been the daddy of many animals that I loved, and took care of, and each one that I was able to pet, and woke up to feed was special in their own right. I don't have children, but they were my children as they relied on me to feed them, notice when they were sick, give them attention, and a dry place to sleep. I am proud of what I did for them, and yes it took plenty of patience sometimes, and lots of time to take care of them, but they love unconditionally, and even if you are a complete asshole, your pet will love you like you are the greatest thing since Hot Pockets..It takes a real jerk to not respond to that type of love. That's what a child has to understand, so give a little separation from Christmas, before perhaps investigating getting another member of the family. Because that is what you are investing in. Not just some pet, but someone who will love you and possibly be able to be a long friendship for your child or children. Don't turn a life into a "Thing" for Christmas. By the way I learned these things through osmosis over the years of being around the most compassionate animal people I know, and that knowledge is invaluable to me. I hope I can pass on a fraction of what I learned.

Merry Christmas Folks!

Fire And Desire: The 900 lb Gorilla in the artistic room

Yesterday I sat and listened to a man talk about The arts, and just what people go through as being artists, and he used a very interesting analogy that I had never heard before. He stated that what all artists have, whether they be writers, musicians, painters, or sculptors is an inescapable piece of baggage that goes with them, and is part of them. It often isn't talked about, or flashed around like some wad of cash, or fancy ring. It is not visible, or can be detected by some survey, nor can it be swept aside and forgotten like junk mail. It is constantly present, and forceful, and is an aching burden upon all artistic minds. He called it "The 900 lb Gorilla in the room". And that gorilla is a bunch of things rolled into the artistic temperament. It is fire, desire, quest, ambition, focus, and a sheer powerful pull to do what is inside of them in the most raw, and unforgiving way possible. And I identify with everything that analogy stands for.

The Gorilla constantly needs feeding, or it will eat you itself. I can never turn off what I do, and I have sacrificed many things in order to feed my gorilla. And what I, and others who have artistic minds do is constantly be in the moment of somehow creating our art, even when we are not in a position to sit and create it. We think about it, we digest situations around us, and everything is a stimulus for what we do which is create, and apply. It is a constant on our minds even though we are in the moment of something else, we yearn for the moment where an idea, or epiphany of thought generates action to create. And when that happens, it is the most fulfilling sensation that we can ever feel because there is nothing better than the catalyst of thought being turned into something concrete, and part of ourselves. The gorilla is there present at all times, and often will take over and shield other aspects of our lives to be fed, and nourished. Anyone who creates, will understand and identify with what I'm trying to say. An artistic mind is quite different than the logical one of say a mathematician, or business executive. The artistic mind is constantly at war with itself and not logical problems that exist, or other people's minds. The war is creativity, and imagination of how it can operate outside the box and be different than others, and be even different than itself.  Sometimes to play music, write songs, or even write this blog, I am constantly taking mental footnotes, and twisting them around in my head so that I can use them later, sometimes playing tricks in my mind in the middle of a conversation so that I can remember what I have thought without being rude and writing it down.
I have sometimes been called distant, and often people want to know just what I am thinking, but the honest truth is that I don't know how to explain it to them, because I sometimes can't explain it to myself. I am constantly processing and creating in my head, and feeding the gorilla, so that he doesn't destroy me. Because if the artistic mind cannot create, or tries to deny what it is meant to do, then the gorilla will turn on the owner, and literally drive that person crazy. Why I get up in the mornings is for my love of music, writing, and creation. If I could not do any of those, I would probably become miserable, withdrawn, and ultimately not desiring the other aspects of life itself.  There was a point in my life where I tried to deny myself of what I do with the idea that I would just put everything away in my head, creatively, and musically, and just not have the desire anymore...That was very short lived as I was nearly depressed out of my mind, until my own gorilla saved me, and once I began to feed it, I became whole again.

It is a powerful aspect of us artistic minded folk that alienates some people, and draws others to us. And often as in the history of famous artists, musicians and writers, what they did sometimes made other things in their lives take a back seat. Things such as love, family, even in some extreme cases fresh air outside, have taken a secondary role to them feeding the gorilla. The pursuit of happiness is sometimes misguided as happiness may be right in front of them, but that is not the fulfillment that the gorilla wants. There is the balance if one can find it, but as this actor so accurately pointed out, it may never be enough.

I myself have an extreme desire to use my mind and gift that has been given to create something great. This has been my burden for as long as I can recall. It won't go away, and it is a heavy burden that I possess, because what is great? Great is subjective, and just because someone says something is great or bad doesn't necessarily make it so. The greatest novel in the world could possibly only sell 100 copies. The greatest song ever written could fall on deaf ears when heard. Great for the artistic mind is fulfillment. An inner peace of satisfaction that what came out of our minds was the best that we could possibly do has to be felt..And the sad thing is that even if we feel that, the opinion may change as we change. So it is true. It may never be enough, but we keep trying, and keep pushing for perfection within ourselves, and greatness of our souls, as we feed the 900 lb gorilla in the room of our minds. Artistic minded people are only humans who will eventually die like everyone else..But we want to create something...Anything that will help us to live forever. It is what we do, it is who we are, and it will either make us live, or help kill us, or both at the same time. I have to go now..I have just fed my gorilla, but he is hungry again...

Backseat Striving: Those who can't act, want to direct.

If you search Youtube, you will find recordings that people made of the great Jazz drummer Buddy Rich on profanity laced tirades to people. Someone left a tape recorder running, and upon first listen you would think that the man was an ogre, as he laid into members of his band for playing wrong notes, not playing pieces the way he wanted, or minor infractions like not shaving. Whenever these clips come into conversation, or if they are posted the comments are usually stuff like, "Boy that guy sure was a bastard", or "What a nasty individual", or things of that nature. But the absolute truth is that people are only listening on the surface to what he was saying. He may not have conveyed it tactfully, but the man was saying something very important, and truthful, and if you dig deep into his words, you hear one thing..Frustration. Buddy was basically telling the men in his band an important thing..He hired them. And he hired them to perform a task his specific way, and give their best in executing that particular task. If someone didn't like it, they were free to leave and do  what they want their way, but as long as they were in his band with his name on the marquis, they needed to perform, behave, and look exactly how he wanted them to. He was a man of hard work, and high expectations of performance standards. When someone didn't live up to those standards, it actually broke his heart, because they were not giving what he was giving. You could argue that the profanity was unnecessary but the message to me is crystal clear.

Which leads me to people of the same ilk today. There are folks all around who want to tell you what to do, how to do it, correct you if they think you are wrong, and just plain bitch and moan if you are doing it.Now it's ok to have an opinion about something, and even disagree with the way something is done, but the problem with some people is that they agreed to do something, be a part of something, or collaborate on something without necessarily being the leader of it. They then see that as carte blanche to usurp tasks that aren't even theirs in some effort of control or assertion. What's wrong with this? What's wrong is that the person had ample opportunity in life to perform the particular task, and be a leader, but chose not to. Yet they chastise, confront and disrespect the leader of what they could have led long ago. As I've said before, there are some people who are more afraid of success than failure. They self sabotage themselves, and hide behind the idea that they weren't meant to be successful. Yet they want to tell everyone who will listen just how to do something that they claim they have failed at, or have just never tried to be successful at.

We all have opinions, and that is important, and sometimes those opinions will rub people the wrong way. If you are not rubbing someone the wrong way, then you are what's called a "Pander Bear" going along with everyone on things of belief, in order to not offend anyone. Nobody has any respect for such a thing, and it's really all right to have constructive confrontation once in awhile. But there comes a time when you have to keep your mouth shut because if you want things done the way you want them done, then you have to be proactive and go do it, and not wait for someone to come along so that you can tell them just how wrong they are doing something. Many of us have ambitions, and goals, and some form of leadership skills to a degree. Why not start something, execute something, or be a leader of something that you firmly believe in? For some people it is just way too easy to step into a ready made situation, and critique it, belittle it, or tear it down, as opposed to shutting up and executing the part that they were asked to do.

Before you say "I will do this" really think about things...."Is this the thing you want to do?" Can you be happy doing this?" "Will you be happy taking direction?" "If there is a problem, will you be satisfied to voice your opinion, but not necessarily get your way?" "Do you believe in this?" If the answer is no for any of these questions then don't be a part of that operation, and think about perhaps starting your own, where you can get things done your way.
I have a friend who runs a bar. People come up to him all of the time in the bar with a sentence that starts off, "Ya know what you should do?" They then begin to tell him of changes he should make to his place of business. Before they can finish he says, "Well what do you do in YOUR bar?" They are then speechless, and then confess that they have no place of business..My friend then says, "Well why don't you buy a bar and do that, and then I'll come and see how you do it." That's it in a nutshell. it's ok to have an opinion, but there is a way to not be "Backseat Striving" and tell people what to do, when you have the ability to be a leader yourself, but choose not to be.
This is particularly true in bands, business, households, and a host of other points where a person has an opportunity to lead by example. Now obviously I'm not talking about things such as Governments, or global operations. We all have opinions about those, but not everyone has the means to get within that circle. So we as humans will bitch about the President or something else that we probably can't have a leadership role in, and that's all right too. That's what we as humans do. But I'm talking about the things in life that you have direct control over and can have a direct influence on in a leadership way, and not a backseat chirping way. That is frustrating now, just like it was frustrating to Buddy Rich.

You have the power. Do your thing the way you want,and stop trying to sabotage someone elses operation. Even if you agree to do something, and you become unhappy, just say that, and then leave, but don't Backseat strive, and try to lead a situation when you can't even lead YOUR situation. People will get fed up, and out the door you will go. But the sad part is that these people will be Backseat Striving nomads, and they will be off to the next thing bitching and moaning and sabotaging in some twisted ego driven assertion tour. Good luck when you encounter them. You're going to need to keep your hands on the wheel, as you reach over to push them out the door.

The Family Stone: The deep ties around our necks or hearts

While visiting down South this past Thanksgiving I had time to enjoy the company of my family, and hear lots of stories, although some I've heard many times before, but fascinating still, and share in the psychological communion that is present between family members. The most delicate relationships that anyone  has are with their family members. The reason is that there is so much history and emotion involved that the relationship has more at stake than any other one that can be manufactured. You are connected to the family history whether you know all of the players or not. Often you can see yourself in the eyes of people in a photograph 30 years before you were born, and if you look closely you can see your mannerisms present in both the men and women that you may have just met for the first time. It is both gratifying, and eerie at the same time, as we seem to see ourselves, our parents, our siblings, and all of our history mirrored right before us, and staring at us asking us to be connected yet develop our own identities. When we try to achieve those things sometimes there is disruption, bickering, confusion, and anger all within the circle that is supposed to be full of unconditional love and solidarity.

Within everyone's family there are caretakers and thieves, hard workers, and freeloaders, success stories, and abject failures, Those who speak the truth, and blatant liars, diplomats, and trouble makers, and those who forgive incidents, and those that will never live an incident down. The characters that reign throughout all of our families are vast, and make us go through the range of emotions from absolute love to a teeth grinding hatred. I would love to say that I absolutely get along with everyone in my family, but I would be a hypocrite as there is a relative that I have purposely decided as of now to never speak to again, and I don't lose sleep over it, and I'm sure that relative doesn't lose any sleep either.I am not proud of this aspect, but I understand how it got to this point, and I have decided to let it stay where it is. This is the deep fragile type of relationship that I am referring to when it comes to family, because sometimes that type of thing can split a family into different camps and factions, and before you know it, what was once the center of the family is now undetectable and broken, and then there are different reunions, different places of gathering for the holidays, and different everything until it morphs itself into different families altogether, and not one unit.

The problem with individuals in the family is that everyone wants to be a part of the history, or claim the historical aspect for their own purposes. I don't care who you are in this country, everyone, and I mean everyone has a rich history. Whether your relatives were born here, or came here from overseas, the rich history of this country is in its individuals, and their individual contributions whether those contributions be great and noteworthy, or just outright despicable, the history of this country is in all of our individual families. People want to feel connected to a history of any sort sometimes, and family is often the closest that we can get to the feeling that we are imbedded in the tapestry that is that powerful word: "History". So when family members mess up, cause trouble, don't get along with one another, or break the family circle in the quest for their own individual agenda, we often feel like they are taking a piece of history away from us, and rewriting their own version.
But Family are often the only people that we have the desire to place trust in, because they sometimes seem to be the only thing that separate us from being alone in the cold world. You need them, and sometimes they need you, and there are often times when they annoy you to no end, and baffle the crap out of you, but when you stop and really think about it, the truth is that they are you in some form. If you are annoyed, then possibly there are people who feel that way about you for the exact same reasons. Families are reflections of us, good and bad, and if we learn to accept both aspects, we can understand our own history, and how to replicate the good, and not duplicate the bad. The ties are deep and give our hearts plenty to be joyful about, or if there is angst, plenty of weight on our necks. But for better or worse, your family is part of your connection to the past, and often a sneak peek into the future.
If you love your family, take plenty of pictures, listen to plenty of stories, and receive plenty of wisdom.  Precious times are fleeting times, and valuable moments in life are usually filled with characters from your family. Perhaps one day you will be the elder who is dishing out wisdom, or relaying a laughter filled tale, or you will be the bridge to someone who wants to know the history of the family. A person's confidence on this earth is usually depended upon just how valuable they feel in the scope of things. A well grounded family who knows that history, can give that confidence, and provide you with a niche..Even when the rest of the world doesn't seem to have a place for you.

Curious About The Nefarious: Wondering why people use energy for bad

There was a recent article that came out with an interesting statistic. About 80% of the stuff that travels through the internet is garbage. Spam, viruses,  and useless garbage that people put through it to try to trip everyone up. The Government has stated that if a handle is not gotten on this, that soon the internet will be practically useless. Whether that is true or not is up for debate, but I can honestly say that if the prospect of your computer crashing, or you getting a virus, or your identity getting stolen every time you get on, this would deter you from even wanting to obtain info from the web. Think of just how smoothly the internet would run if it wasn't for all the garbage that people send through it to mess up your lives..It would be a dream. I thought of that very thing, because that applies to the bigger picture in life, where life would be so wonderful if people did what they were supposed to do, and stop wasting energy on the nefarious behavior.

There are so many brilliant people out there, but the sad thing is that they are split into two camps..Those that do what they are supposed to do, and those whose sole mission seems to be taking from those very people.  All of us at one point have known or seen an individual who has been caught doing something, or incarcerated for trying to scam someone, or get over on some scheme that was both brilliant and elaborate, but illegal. And we have all probably said the same thing about those particular individuals.."If so and so would just put their mind to good use, they would probably be a major success." It's sad when anyone has to think or say that about someone, because that means that a perfectly good mind is being wasted in the name of trying to get easy money, or things that are flat out not theirs. It is annoying to an extent because everyone has a mind that can be developed, and given an opportunity, can flourish, and drive a person to do things and reach heights that they didn't think possible. But there are exceptional minds out there already ahead of the game and the table in life is set for them to just use that brain to think things and achieve goals that others just can't get to, and yet they use their talent for devious purposes. Frustrating to see.

Most people are afraid of failure, as no one wants the humiliation of having tried something, only to see it crumble in their hands. But folks who are very intelligent and who undertake illegal operations, seem to have a multi branch problem that stems from one simple tree: They are afraid of success. Not only are they afraid of success, but their mind tells them that the road to success is a boring one that doesn't have as lucrative a payoff. They seem to see people working hard as fools or stooges, and in their twisted outlook, what they are doing makes them smarter, and more efficient than someone following the rules. They seem to believe that rules are for suckers, and any way around the system validates how smart they are compared to everyone else. It is exciting to them to play the underhanded game, and the rush of sneaking and taking what's not theirs, or tripping people up, outweighs the seeming boredom that would engulf them if they followed rules. It is a twisted mentality that constantly justifies itself when the person manages to beat the system, and take things, or makes a handful of money illegally. They seem to love the idea that  they not only know the legal way to do things inside and out, but that knowledge has advanced them to the elite and they can use it to beat a system that they say they can't stand.

Bullies that grow up mentally taking things from people are a pain because they are smart enough to know who is weak, and who they can manipulate. They grow up to be adults who take identities, scam the elderly, create computer viruses, or just plain live off the work of others. They can't follow the rules because they are lazy, and believe that what they do to beat the system takes less work, when in reality it takes more, because they are constantly looking over their shoulder to make sure that no one is on to them. If they would just use the brilliance that they have to do good things, they would probably be millionaires many times over, but dirty money is more appealing to them, because dirty money is wonderfully exciting money, and tripping people up gives them the self esteem that they look for because they are afraid of both failure and success through legal means.

Because these people are out there, and constantly working, it puts everyone in jeopardy, and makes us all work harder to protect the little things we do have. Once again life proves that a handful of people can make life so difficult for all involved. It is always a treat when people like this are taken down and caught, but it is such a shame because there goes a mind that was brilliant enough to make a positive contribution to society, and may have solved some major ill plaguing all of us. Whether it be an invention that helps make the world better, the intricate knowledge of a system that they could have improved for everyone, or a business that they could have run employing people, and creating a product that would have made them millions, these people missed opportunities of being described by the word "Greatness", and instead are labeled by the word "Notorious". Why do these people use their energy and talents for bad? Because to them it is good, and their predator stance is that they are the strong, and fit, and everyone else are the weak. Well I certainly disagree, because I know some fine people who follow the rules, and are quite successful, and I consider them very strong for doing so. It takes strength to climb uphill and try to do the right thing and be successful. Given the opportunity to do the right thing, and look at ones self in the mirror, or do the wrong thing, and achieve things that aren't really yours, human beings are funny creatures, because the choice they make will sometimes depend upon the balance of circumstances and ethics, and sometimes that scale is tipped the wrong way.

To me, I feel that the important thing is to be able to sleep at night, and look at myself in the mirror knowing that whatever I have that I claim is mine, was obtained by the right means. I spend my energy trying to get something in a way that I can be proud of, and if I don't get anything, then I can still sleep at night knowing that whatever world I created for myself is my world and not part of someone else's. The people who put their energy towards nefarious activity would never be satisfied with just themselves, and could never be happy with the little things in life that are relished, like integrity, honesty, fairness, and generosity. Their world is one of greed, conniving, and selfishness.
So the next time you encounter one of those brilliant folks who just can't follow the rules, don't even bother to ask them in what world are they living where they thought what they did was OK. Just know that it's not the one most people live in..And be glad of that.

Feelings, Whoa, Whoa Whoa! : Necessary lapse in synapse.

 In a Star Trek movie, Spock was relearning his education. And as he rattled off many questions of physics, mathematics, philosophy, art, and poetry, the computer asked him a simple question.."How do you feel?" He didn't understand the question, and Spock's mother who was human tried to explain that it was an easy question to answer, and that he should be able to answer it. He couldn't still.

A few people have told me that they liked my blogs, but that my Blogs are sometimes a little too cerebral. Looking back on some of them, I would have to say that I agree to an extent. When I set out to do these Blogs, it was a way to write about what I observed and thought about people and the world around me. I made the conscious effort to get away from feelings, and just state things, but maybe I went a little too far, and took most of my heart out of the picture. I save my feelings for writing songs, and whatever I have done in journals, but I should possibly consider inserting bits of my heart into the picture. Putting feelings out there for consumption is always a hard thing to do for anyone let alone myself, because feelings are Sometimes open windows that you are undressing on front of, and not many are fond of that type of exposure. That said, there have been times during writing these that I have wanted to perhaps convey my feelings of a matter instead of my thoughts and have rejected it because I have thought feelings in the matter irrelevant.

People that really know me and have for years, are aware that I have strong feelings no matter which way it is. If I am happy, then it is obvious. If I am upset, or angry, I feel it very strongly although it takes awhile to break through because I know as everyone else does that negative feelings mean negative actions. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and many folks have seen many dirty sleeves. I have known and experienced some really great things in life, and I have experienced sadness that I would never want anyone to experience, although looking back on those episodes of sadness, I never would be the person I am today without them. I have thought that somehow each incident took a piece out of me, and turned me into someone who was a bit jaded, and who thought more, and felt less. That was not my plan, but that is how life works sometimes, as each of us react to things differently, and our feelings change, and for some feelings wane, or disappear altogether. I have the good fortune, of being able to see things, and hear things in vivid color, as my world of music and being around people is rich in inspiration for me. I don't run out of ideas easily, because as life continues, and I get the opportunity to speak, and deal with people, my inspiration for ideas is always there.
I may not seem to feel to some, but I do, as I feel empathy for people who just want the regular things in life, and are trying, but just can't achieve them. I feel sorry for those that can't seem to identify with those people. Part of losing touch with ones self, is losing touch with the plight of others.


I feel heartbroken for those who watch a loved one dying, because it takes me back to a time when someone I loved greatly was leaving this earth slowly, and painfully, and I was helpless to stop it.
I feel absolute rage when I hear about child or animal abuse because to me those people are the lowest forms of bullies on the planet. Ones who don't have the balls to attack someone that can hurt them back.
I have a low tolerance for idiocy, and I feel dismissive towards people who make life hell, and chaotic for others, and I feel zero respect for people who use other people for their own agendas. I feel annoyed at people who blow hard, and believe they know it all, and who like to disagree just for the sake of confrontation.
But on the other end of the spectrum, I feel the happiest when I am creating, or playing good music. It makes me feel alive, and when I hear good music for the first time, there is a rush of excitement in me akin to seeing the Rockies for the first time. I feel love and appreciation towards many friends and family and extended families that I have been fortunate to be a part of. Everyone in my life that is still there, has has had some sort of influence, in my outlook, my behavior, or my thought process, and I thank all of them, and you who fit into that category for that.
Growing up an only child led me to the process of being a thinker, and searcher, and I can't turn that off. But that doesn't mean that I don't feel. I feel very strongly, and very clearly, and yes sometimes I am selfish with my feelings, because they are the only things that I own outright. I hold on to my feelings, as I do my hopes and dreams because if you give up your dreams, then you have given up altogether. I hope that everyone gets to feel the things that I have felt in life..Hope, Love, Heartbreak, Passion, Intense drive, and even the negative feelings such as Anger, Disappointment, Contempt, and even Hatred. It takes experiencing those feelings to make one understand them, and thus understand ones self. When one understands themselves, they can enjoy the journey, of trying to be a better person. That journey never ends if you know just what you are feeling. The person who feels, is the person who cares..And believe me I do. Maybe you will see more of that in these Blogs. I have shared lots of thoughts and lots of ideas with different people, and each one has made me think and feel, whether it appeared that way or not. The part of my processing ideas is taken up by search, discover and analyze..Maybe feel should be one of the first things that happens also.

After a harrowing adventure where Spock learned lessons about himself, and others around him, he told his Vulcan father to give his mother a message.."Tell Mother I feel fine."...I agree.

Got To Get You Into My Life: People you need to keep around

In our daily travels as human beings we may come in contact with quite a few people. In our lives if we are lucky that number may amount to a couple of hundred that we personally know. Each person that we deal with is different, and may have a different dynamic with you, that is unique to your particular history with them. They may be just acquaintances, or they may be an ex spouse. They could be people that you've been friends with for 30 years, or they could be someone whom you haven't known a long time, but have a nice friendship, or connection with. An important part of life's journey is figuring out what people to invite in your life, who to keep in your life, and who to toss away, and dismiss. People come and go and even stay in our lives for reasons seen, and unseen, and those folks have a direct effect sometimes on our moods, how we look for support and advice, and even how we make certain basic decisions like how we conduct ourselves. People in our lives have influence, just as we often influence them, and believe me if you have good people in your life it can be so much easier to deal with stress, pain, and other situations and dilemmas that life presents. But the key to all of that is rooted in who you decide should be part of your life, and that applies to directly, and peripherally.

Life is full of leeches, nut jobs, troublemakers, and drama queens just waiting to latch onto someone that can be a launching pad for their agendas. These folks always find ways to create an atmosphere of nonsense, as they seem to get caught up in all sorts of trouble that they helped to manufacture. They seem to go through life pissing and moaning, while backstabbing people that they call their friends when they have outgrown their usefulness, while slinking up to others that they can "befriend" because there is something that they want, or notice that they can use. These are the people you want to oust from your life because they create chaos, and turmoil. Their agendas are simple: "It's all about them." Often times someone with no self esteem will be caught up with these folks because these connivers pray on people who aren't that confident, or seem to be not as headstrong to fight them off. They sense someone like that, and when they get their claws into you, it is an effort to push them away, because they will always come back when they need something. Take a gander around you and spot these folks because they are everywhere, and they will make your life hell. If they are currently in your life, then they should be easy to spot, because when you see their name on your caller I.D. you may think to yourself, "Uh Oh..What now?", or when you go out with them somewhere you have to give them a disclaimer asking them to please not do that thing they did last time you were out, that caused embarrassment and trouble. Why would one want to invite this sort of shenanigans in their lives? Because people get confused as to who really SHOULD be in their lives, and they accept the idiocy, because of that confusion.

The folks that you want in your life should be people who lift you up, and listen when you have something to talk about. They should be folks who laugh, and can make you laugh, not because they are funny, but because they make you feel good about people and life. And when you feel good about those things, it is easy to laugh. Friends or acquaintances should be drama, and chaos free, as those are the things that cause depression, and feelings of wanting to be isolated. Good people in your life are there even when you don't speak to them for a long time. You can call, and say hello, and it's like you just spoke yesterday even though it could be years. They know that you are there, and you know that they are there for support, friendship, a laugh or smile, or a hand if you need it. They don't make you feel guilty for not calling, even though they haven't called, and they give you themselves as the most precious thing they have. As far as the folks that you may hang out with or spend time with, these folks don't ask you for anything. They give face time to you, and they are there if you need them to be. The folks that you want around you treat people how they want to be treated, and won't stand for nonsense around them. The reward is that the influence of these folks will lift your spirits, and make you a better person in the process, and it will go full circle. It definitely is true that influence is circular. If you hang out with shitheads, you in turn may gravitate to not only accepting their type of behavior, but exhibiting it yourself, therefore making you a shithead. Good people around you who don't accept nonsense, are a good example to be around. Your standards of behavior will be raised, and you in turn will not accept idiocy in your life.

Some people have the strange idea that someone who has hurt you  emotionally should be cut out of your life completely. I reject that notion.Things such as breakups or divorces can put tremendous strains on the idea of still being friends afterward. But if you can rise above the pain, and realize that things didn't work out, the person that was once in your life can still be someone in your life at a different capacity..A friend. As long as there was no malicious behavior, devious activity, or physical abuse, the idea is for adults to grow, and deal with things like big people, So when lovers make the transition from intimate to friendship, it can be a way to grow, and have someone in your life that can enrich it in other ways.

You got good folks around you? Got to get them into your life. Got idiots and leeches in your life? Tell them to ease on down the road. The people you need to keep around, will in turn keep you around, and on the ground...... And the result could be that fun will be had by all.

How Does It Feel To Want? :Heart, Mind, and Soul all in cahoots

Wanting something has got to be one of the most taxing feelings that a person can have. Even if that desire is fun, exciting, beneficial, etc...The desire to want is extremely draining because in order for you to pursue the "it" or achieve the "it" you have to be sold on it all the way through. By "all the way through" I mean there are three things that have to be in alignment. And those are the heart, mind and soul. If one of those isn't on the same page, then what you go for, or try to do will be a failure. It just won't work.

Often times we say that we want something, and decide to go forward with the challenge of moving forward to having it. As people, we have a tendency to believe that everything will work itself out if we just pursue something. We sometimes think that the want is good enough, and the rest will sort itself out. The problem then becomes one of dynamics, because there may be more to pursuit than originally thought. Objects on the other side of the glass are larger, and more complicated than they seem. There are pitfalls, compromises, weighing pros vs. cons, and just plain frustration, but the bottom line is that in order to really turn the want process into the motion of getting process, one has to have all three aspects firing on all cylinders. When one is out of whack, it can turn the simplest aspects into major complicated fiascoes. This applies to everything from trying to achieve dreams, to making relationships work. To "want" means to put these 3 aspects that we all have, into motion to block out everything that can cast fear, doubt, and hesitation. It is those feelings that prevent us as people from transferring the desire and want stage to the actual getting and achieving stage.

The main problem for all of us as people is that we sometimes don't realize that one of these things isn't sold on the idea. We often wonder why something isn't working, or why things are not running as smooth as they should. We feel that we have the desire, we feel that our mind is focused, but we often forget that the heart and soul often rule the subconscious, and if the heart and soul are not buying it, they will often play tricks with the mind, and sabotage the whole thing. Tricky? yes, but it really is how things work, and no matter what you do to combat it, you will never achieve what you want until you can win over those aspects of yourself. All of us have been guilty of some form of subconscious sabotage at some point, and it really does considerable damage to what your conscious tries to do. The simplest things become complex agendas, if there is conflict within yourself and what your conscious wants, and what your subconscious refuses to buy into. I label the mind as the conscious part because our minds really are the things that talk to us and say "You want this". But the subconscious in my opinion is really the joint effort of the heart and soul because those are really the things that govern your actions..Your mind can tell you to do something all day long, but if your heart and soul aren't willing, then you will be disappointed...And the key word after that sentence is "always".

What is the answer? Well there is not necessarily an answer as there is an important question. The question usually is "Why?" Why are those aspects of self not buying into the "want" column? It's hard enough to read what your mind is telling you. Reading what your subconscious heart and soul is trying to reveal can be like solving a Rubik's Cube. There is a solution, but you will have to go through all sorts of turns and twists to figure it out...Or you may be able to figure it out very easily. But that doesn't mean that it will change. It just means that you have clarity on why, and this knowledge will help you to make decisions, and no matter what, the decisions help with the big picture of what you do or don't want. Whatever your roadblocks are to getting what you want, or believe you want, you will have to know what they are to either clear them, or accept them, but the road must be clear in order to drive to the "it" that you have in your sights. or you will dodge, make excuses, sabotage, whatever phrase you can think of that describes systematic avoidance. Everyone, including yours truly have engaged in systematic avoidance. It is part of the complex nature of human beings in their quest for a balance between thinking and feeling.

The initial "How does it feel to want" feeling is a great feeling. It's the other things that come into play that often times ruin it. Whether they be historical things associated with fear, anger, past disappointments, whatever, humans build subconscious walls of protection to insulate themselves from exposure. It's breaking that wall down that is the hardest thing that anyone can do to achieve their wants, erode fears, allow people in their lives. But the Heart, Mind and Soul must be in tune with one another to make these things happen. If any one of those is out of sync, and not on board, you will not only never get what you want, you will screw up what you have.

Encroachment: The not so innocent boundary crossers

Over the weekend I happened to be in a rehearsal studio with a bunch of folks playing music, and the time slot that was designated and was paid for by the person who booked it was coming up. So with about 5 minutes left we all began to pack our things, and get out of dodge. When the gentleman who was running the place at the time came out he seemed pleasantly surprised, and he said something I found astonishing. He said "Thank you folks for leaving on time. I usually have to twist arms, and break balls to get some bands out of here when they are supposed to leave." I looked at him and then my friend and we were both completely shocked. It was insinuated that some bands who book time there always try to milk out more time than what they paid for. On the way home I couldn't stop shaking my head, because this is inconceivable to me. Time was booked from something O'clock to something else O'clock, and when your time was up, it was time to leave, because that's what you agreed to do, and what you paid for. I couldn't stop thinking about this little issue, and all of a sudden it hit me why it bothered me so much. Right then is when I thought of Those people that encroach.

To some that particular incident may not be much, and people may be wondering what the big deal is, but the simple fact is that those types of people are the worst kind, and that little act is symptomatic of more things that happen. Most people observe boundaries for the most part. When asked to do something by the rules we all have instances of pushing the envelope, but if that is usually when it doesn't involve anything but circumstances. When other people are involved, usually reasonable people don't like pushing their agendas of encroachment on others. It's human nature to push certain envelopes, but for the most part given rules, and the option to do the right thing, people will choose the right thing, and obeying the rules. The thing about people who practice encroachment is that the little things that they try to cross boundaries for, involve others, and they just don't care. They are always trying to get something extra at the expense of others. And it's usually not because of the lack of ability to achieve something, but just the sheer laziness of preparing themselves to do what is asked by the rules, or someone else.

Boundary crossing by people who encroach is a way to just avoid doing what is asked, or respecting other people who may have a particular stake in something, such as a project, time to be somewhere, or have something done, or obeying laws or rules that are put in place to assure equal opportunities for others. People who encroach want what they want, and others be damned. And instead of doing what they are supposed to do, they nitpick and nitpick at pieces of other people's rocks until they take over that space, or that idea, or that time slot. Why is it an issue? Because the little things such as going past a designated time slot get manipulated into bigger things like taking something from others, because they can. The major reason why this world is so screwed up, is because of the 20% of encroaching people in the world not following the rules that the rest obey. So those 20% cause 80% of the problems. And those people are who their kids learn from, and their kids think it's OK to encroach, and before you know it you have more shitheads just making it difficult for everyone else. And it all stems from little incidences such as pushing for more time than what you pay for.

As I have said before..Situations are easy. People make them difficult, and complicated, because someone is always looking beyond what is supposed to be done, to some other scheme that can benefit them, when if they just engage in what is agreed upon, and supposed to happen, then they would benefit greatly. If they can't adhere to what's supposed to be done, then be honest with themselves and others, and say that they can't honor this particular thing, and excuse themselves. Which would of course not involve angst or agitation from anyone else. It is worse when of group of encroaching folks get together because now there is encouragement, in numbers and and an idea that, "We are right, so we are not obliged to follow the rules". These folks are rampant pains in the asses on society, because they just don't get it. They don't get the idea that what they do affects others, and they can't wrap their minds around the concept that they could possibly be wrong, and or even crossing some boundaries.

So when the manager of the rehearsal studio mentions that he has to break balls to get people out on time, I can't help but imagining those people leaving the studio, and creating chaos for others just because they like to push, and cross boundaries that they shouldn't. When that happens, it's up to those who obey the rules to push back, and tell the encroaching ones to go screw. They are not innocent. They know what they do, and they will continue, and then they will teach others to do the same. This world would be so wonderful if people followed the rules, and did what they said they were going to do, and didn't drag everyone into their fiasco methods of trying to get more than what they are supposed to have. Sometimes boundaries have to be pushed to make something better. Other times just because they can be pushed, doesn't mean that they should be pushed. People who are for the advancement of humanity are in the first category. People who are out for themselves are usually in the second. And the second group causes way more trouble than just stealing time from a studio..They throw their elbows in the face of all of us....As they try to look out for the only people who matter in their eyes...Themselves.

Does Anybody Remember Laughter?: Funny Vibes

Yes it is a damn serious world out there. There are murders, people are going through hard economic times, there are folks trying to scam others, and there are environmental disasters where people lose everything, and sometimes die. That should never be lost on our minds, as we go about our daily business. There is pain, and suffering in this world, and since we are in the age of technology where the world is at our fingertips, we sometimes witness horrors as they are happening, or just moments afterward. It is depressing sometimes to read things in the paper, watch news, or even talk to some folks who are in dire straits. as I have stated plenty of times before, and I will say it again..We are all connected as human beings, and adversity, pain, and sadness don't discriminate. Events in the world, the country or even one's own neighborhood can be a minefield filled with things that trigger depression, cynicism, and just a piss poor outlook on life itself. And seeing how people behave to one another can really make one blow their gasket. I see it all of the time daily in person, and even on Blogs, or Facebook where people are sometimes real bastards to other folks just because they feel like being so. It really unnerves me sometimes, and I have to exercise restraint from getting into altercations of my own. It wears on the one thing I have that I believe we should all exercise and make bigger..A sense of humor.

Laughter truly is the best medicine for the ailments that plague all of us everyday at some point. It is vital to be able to laugh, and share laughter, because it is a release. A special kind of release that kind of says everything is ok because I can laugh. There are some things that are definitely not appropriate to laugh at, and we all have common sense enough to figure them out, but there are quite a few things to laugh at that don't seem like it, but if looked at the right way can be amusing, and ironic. Having a sense of humor is serious business, because life and people will wear you down, worry you, piss you off, and create all sorts of health issues for you as a result of stress, and turmoil. Sometimes you have to just stop, and decide that there is no more room for negative emotions concerning an issue, and think of the humor that may lie within it. There usually will be some humor present because life and people are full of contradictions, and polar opposites no matter how consistent they try to be. So knowing that, when you can laugh, you are being more realistic than others because you are basing a majority of situations in a more realistic light. Laughing does not mean that you are dismissing a situation necessarily, because if a situation exists in a serious fashion, there will be plenty of opportunities to dwell on the heaviness of it. There needs to be a moment to lift that weight, and relieve ones self of the burden if only for a moment, so that when the burden resumes, it can be shouldered a little better.

Whenever possible laughter should be a part of someone's ritual for being because there is enough pain, and sadness to go around for all of us to share many times over, so those humorous moments are crucial for well being. The best comedians are able to take the sadness in their lives, and how they see the imperfections of themselves, and others, and transfer them to laughter, making us see some of the absurdities in life. We must all be able to do that sometimes instead of complaining, and singing "woe is me" to anyone who will listen. Laughter does so many things..It breaks the ice between strangers, it cleans up bad thoughts towards other people, because you really have to be an ogre to have evil thoughts about someone that you just shared a hearty laugh with. And it makes one vulnerable because sharing a laugh means that guards were let down, and you may see someone as human, and not just as some person who is not you.

Anyone who knows me personally knows that I love laughter, I love jokes, and I can often laugh not only at others, but myself as well. You have to be able to laugh at yourself, because if you look deep within and see all of the imperfections, contradictions, fears, prejudices, and absurdities that we all possess inside, you have to find it hilarious. Anyone who takes themselves too serious is someone who is not acknowledging flaws, or quirks within them. And there really is nothing you can say to that person to make them see it, because they will get offended at any little thing that doesn't fit in with how they see life and their little captions of conduct. Leave those folks to wallow in their self importance. Human beings are funny, and the situations that we create to complicate things is even funnier. So take moments to laugh at what life is, and the hands that it sometimes deals you, no matter how serious it is. I have been through very serious things in life, and as they were going on, it wasn't fun, nor would I wish them on anyone. But the growth that I took from those things is invaluable, and when they were going on, people made me laugh when I really didn't want to..And it was the best thing for me.

So cry, laugh, then cry again, and remember that it's all right to do both. Look at the world through humorous eyes, and your perspective will never be too heavy. We all will have times where it will seem not worth the effort, and that is human. "This too shall pass" was uttered to me plenty of times, and it was absolutely true. In my worst hours, there was something ironic, or something that merited a humorous moment of outlook. Laugh, make others laugh so that they laugh with you, and the more people that are laughing, that is less people are fighting, calling someone names, bitching, and complaining about trivial crap, or just plain creating stress and havoc for someone else..Only for a moment? Yes..But life is all about enjoying moments, because you have no idea when your last one will be. So why not make as many laughing moments as possible, because there will be plenty of people to cry for you when you are gone. Unless you were a miserable bastard to people in life. Then people will be laughing at the fact that you are no longer there to make them miserable...Now isn't that funny?

Self Deployed: D.I.Y. is the best M.O. against B.S.

An idea has to be followed by a process of execution, which means that the idea has to be thought out with all of the pros and cons in tact, in conjunction with the "what if's" and all of the "In case of's". In order to have a full fledged 3 dimensional idea, you have to play Devil's advocate, so that everything can be laid out in preparedness for the execution aspect. And when you project all of the dimensions of the idea, when things come up, it's a possibility that those things were anticipated, and worked into the foreseen process, therefore making the "thing" that came up easily handled. Now there will always be things that come up that you didn't expect, because Murphy is always throwing a monkey wrench into the machine. The true test of a well thought out idea, is how that idea functions in its execution form under adversity. And there will be adversity, but from where and what angle? That's a question that gets answered when it happens, and what is usually true is this one aspect: If you want the execution of an idea to work, it has to be in as few hands as possible, which means it should be in your hands. If you care about your idea, and you want no unnecessary hiccups, you will guard the idea like a winning lottery ticket.

There have been too many times that I have seen folks have a sensational plan, and well thought out goals, and someone comes and lets that plan go astray because it managed to get wrestled away from them. The idea, the central crux of execution gets lost in a shuffle of forks, turns, potholes, and misguided intentions on the road to proper deployment of  something that is 3 dimensional in thought. A good idea can become a wayward idea in no time flat, and it can be veering toward the ditch before anyone realizes it. Before you know it the bullet train of idea has become a treadmill, getting lost with other wayward mediocre situations. This often happens when the idea gets out of your hands, and out of the original concept of what you were trying to achieve, and that's the moment when most people realize that in order for something to get done, you have to do it yourself. Not only do you have to do it yourself, but you have to arrange it so that only you can do it.

Actions always speak louder than words, and in the case of the word "Do", it is most conducive to observation, because the folks who talk the loudest, produce the least, while the folks who just put their heads down and do, are the folks who control their ideas, and execute to perfection just what they said they would do. They never relinquished control of their idea, and they just quietly went about their business until their idea became a well oiled machine of efficiency. And most important is that they still never say a word. Their work speaks for itself, because they do it themselves, and avoid the B.S. of others fumbling their idea. If it is your idea, only you can put the heart, soul and imagination into what needs to be done to make it successful. Your M.O. should be the circle of you and as few people as possible. The more people that get involved in what you try to do, the more ways that it can get screwed up, overlooked, neglected, or just plain ruined. Out of those situations can be a complete rebirth as you now understand just what has to be done, and renewed objectives that can be pulled from it. Those situations can actually be better, because if your idea has weathered those situations then it is a great idea to be continued, and made better by no one but you.

The simple fact is that people can screw up anything if you let them, it is up to you to get the answers to fix it, and move forward. And you may just find out that everything will fall into place just like you foresaw it, once you take charge and do things yourself. There are many folks who will complain about a situation, or fall into the trap of belief that they can't do anything, and yet others will just be pissed about some aspect that they have control over. The idea is to channel that frustration and anger into the process of taking control of the situation. Life is full of these little skirmishes that test your meddle, will, and shape how you conduct yourself under these odds. it is important to stay focused, and engaged in the process of foothold. And that foothold is where your idea, and your execution come together, run by you, and presented the way you saw it.

Remember that it is all right to fail. Most people want to be in charge when things are smooth, but lay blame when things are not. When you are in charge, there is you, and if you are successful then wonderful. If you fail, then that's OK. The most successful folks in the world failed numerous times, and had to redirect their idea. But the fact that they were in charge of it was huge, as they could mold the new phase of their plan to be continued. So close your circle, and align yourself with doers and not talkers, because when someone is talking, then they are not executing, so why be around it. What you want to do should be self deployed, and operated by yourself, because you have the greatest interest in the outcome.
Roll with the wheels, get run over by them, or drive...Trust me, it is better being the driver.

Hands Across The Water: Citizen of the world

I try to sit and watch films of people from all over the world describing their daily lives, and what their hopes and dreams are, and talk to folks from other countries whenever I can, and it is crystal clear to me that people are for the most part in every country of every continent the same. They want the basic things of happiness, and no suffering, and the ability to take care of their families, and to love, and be loved, and most of all feel respected. It doesn't get any more complicated than that, and if someone tells you it is, then they are just applying their own personal ambitions to someone else. I am not talking about other governments or regimes, or any other ruling faction somewhere else. I am talking about the people under those situations. The true heart of  other countries are the people who like us try to make ends meet, survive, have laughter once in awhile, and who have love in their hearts, and resilient souls that get beaten down, but get back up to try again. You don't have to be a world traveler to understand this. You just have to listen because if you do you will hear your own voice, and your own heart, but in another language, dialect, or accent. We are all connected as human beings, and our similarities are more striking than our differences. That goes for anywhere on this planet. If people can take the horse blinders off, and see people as people, then the process can begin, but there are folks here that can't even talk to their fellow Americans without calling them some political name because of how they think, or fighting them verbally or physically over ideas when everyone has the same goal, but different approaches.

 Some people here think the term "Citizen of the world" means that you are not putting America first. So many people got up in arms about it, and for no apparent reason. I love America, and would not want to live anywhere else, but that is not what being a citizen of the world is all about. It is about accepting others and their cultures in the world as valuable and although different, it is important to them. Too many Americans think that America is the only place on earth, and that no one else has anything worthwhile to say in this world. Well this is a new day, and age, and the world is catching up, as the age of technology makes this planet smaller, and smaller. It is important to acknowledge and realize that there are places, and people who don't do anything like what you are used to, and their ways, and cultures are to be respected for what they are...Different. Barring violations on human rights, each culture has worth, and value, and under each of those cultures are people who are just like you and I but who do things different.

There are plenty of folks reading this who have been to other places, and far away lands, but you don't have to be one of those folks to understand that you are connected to someone an ocean away. A citizen of the world accepts the beauty that is in other people of the world, and appreciates the diversity of what they have to teach, and say. There is so much more out there than just your own back yard of ideas and concepts, that to shut them out because someone doesn't do what you do is almost an injustice to yourself. Too many times we lump people of other countries in with the actions of their Government, or a radical group that  happens to be of their religion or region. That is also unfair in itself, as many Americans of various groups jump up and down screaming when they are labeled as racists, religious nuts, criminals, or xenophobes. Why should we label groups from other countries as the names that they get called?

We as Americans often forget that some may look at us as Colonizers, meddlers, hypocrites, and self absorbed whiners, who have more in our sole possession than most families have in theirs from another country. But a citizen of the world from another country can look past that, and see just the American people and their heart and souls, which is what we are proudest of. I am a true believer that yes people are different all over the world, but we are truly all connected to each other, and don't have to speak the same language to smile at one another, shake hands, or be of comfort if there is sadness, or feel empathy if there is tragedy. I love people and other cultures, and there is much to absorb and learn from people who live differently, no matter where they may be. I often get the opportunity to talk with people here about the country that they came from, and it is a reaffirmation of what I said above when I do. They are the same as me. Hopes, dreams, love, heartache, laughter, sadness. The same elements that make up so many of us Americans. There is a distinct difference between patriotism, and a distorted vision of how we view ourselves as America. As most people know, but seem to forget, this land was the Native American's land, and most people here are not indigenous. They are from different places, and historic cultures, thrown together to make a unique melting pot culture of our own. Yes America is wonderful, but it is not the only place in the world, nor is it the answer to all of the world's problems. It is an infant country compared to the age many other cultures, but you would never know that by talking with some folks. Being a citizen of the world allows you to be aware of that aspect, and lose the highbrow, "Well I'm an American so go screw yourself" attitude. America is not the root of all evil in the world, nor is it the flower of virtue. Understand that concept, and you can accept the fact that sometimes the answers you seek are not just between New York, and Los Angeles.

It is wonderful to be a citizen of the world, because I can look at someone from somewhere else, and not just call him/her brother or sister, but I can truly feel that feeling of unity that is so needed for all of us to get along and accept one another. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we all considered ourselves not only Americans, but citizens of the world? The ability to accept, find beauty in, and share communion of friendship with other cultures and share yours is as fulfilling as anything you can look for because the affirmation that people are like us makes us feel not so alone in the world. Yes these ideas sound like Hippie talk to quite a few folks, but I don't see anything wrong with wanting the world to get along, and for people to feel connected to others that they have never met. As the question in the song asks, "What's so funny 'bout peace love and understanding?" My response is..Not a damn thing.

The Movement You Need Is On Your Shoulders: Be a Pro....Tester

Movements are always tricky because it's easy to get wrapped up in a cause, and lose sight of it at the same time. It can start off as something very noble in someone's head, and then be usurped by the wrong group of folks that steer it in another direction, and possibly in the ground. There are many things to call attention to, and many ideas that actually should be at least heard, because that is how our society works best. That is how most movements begin. An idea or concern that needs to be addressed and taken to the level of awareness on a grand scale. Something needs attention, and the best way that Americans bridge ideas of concern to action of awareness, is organizing movements. The movements can be as small as a committee in a condo association, or it could be as big as many branches of nationwide protests, but the main focus of any movement is one word. "Change". Someone's better is always someone's worse, so as many movements as there are, there are people who don't agree with them, and sometimes form counter movements just to in their minds balance things. That's fine because no one movement has all of the right answers, and people want to get heard for fear of being run over by some particular movement that they disagree with. The problem that movements run into is that in this day and age require constant media coverage to be relevant, therefore you will have people who really don't represent the true sentiments of the movement speaking untruths and not necessarily understanding the nuances of what is required to explain to folks just what the idea is. And people within the movements are too busy painting to everyone what they can't stand.

That is why the most important thing about movements has to be that they are FOR something. Too many movements are formed to be AGAINST something, or have vitriol for some entity that someone has made a case to be public enemy #1. Whether that entity be big Government, The President, Wall Street, or Billionaires, nothing is worse than a movement that uses the word "Against" in their description. It turns people off, and many can't get behind something that describes its main focus as conflict. A movement must become a mindset for people to gravitate to, and yes anger is a mindset, but there is a difference between productive anger that enables a person to be "for" something, as opposed to that unproductive contempt that fuels and motivates people out of fear that something will happen to them if they don't join. The movement on your shoulders is an important one because it is truly the mindset that has to lead the way to changes for the better, and not just talking points and signs.

I point to the Civil Rights Movement as an example of the perfect cause for protest in our history. It wasn't against anything when you really get down to Brass tacks. It was for the just cause of equal rights that everyone is this country was promised. It was for the betterment of humanity as a whole, and the heart of the movement was a man who understood that it was a mindset that had to change along with laws. Just one of those by themselves wasn't going to cut it, In order for people to want to be a part of the movement, and get behind it, it had to be for something. And that something resonated with people of different races, economic backgrounds, religions, and political leanings. The antagonists were never named, They didn't have to be, because they made themselves seen and known. The movement was just, and noble because it wasn't about these people against those people. It was about the right thing to do, and a cause that turned over rocks and exposed worms that people were afraid to acknowledge existing under them. That's what the best movements do. They awaken people's perceptions without scapegoats, and incendiary rhetoric. A parallel movement is what's happening all over the Middle East. Those people are fighting for basic human rights, and freedoms that we enjoy, and those movements are violent because that's the result of true oppression. But again the movements are "for" those basic things. They may be fighting against dictatorships, but what is transpiring is positive rebellion for basic things that all humans want, and are denied over there. And the change in mindset is at the heart of it. The movement is on the shoulders of those people first...In their hearts second...In their mouths third.

Movements must be just, and organized to a point where they have a center, and a purpose, and a heartbeat. A movement without those things is doomed, as it will wither away, and not fulfill its promise to be an agent of change. It will become corrupted by people trying to morph it into ideas identical to their own personal agendas and whims, and not for the greater purpose that it was intended. That is why every movement needs a manifesto, and a spokesperson who can articulate just what is being said, and tell others just what the movement stands for, what it hopes to achieve, and present solutions to the particular dilemma. But the main part of that movement is a collective mindset where everyone is in accordance with what thought processes need to be kicked into gear to truly make the changes. A true "Pro Tester" understands this, because it truly is testing the system, and trying to challenge people to push the boundaries of what they know and accept. A true "Pro Test" is one who will make people want to join something because it is "for" a cause, and not "against" some cloudy version of what they perceive of as "fighting the enemy". That doesn't work for long because the conditions eventually change, therefore what happens to the enemy? Are fingers pointed toward a now "new" enemy? And then a new enemy after that? When you are for something, there is no enemy..There is only striving for a goal and you will have more people join your cause because they won't have the fear of becoming the enemy Du Jour.

The movements that I see here in America have had promise, but they are falling victim to becoming something against, and not something for. Politicians attaching themselves to movements, is never a good thing because they begin to manipulate their agendas to ride a wave, trying to embrace some people while alienating others. And then the movement will become fractured because it will fight itself, and other people who would otherwise have supported it.
My advice is this: For those who want a movement, think first, because the movement you need really is on your shoulders first. A mindset that you have to use first to have solutions, and then once you have solutions, you can make everyone aware of them, as you are for a purpose, and not against a concept. You can be against something, but you will more likely to get people interested if your "for" is first and foremost. 

Remember that the 60's youth movement were for peace , love and equality. Where they went wrong was that they were more against the war in Vietnam then they were for those other things. When the war ended, so did they.

Lasting Ripples: The most important thing to leave behind

I thought about a conversation I had with someone a while back, and it touched upon what would I want to leave folks when I am gone. I never thought about it before, as no one wants to think about their own mortality for no apparent reason. I try to think about living, not dying, but it was an interesting question because not many people know what to say, outside of personal possessions or some advice to someone on how to live life to the fullest. There are people who make out elaborate wills to leave their children this or other relatives and good friends that, and focus on the idea that they have to leave some physical aspect of themselves to someone in order to be remembered in some fashion. The truth of the matter is that heirlooms, property, riches, and other physical aspects to be left over are not the most important things that one can leave.One can leave a house to their children, and they may share it, and use it as a vacation place, and that's fine. One can leave some expensive China in a will to be cherished down generations. In the end, that really doesn't matter. We all have a tendency to want to leave a mark or footprint saying that we were here on earth, and often they believe that footprint has to be something material.

The footprint that is most impressionable, and the legacy that is most potent is what intangible you leave with people. What you stood for, what laughter you shared with someone, what sadness you were there for, and shared, and whether you offered comfort. What advice you gave someone in times of trouble that they followed, and things turned out right. How you conducted yourself for others to watch, and take note of, and most importantly how you made others feel when they saw you, and were around you. These are the everlasting ripples that will live with people in their hearts long after you are gone, and these are the feelings that they will relay to others that will last far longer than some antique heirloom. These footprints and ripples are what people should strive to leave behind because qualities such as those can influence lives for the better. As I said before, you never know who you have influenced, and sometimes there are people you barely knew who were touched in some way by an act of kindness, or random conversation that really made a difference in their lives in some way.

I don't have riches. I don't have fancy China, or furniture to leave anyone. I have jokingly told my friends who gets what music equipment when I die, but I'm really not concerned with those aspects because when I'm dead, I obviously will have no say in the matter, so everyone scrounge away. What I do care about is whether I made a difference in someone's life for the better. Was I help someone work through a problem? I really have no control over whether someone likes me or not, because as I have said before I care not to be liked by everyone. If I am, then I pandered somewhere, and stood for nothing trying to please everyone, and that is no way to go through life. But what I do care to leave is some sort of memory with people that they can have for themselves. As if a piece of me was left here for them as their own. The ripple of interaction is a powerful connection that lasts far beyond the years of a person gone, and becomes etched in the mind of those for as long as they can remember.

I have no plans on leaving, or dying anytime soon, but no one knows how long they are here for. While I am here, I like to interact with as many people personally as I can. Whether it be in the act of just meeting once in life, or over the course of several times, I like people, and generally people are interesting to talk with and learn from. Yes there are some grand idiots out there, but they can be learned from also. I hope that I can lend knowledge to some also. Not just about music, or stats about some concrete minutia, but some real tangible knowledge that might help them in the future, or some conversation that resonated with them about life. Those are the things that I hope to leave to someone, and what we can all strive to do is be a thought in someone's head when they run into a dilemma, or be a smile on their face as they remember good times with you, or relay something to someone that you said, and it helped them. Those are the intangible ripples that we can all aspire to leave.
So beyond political ideas, moronic conflicts, and the fireworks of mouth running, make sure in life you give someone your essence. Who you are as a person, and just what you are about and stand for as a child of the universe. That is an important legacy for you to leave with someone, or many people, because that is your own rock that you stood on while you were here, and once you are not here, people that you knew and touched can chop up that rock and take a piece home with them for themselves. Their own personal piece of you that they can remember and cherish, and perhaps refer to in times that they need to. That is the legacy of you, and that is what will keep you alive long after the last tear has been shed for you. You will not be able to control what folks say about you when you are gone. There will be things said that aren't true, or exaggerated, or distorted in some ways. There won't be anything you can do about that, and that's just how it is sometimes. But what you can control is how you conduct yourself while you are alive, and how you interact with people now, and sometimes it won't be all good. But then again it won't be all bad either.

So leave your legacy of you, and let the memory of you be unique in the minds of everyone. It is there where your ripples will always be moving and influencing the shape of everyone. If I leave nothing except a fond memory of how I may have helped someone, laughed with someone, or had great conversations with someone that they can think back to, and treasure for themselves. That is perfectly fine with me. Because that meant that I gave them a piece of myself, which is the most valuable thing I possess.

Frothy The Lowman: Those heaping personal attacks

Within this hostile climate of a fractured, and struggling America, there seems to be a very nasty trend that supposed adults engage in. And because of Facebook, Blogs, cyber news articles, and other social media, people can hide. They hide behind a keyboard, or cell phone linked to the internet, or some anonymous name, or alter ego that they wish to use to convey some tirade. What they do when hiding behind these objects is personally attack people who they disagree with. As I've said in the past, there is nothing wrong with civil discourse, but some people take things far beyond discourse, and into the realm of name calling, and personal perceptions that are completely unnecessary. I see it all of the time, and am the occasional brunt of someone who disagrees with me, yet chooses to not mention the subject at hand, but instead throws some personal jab at my character, or creates a preconceived notion about who I am based upon my opinion about a particular subject. All the while frothing at the mouth behind a computer, and some seething notion that I must be addressed, and personally thwarted for possibly even having an opinion.

This is the cyber playground mentality, where the bullies when confronted with something that they disagree with instead of conversing would rather just say, "Oh yeah? Well you're stupid" In this cyber world of discussion, I constantly stick my neck out to something I disagree on, and get it chopped off not by someone who would like to just converse  in a nice manner to discuss subjects, but by two types of folks: A)Holders of all knowledge proclaiming self righteousness, who could never acknowledge that they might possibly be wrong in a million years, and B)Blowhards whose contributions to discussions are to name call, insinuate aspects of my character that they perceive to know, (or anyone else they disagree with for that matter,) and cyber yell putting exclamation points in front of statements condemning my contribution to the subject, while of course proclaiming themselves as people in group A.
Of course there are great folks whom I disagree with, but enjoy heartily their opinions and discussing things with them because they are adults, and can hold discussions in discourse without flying off the handle, or deep end. Some of those very folks I am proud to say follow my Blog here, and I would like to give them a nice salute.

The problem that these folks create, (meaning the ones who call names, attack personally, and can't hold discussions) is that they make it hard for everyone that would like to work things out and discuss things. If I jump in a discussion, even if I think someone is an asshole, I won't address that person as such. I like to state my opinion of the topic, and wait for a response which will hopefully be passionate, but full of information, on the topic..Not a change in the subject, and an insinuated question of my intelligence or manhood. Too many people engage in this type of rhetoric which for me brings the whole operation to a shut down. I have and will continue to state to folks that I am done with the conversation, and I leave the frothing up to them. As in the regular life of disagreements, there needs to be someone who says, "I'm stepping back." That doesn't mean that there is a weakness in this maneuver. It just means that it's really not worth indulging someone who is too far gone to just see someone as an individual with a different opinion. So what is the point of continuing?

I personally cannot deal with know it all mentalities, and addressing someone that I don't know in some negative fashion. If someone wishes to differ with me, I am all for it, because we all need to be challenged in our thinking, and get other perspectives from other sides. But if one wants to just spew crap without thinking, be a blowhard who doesn't stick to the subject, or piss all over my character that they don't know, I am out of there. And computers enable all of this type of behavior because there is a buffer zone of confidence that people use to shriek at, condemn, point fingers at, and verbally jab folks in writing, that would not be acceptable in public real life.

I have moments of wanting to jump through the computer, trust me I am no saint. But I do understand that this is an America of people on edge, and I choose my words carefully so that folks are respected even if I disagree with them. I have been the butt too many times of people who do not know me, yet have something negative to say about me, And I have seen others get chewed to shreds and called every name in the book by someone they have never met.  I have no use for those people who do that in real life or cyber. If you know me and think I'm an ass then that's cool. I care not to be liked by everyone..That would mean that I'm a panderer and I have no desire to be that. If some people don't like you then you are doing something right. There are people that I don't like. There are ideas that I like less, and there are people who I think have really shitty ideas, and perceptions. But that doesn't give me an excuse to call them names, nor does it give me an excuse to froth at the mouth against them. It does give me an option to either state my opinion, or leave them alone.

  This holds true especially if I don't know someone personally. There is no reason to be hostile towards them, or insinuate things about their character..I have no idea what someone's life is about, and what they have gone through, nor do they know that about me. With computers I believe that the art of conversation which includes disagreeing, has taken a huge plummet downward and will continue to get worse as the country's climate gets worse. There are too many ways, and too easy to say "I don't like you because of your idea" now, and there is no stopping the folks who don't know how to interact with others from jumping on and stirring up trouble because they can't deal with an adult conversation in person. The character that I've named "Frothy The Lowman" can be men or women who take discourse to its lowest level of playground name calling and spitting. They can't deal with regular communication, and decide to let their personal pride in what they believe, run their imagination, elevating them above everyone else, which enables them to feel confident enough to berate, and treat others with disrespect.

Those who engage in passionate adult disagreements without name calling, and personal attacks..I raise a glass to you. Those who wish to take discourse to a new low..I will not engage you, and I hope that others follow suit. Because when there is no one to play with them in the sandbox, they will take their bucket and go home, hopefully for a long time. Always remember this folks....Disagreements are a part of life....Arguments don't have to be.

Mind Over Blather: Outspoken consequences

My Grandfather is one of the smartest individuals I have the pleasure of knowing. He doesn't have much of a formal education, but can do anything, and knows more than plenty of academia  folks walking around today. That in itself is smart, but what makes him incredibly smart to me has something to do with one thing in particular..And that is understanding the weight of what he says. He is a serious quiet man who does way more listening than he does talking, and usually when he does open his mouth to say something important everyone around listens. Why? Because his thoughts are well organized and logical, he has analyzed whatever situation has been discussed, and talked about, so he is calm and to the point. I have never heard the man raise his voice, nor go off on some tangent that has nothing to do with the subject, and his points are based on a good mixture of experience, feelings, knowledge, and common sense. The thing that he understands most is that what you say, good and bad has weight and consequence, so it better be something that you can stick by, and live with, and not sound like an idiot spouting. Needless to say, the man has never come close to sounding like an idiot in all the time that I was raised by him and my Grandmother. He has always said, "Say whatever you want. It's a free country, but take the responsibility of your words."

Which brings me to my topic of just that. What led me to this thought process was the (As of writing, temporary) suspension of  Hank Williams Jr. from ESPN for comparing the President of the United States to Adolph Hitler, who is arguably one of the most evil individuals and mass murderers that has walked on the planet. A completely idiotic thing to say and spew out off the top of his head, but this is a free speech society, and he is allowed to say it, as people say idiotic stuff all of the time. So his involvement with Monday Night Football was suspended. I have heard cries from folks that his free speech was trampled on. That's a load of bull. He said what he said without going to prison, or someone knocking at his door, and dragging him away to some undisclosed location. But the people who were employers of him did not like the association, and how he represented himself, which is hand in hand with them, so they did damage control. Fair enough. If you open your mouth to say stuff, you have every right to say what you want, but understand that things you say have consequences, and you are responsible for your words. It would be all the same if I worked for a particular company, and trashed that company all over some news interview, and they got wind of it, and fired me. I certainly had a right to say whatever it was, but I should expect a reaction. And the reaction is concrete consequences in motion. If I am unhappy about being fired, I'm sure that someone would have the stones to say to me, "You should have thought of that before opening your mouth". Because that's the thing that gets most people in trouble. Not understanding or even expecting fallout from running at the mouth. If people understood their responsibility role in what they say, less stupid things might get said..Wishful thinking of course.

I am all for people speaking their mind, because that is what this place is all about, but most people seem utterly shocked when they ramble, and state things off the top of their heads without thinking, and there is a backlash of reaction. Usually the folks who claim to speak their mind, really don't seem to use it when opening their mouth. Sometimes "I speak my mind" is just code for "I don't think about what I say before I say it." The smartest folks that I know seem to be pretty quiet until something needs to be said, and when it gets said, it is usually well thought out, and can be discussed as substantial. And after they speak, even if the response is controversial, it has been stated in such a matter that it is mature in thought process, and explained in such a well rounded fashion, that the consequences are minimal because there was thinking involved. Now of course sometimes we as individuals will say the wrong things because we are human and we all make mistakes. But we are more likely to forgive someone who originates from speaking their mind in a rational manner as opposed to someone just babbling without any grey matter behind their words.
There are positive consequences also for what you say. Speaking out for injustices, or correcting wrongs, or whistle blowing about corruption has consequences also, but those consequences are usually a framework for change for the better. Ghandi, Dr. Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela...All individuals who understood the consequences and weight of their words, but also understood and took responsibility of what was going to be heaped upon them because of it. The ultimate goal for these men was to suffer those consequences, and be the focus for a cause bigger than themselves. Not just to gain attention to themselves for the sake of self indulgence.

You are supposed to learn at an early age about the consequences of what you say. In my world, if I talked back or dare swore, there were consequences that I would still be healing from today. How you conduct yourself, and what you say has positive residuals, and negative consequences, and it's important to know what those are, and when they will happen in order to be respected by folks. If you spout off at the mouth too many times, people will at first be shocked, and ready to condemn you, but then they will just dismiss you, and ignore anything you say labeling it as a joke. There will be people who will disagree with what you say, but if you state things with knowledge, facts, and conviction, even your disagreeing parties will respect you, and your consequences will be minimal, because what you say will always be seen as a valuable opposite opinion, and straight shooting dialogue. Straight shooter means getting to the point, not shooting from the hip wildly.

I saw it at an early age from my Grandfather. Everything you say has weight, and if you know that, you will think about what you say, and when you say it, and be responsible. And you will know also when to just shut up. Yes we have free speech here, and the protection of free speech is mostly to protect things we don't like, because why would you need to protect speech that you do like. But that freedom comes with a price of scrutiny, reaction, and sometimes consequences. You can say whatever you want, just be prepared for someone to react however they want. And if you work for someone, or are a representative of an entity that you are an image for, that reaction just may cost you money..As in not having any. So my Grandfather lives his life with a great concept and idea..And that idea is that having free speech means not using it because it's there. Sometimes knowing when to keep your mouth shut is the greatest freedom of all.

Introspective Detective : Enlightenment begins at home

Someone described what I do here as enlightening people. I don't see it that way at all. I appreciate the sentiment, but my goal is not to enlighten anyone because I can't. My goal is to present a particular point of view, and opinion that I have found true to my observations and experience. Someone else may have a completely different take about the same subject, and it is their right to have that. The main thing that I try to do here is present a piece of myself up to the microscope for examination. It's easy to form opinions about others, and interpret just what they do, but it is very hard to then look at those aspects and see various degrees of ones self. It is actually painful to do because sometimes what you see is not always joyous and pretty to look at. I often times as I write these Blogs, take opportunity to expand upon why something bothers me, or why a particular aspect makes me feel good or bad, and in order to do that I need to really examine my thoughts and my inner workings. I am not the holder, and purveyor of knowledge and wisdom, because I firmly believe that the more you think you know, the more you realize what you don't know. So my enlightenment is for myself, because it truly does begin at home.

There are introspective folks and there are people who are aware, but not necessarily searching all of the time. Both are fine. I happen to be of the first category, as I am always looking for something. Whether it be within, or without, I seem to be tormented by thinking too much. Mostly about myself and what I try to accomplish in this life. Other times about the universe and people, but either way, the faucet is always on. It is a tremendous challenge for me to not over analyze, question, and systematically break down things to find the essence of something to solve a problem, or digest situations. It is an effort for many people like myself to straddle the line between what is felt, and what is thought. Where we get into trouble is when we over think things instead of just feeling a situation, and letting it happen. Enlightenment is crucial to all who seek and search, because it is essential for the growth aspect of being. And in the process of growing, you discover new avenues of thought and action that can take one to the next phase of yourself.

I believe that everyone needs to know what makes themselves tick in some ways. What makes them happy, what annoys them, what drives them, etc... Not just those aspects of self, but the "why" factor. Why do they feel that way? Some folks never ask themselves about this hard question, and therefore often never fully correct mistakes in life, and often times repeat them over and over. If you know why you believe, think, or feel about something, you can really hone in on yourself, and work towards being the individual that you desire to be. It sounds deep, and complicated, but it really isn't. You don't have to be a Zen Buddhist to be introspective. Just know who you are, and ask why you are this being. I can't ask people this question, as I am constantly quizzing myself, but what I hope to do is perhaps inspire someone to do the same with themselves. I can enlighten no one, but I can show them that the discovery of ones self is an enjoyable process, that when set in motion is a wonderful journey. A journey with changes, and discoveries of layers, and hard to face revelations about ones self.

Each one of us is a constant work in progress with wonderful traits, and horrible flaws, and that will always be. No one is perfect, and not only that, no one is even close to perfect. We are balls of contradictions, fears, prejudices, and turmoil that we constantly are at war with, and there are bad choices, and questionable words, thoughts, and actions right around the corner daily that we might engage in. We all have stories, experiences, and our own set of values that we hold dear, and everyday there is something to learn if our eyes are opened enough. but enlightenment to me is not about discovering how the universe, and other people work. It's about discovering how ones self works, and figuring out just what type of footprint one would like to leave here when it's time to exit. Searchers, do this on a conscious level everyday, and sometimes can't get out of their own way for thinking too much. There truly is a "Why" to everything, but I have found out regretfully that sometimes as bad as you want it, that answer won't be shown to you for whatever reason. And for searchers whose main question is "Why" that is quite frustrating.

Whenever people ask my opinion about something, I can only do just that. Give them my opinion, and information that I have based on thoughts and experience of something. I cannot enlighten. That comes from within ones self, and not from others. I can point someone in the direction that I believe is a good thought process that worked for me, but I can't make anyone think. I can't change anyone, but I can help them see something that might make them want to change themselves. I can't tell anyone how to be in tune with themselves, but I can certainly let them know that it is a great thing, and it would be in their best interest to investigate, and be their own "Introspective Detective". But the most important thing I can tell someone to do is "Learn."

Learn yourself, learn about people around you, and yes learn about "The Universe" which to me is all of the intangible things that you don't necessarily see, but feel, because they exist. "The Universe" is an actual place, because it is in your heart and in your head, and all around you. It is bigger than you, but you are part of it. And all of us have a role in The Universe. And  the more you think about yourself, the more you realize that you are thinking about your role in The Universe. And as you think about that role, you will start to become enlightened, because you will see your place, and what you are supposed to do to leave a lasting footprint upon those you come in contact with, and even those you don't. And you will know what you have to do for yourself to achieve happiness. Then you can do two very important things. 1) Stop thinking about yourself, and 2)Start feeling good about yourself. You are your own house. Take care of it. Enlightenment begins at home.